Your Regrets Are Late

Too much time has passed to accept the regrets of those who have sinned. The resentment she held in her heart already grew out of control. Now she tried not to understand them. She didn’t even want to give them an answer either. What she wanted for this time was to live her life the way she wanted it to.

 

“Your Highness?”

 

“…”

 

“Your Highness, where are you?”

 

“…I’m here, Martin. What happened?”

 

She was lost in thought and couldn’t even hear Martin coming.

 

“Professor Rosette Percy van Hail of Eralpier Academy has visited. What should I do?”

 

“Bring him to my room… no, can you bring him here?”

 

“I accept your order, Your Highness.”

 

After pondering a moment, Charelize remembered that she had previously told Professor Hail that she would show him lilacs. Charelize told Martin to bring him to the garden, then she waited for him.

 

“I thought I would never see this flower bloom and wither again in my life.”

 

“You’re here.”

 

Professor Hail, who said those words, sounded like he was about to cry. When he was the lilacs still blooming, Charelize thought it reminded Professor Hail of Crown Princess Elizabeth.

 

“May Goddess Resina’s blessing reach you, little Duchess.”

 

“…May Professor Hail also be protected.”

 

“I apologize for coming suddenly without a letter saying I would come. I was just trying to look around while I was in the capital… It seems I was unintentionally being disrespectful.”

 

“Don’t say that. It was me who said that the lilacs in the garden have not withered yet.”

 

Charelize led him to the place where her mother walked in the garden, sat, and drank tea.

 

“When you say that, this old man’s heart becomes lighter.”

 

“My mother always had tea here.”

 

“The reason why Your Royal Highness Yekaterina likes you… I think I can understand.”

 

“Even on the day of her death, she only expressed her concerns about me. I was an ugly daughter.”

 

“She must have been happy. Your Highness was with her at that moment. And the last person she made eye contact with was with you.”

 

At Professor Hail’s words, Charelize put on a bitter expression.

 

“I have something to show you. Can you follow me?”

 

“I still have the strength to walk.”

 

She headed to the innermost part of the garden with Professor Hail, who was joking and smiling. There she could see the tomb where her mother lay.

 

“…”

 

Professor Hail’s eyes stayed there for a long time, and he couldn’t continue to speak.

 

“My mother is not there.”

 

“What… do you mean?”

 

“Someone said that. How could a person who died as Elioter be buried in the cemetery of Marsetta?”

 

“Your Highness…”

 

“That’s when I knew. She won’t be able to sleep comfortably here. Even after she died, he couldn’t let it go.”

 

“If so… where is Her Royal Highness?”

 

“I buried her myself in her villa.”

 

“…”

 

“When the world that my mother wanted was created. When that day comes, I can release the shackles that have bound my mother all her life with my own hands… I plan to tack her back where she belonged to.”

 

Professor Hail, who understood Charelize’s words meaning belatedly, let out a sigh of relief.

 

The sky was clear. The sunlight reflected and dazzled her eyes.

 

She wanted to say it even with an excuse like this. Even after being hurt by people, betrayed by her people, and dying.

 

“I died once. I was betrayed by everyone and stabbed myself in an endless sense of despair.”

 

She still missed her people. That fact couldn’t be denied.

 

“Your Highness.”

 

“When I woke up and opened my eyes… I went back to the spring when I was 17.”

 

“…”

 

“Now I am living the past four years ago once again.”

 

She had already expected it once, but more silence came. Charelize didn’t dare to properly look into Professor Hail’s face. After taking a few deep breaths, she finally turned around and spoke her words.

 

“You can call it nonsense. I’m so tired these days that I can’t—”

 

“Little Duchess.”

 

“Yes?”

 

She quickly gave a slightly forced smile as she tried to turn the topic. However, Professor Hail’s reaction was unexpected. He was taking Charelize’s words seriously.

 

“You said… you’re coming back to your past.”

 

“Are you sure… to believe what I say?”

 

Even Charelize, who spoke first, asked back with a surprised look.

 

“I haven’t actually published it, but I have seen related books while preparing my thesis. The people who brought back the time of their dead companion and brought their companion back to life…”

 

“What do you mean by that?”

 

“Edelise… do you know a clan with that name?”

 

When ‘Edelise’ was mentioned by his mouth, Charelize unwittingly tensed up.

 

“I don’t think this is a story to be shared here. Let’s go to my room.”

 

“I think it would be better to do that.”

 

Charelize struggled to calm her pounding heart and went up to her room with Professor Hail.

 

“Hailey, can you send the other away?”

 

“Yes, Your Highness.”

 

She ordered Hailey to send all the servants around away.

 

“Professor, how did you come to prepare a thesis about Edelise? And to say that they turned back the time of their dead companion…”

 

Charelize grabbed her trembling heart and resumed the talk they had before.

 

“When my daughter died… I didn’t have the courage to live anymore. So… I went into the dark forest and tried to end my life…”

 

Professor Hail, who answered Charelize’s question, had sad nostalgia in his eyes.

 

* * *

 

37 years ago.

 

Professor Hail was busy with work, so he repeated his life of leaving early in the morning and coming back late at night. He got used to having his daughter sleeping on the sofa at some point, tired of waiting for him when he got home.

 

“…Dad? You’re…here.”

 

When he took his daughter to the bed and covered her with a blanket, she woke up knowing her father’s touch.

 

His daughter’s smile, who smiled broadly even when she had just woken up, was very innocent. He wanted to keep that smile for the rest of his life.

 

“Baby, I’ll take you to the festival tomorrow.”

 

“Really? It’s a promise! You have to fulfill it, Dad!”

 

“That’s right, Lena. It’s late at night, so why don’t you get more sleep?”

 

“Yes, good night.”

 

However, Professor Hail couldn’t go to the festival with his daughter that day. Strangely enough, his work ended late that day, so the sun had already set, and it was dark when he went out. He felt sorry for not keeping the promise he had made last night, and wanted to buy her a present.

 

“…give me this.”

 

“Is it for a gift? Would you like it to be wrapped?”

 

“I will give it… to the most precious person in this world, so please take care of it.”

 

“Yes, I understand.”

 

He pondered for a while at the stand on the way back. Then he bought a small hair ornament the same color as his daughter’s eyes, even though it was cheap. He had fired all the servants except for his daughter’s nanny to pay off his debts, so he felt sorry that he couldn’t buy jewelry for her.

 

“Dad, you’re here.”

 

“…Lena.”

 

“Is it a gift? So pretty! I’ll treasure it for the rest of my life.”

 

“…”

 

“Is Lena pretty?”

 

But her daughter loved that humble gift. She took care of her ugly father, who was exhausted from work and didn’t even think about why he came so late.

 

“Dad, you worked hard today, so I won’t be nagging even if you drink. Don’t worry!”

 

His wife said she couldn’t stand living like this, so she ran away without even thinking about her daughter. That was why his daughter had matured so quickly despite her young age.

 

“Lena?”

 

“…”

 

“Don’t you think it’s too late to play hide and seek? Baby, come out now.”

 

It was the day when he came home late from working overtime. Oddly enough, he didn’t see his daughter on the sofa today. He thought she was hiding somewhere to surprise her father without sleeping. After looking around the house and not finding her, he knocked on his daughter’s room.

 

“Lena, are you here?”

 

“…”

 

He couldn’t hear anything, so he hurriedly opened the door as he felt uneasy.

 

“…Lena?”

 

“…”

 

“Lena! Baby. What… What is… going on? Baby!”

 

What caught his eye was his daughter lying on the floor with a droopy body. Next to her lay his wife, who had run away long ago. His daughter’s face was so pale. Her whole body was cold, and her heart didn’t beat.

 

He looked around at the unbelievable situation and found a pillbox rolling away. When he opened the lid of the pillbox, he could easily recognize it. It was the sleeping pill that his wife took every night. More than half of them have already disappeared, leaving only a few pills.

 

He hurriedly opened his daughter’s mouth and pulled the pills under her tongue. An hour passed, two hours passed, and morning came, but his daughter was still not breathing.  

 

“Dad brought you some accessories. It’s pretty… really pretty.”

 

“…”

 

“Dad bought my baby’s favorite candy…”

 

“…”

 

“Please… please open your eyes, baby…”

 

He never heard that little heartbeat again.