Wish You Were Sober

Tuesday August 31st, 2021

REMUS

There's always a feeling of relief when a new chapter of life begins. Leaving all the old problems and drama behind is great preparation for new and exciting things. Or rather, in Remus Lupin's case, new problems and new drama.

Remus adjusted the straps of his bag as he crossed the campus of Hogwarts University. He inhaled deeply, savoring the mix of excitement and anxiety that came with new beginnings. He leisurely entered Gryffindor Hall, his dorm complex, and he made his way up to his room.

His floor was full of students' laughter and noise from all the unpacking. Today was the second day of student move-in. Remus had beaten some of the crowd by coming in on day one. As he walked down the hall, Remus noticed that several dorms had their doors open, and students mingled in and out of them, welcoming potential friendships.

As he passed an open door, Remus saw two raven-haired men who he assumed to be related unpacking their many cardboard boxes. One of them was decked out in Gryffindor-colored and labeled clothing while the other fit nicely into a leather jacket and black ripped jeans. They were joking around with each other and laughing. The guy in the jacket ran his hand effortlessly through his shoulder-length hair and his eyes met Remus'. He flashed Remus a lopsided grin and Remus couldn't help but smile back, blush creeping its way up his neck. Remus found his gaze lingering on the man even several seconds after he had looked back to his friend and the task at hand. That's when Remus realized he had reached the end of the hall. He had arrived at his room and of bloody course, it was adjoined to that of the leather-clad guy.

Fuck, Remus thought. Five minutes in and I've already got a problem.

He fumbled for his key in his pocket desperately trying not to make an utter fool of himself. He finally managed to unlock his door, closing it behind him as he let himself in. Remus let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding and set his bag down on the floor by his bed.

As thankful as Remus was to have everything unpacked yesterday to take the day to explore campus, he now had nothing to do, so he turned to something familiar to ground him. Remus picked up his book from his desk and flipped to the bookmarked page.

Barely ten minutes into another world, Remus heard a knock on his door. His bathroom door. It was a sudden reminder that his room was connected to Mr. School Spirit and Mr. Leather Jacket.

Remus hesitantly reached for the doorknob and opened the door. He was greeted with that same gorgeous smile and stunning eyes from before. "Can I help you?"

"I'm Sirius." The man stuck out his hand waiting for Remus to shake it.

"...And I'm sarcastic," Remus replied completely confused.

The man looked confused for a moment too, and then he laughed. "Nice one, but no. That's my name. I'm Sirius Black."

"Oh," Remus' face went red in embarrassment. "Sorry about that. I'm Remus Lupin." Remus shook Sirius' outstretched hand.

"It's all good." Sirius smiled. "I'm used to it. I guess you could say my parents are astronomy freaks. My siblings, cousins, and I are all named after constellations and shit."

"Interesting," Remus acknowledged. "So, is there a reason you're knocking on my bathroom door?"

Sirius looked confused again for a moment as if forgetting why they were having this interaction. "Oh, um…I just- I was wondering if you had an extra phone charger," Sirius blurted out. "My mate James here won't let me use his because his phone's "only at 50%."

Remus chuckled and waved Sirius into his room. "Yeah, no problem, mate." He pulled out his spare charger from his desk drawer. When he turned back around, Sirius was looking at the books Remus had in piles on the floor next to his bed as he had overestimated the shelving space.

Sirius picked up a book on top of one of the piles. "You like to read, huh?" He remarked. "I think you have more books sitting on your floor than I've read in my entire life. And we have an at-home library…"

Remus laughed again and he briefly wondered if Sirius was actually funny or if he was just pretty. "I've always loved to escape from reality. It's saved me a couple of times." Remus cleared his throat. "Anyways, here's that charger."

Sirius nicely placed the book back down and reached for the chord. As Remus handed it to him, he hoped that Sirius didn't notice the blush that surely filled his face as their fingers brushed.

"Thanks, mate. You're a lifesaver." Sirius locked eyes with Remus. "Um, would you like to hand with me and James? His mum sent a bunch of games and shit because she's Effie and we were just about to order some food too."

Remus was sure he imagined the redness on Sirius' face. "Oh, I was just planning on finishing my book-" Sirius' face fell slightly and how could Remus say no? "-But yeah, that sounds like a good time. I'm in."

"Sweet," Sirius clasped Remus' shoulder in excitement. "Come on, Lupin. Let's get this party started."

Remus watched Sirius saunter his way back to his room, following just slightly behind.

This is going to be fun…

—-------

SIRIUS

Several games, pizza boxes, and hours later, Sirius sat on the floor of his dorm with James and Remus. The three were now conversing comfortably, finding an easy connection between them. Sirius was grateful that Remus turned out to be a nice guy. He was easy to joke with, he was a good sport when he inevitably lost to James in Uno, and he seemed to be genuine. Sirius and James had joked about having terrible neighbors and were relieved that Remus didn't fulfill those thoughts. Sirius found himself watching the auburn-haired man while he talked with James. He liked the way Remus' body seemed to move fluidly and easily as he talked with his hands. He liked the way Remus' nose and eyes crinkled as he laughed. And he was mesmerized at the way Remus' hands dealt cards so smoothly. Several times throughout the night, Remus had nearly caught Sirius' careful gaze as he admired the other man. Suddenly, Remus' laugh caught Sirius' attention and brought him back into the conversation.

"Really?" Remus was saying in response to James. "Mate, that has got to be the funniest thing I've heard all day!"

"What did I miss?" Sirius smirked.

"Oh, I was just regaling Remus here with my sexual journey."

Remus chuckled. "I'm more fascinated by your 'how do you know you don't like it if you've never tried it' mindset. I wish I could've been more like that when I was in Year 10." Remus took a drink of his soda. "Although, that would've been a bit difficult seeing I was the "only gay in the village" type."

"Grow up in a small town, then?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, my whole family lives in Aberdaron, Wales," Remus continued. "It was a bit rough for me. I went to a small all-boys school where everyone knew everyone. I'm glad to get out of the small-town life."

"That's fair. Sirius and I grew up just outside of London," James informed. "London life is definitely the opposite of small-town life."

"You guys go to the same primary school then?" Remus asked looking at Sirius for a response.

Sirius, who had been staring at Remus for just a bit too long, cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. We could tell you stories from our school days."

James nodded in agreement. "The most impressive of those stories is the fact that the student population was huge yet Sirius still managed to land every girl."

Sirius smirked proudly, though he thought he noticed something like disappointment flash in Remus' eyes. "Yeah, yeah. It was nothing. Especially when you look like this." He gestured towards his torse and flashed a mock seductive smile at them.

Remus chuckled. "Anyways, so you guys went to primary school together. That means you've known each other for a while, huh?"

James nodded. "Yeah, we actually met when we were really little. Our families were pretty um…relevant to each other so we'd see each other at gatherings and things."

James looked at Sirius trying to read how much was okay to share with Remus. Sirius shrugged and continued where James left off. "My family is pretty shit so I'd spend a lot of time over at the Potter's when I was still in school."

"Oh, I'm sorry. That sucks," Remus said.

"Yeah, it's whatever," Sirius took a drink from his cup. "My parents treated me and my brother pretty badly. They disowned me when I wouldn't choose an 'acceptable major' whatever that means. And they disowned Regulus when he came out as trans."

Sirius felt James squeeze his shoulders. "My parents took them in though, so there's a happy ending."

Remus caught Sirius' gaze. "I'm really sorry, Sirius. I get what it feels like to not be accepted."

Sirius was tempted to ask what Remus meant but his voice had a sense of finality so he didn't push it. "Like I said, I've got the Potters now, they're my real family. And I still have Reggie."

"You have me, now, too," Remus said quietly, almost like he hadn't meant to say it out loud.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Well, now that things have gotten deep, I think it's time to break out the sweets. Chocolate anyone?"

James chuckled softly. "Nice aversion, mate."

Remus laughed as well. "Yes, well played; I always accept chocolate."

Sirius stood and made his way over to busy himself with looking through their snack bin. He hated bringing up his family. He didn't know why but something about Remus made him want to share every side of himself. It was like he wanted Remus to know everything about him so that he could know everything about Remus. He wondered what Remus had meant when he said he knew what it felt like to not be accepted. Sirius assumed it probably had something to do with him growing up in that small town with no one who was like him but he also felt like Remus meant something more. Sirius hoped he was reading too much into this. He didn't want Remus to have had to deal with anything like The Black Family. He wouldn't wish that upon anyone.

Sirius found what he was looking for and went to sit back down, this time sitting a bit closer to Remus than before. "Here you are, mate." Sirius handed him the chocolate bar.

"Thanks," Remus replied. Remus caught Sirius' eye again. Almost like he was asking if he was okay. Sirius smiled.

"Anyway," James continued. "You have to come with us on Friday, Remus."

Sirius perked up at that. "Yes, you should! Some upperclassmen are hosting a party at one of the society houses." Sirius hoped he didn't seem too enthusiastic.

"Sure," Remus nodded. "Why not."

James pumped his fist in the air. "Yes! We are gonna be best mates, I can feel it!"

Sirius laughed. "Chill out mate or you'll scare him away long before you can become best mates."