Alpha Raven | #1 in the Trueblood Series

Kira was feeling really upset today. Other than the fact that it was her brother's death anniversary, she was also feeling left out. But of course, she would never say this to anyone. There was something going on among the Alpha, Beta and Gamma and she had no idea what it was. Aside from this, she hasn't had a chance to visit the human girl. Alpha Azraiel had strictly forbidden all pack members from visiting her. We are to speak to her only if she initiates the conversation. Alpha doesn't want her to freak out.

Like we would eat her...Geez....

The silence of her house and the thoughts churning in her head soon took the form of a headache. It wasn't long before she was sitting on the sofa clutching her head in her hands. She was about to get up and make herself some tea when the bell rang.

As Kira focused on the person outside her house, she internally scolded herself.

Stupid!!! How can I forget? Of course, he'd visit. He always does.

Kira quickly got to her feet and opened the door. Alpha Azraiel was standing at her door with freshly baked cookies that she loved so much.

Kira gave him a teary smile and stepped aside for him to enter.

He quickly put the cookies on the table and turned towards her, "Care for a walk?"

Kira just nodded and followed him outside, locking the door behind her.

They were walking side by side with matching steps. Kira liked it. She liked it a lot.

"Has he called?" Alpha Azraiel's question brought her back from her dreamland.

"No...Alpha." Kira answered with a blank face.

She kept her gaze fixed on the ground but saw him nod from her peripheral vision.

"How are you, Kira?" He asked this question every year on this day. On normal days, Kira would 'woman up' and say "I am good Alpha" and dodge the question but not on this day. No...she didn't have that energy to lie.....to herself.

With a huff she answered, "Angry? Sad? Lonely? I don't even know anymore, Alpha." She threw her hands up in the air.

She felt him stop abruptly. When she turned around, she expected a face full of pity and sympathy and yet her Alpha surprised him with a blank stare.

"Let it out then. Tell me what's bothering you?" His voice was softer than the expression on his face. So...So...soft.

Kira gulped loudly.

"I....He...He hasn't called in months. I don't know if he is even alive. The bond...it gets weaker and weaker with each passing day...and I ....I can see myself slipping away, Alpha. The pain....it's ...just too much...it's unbearable, Alpha. It feels like there is a knife stuck in my heart and someone keeps twisting it every day to push it deeper and deeper. I....My life...it seems purposeless. I am not focused, not as sharp as I used to be. It was my lack of competence that allowed the human to reach our borders, Alpha. What if....what if she had rouges with her Alpha? I put our pack in danger....It's...it's all my fault."

Tears were streaming down her cheeks like a waterfall. Damn.....She hasn't cried like this since he left.

"No...no...no...Kira. This...any of this isn't your fault ...okay? You did not put our pack in danger. Nothing happened. No one got hurt...no one died...right? Please don't beat yourself over something that never happened." He stepped forward and held her shoulders. His touch....It made her feel something she shouldn't have felt.

"As far as the purpose of your life is concerned, you do have a purpose, Kira. You are the Head Warrior of the Blue Orchid pack, more than 4000 werewolves trust you blindly with their lives. Your purpose is to do everything in your power to keep them safe, to prepare for the unthinkable and invisible. We NEED YOU, Kira. Don't forget that.

And you are not lonely. You have me, Matt, and Theo, and I can assure you that there are many..many people in this pack that consider you as their family. If someone doesn't know your worth, then it's their problem, okay? Just...Just don't lose hope."

Unable to speak anything, Kira just nodded and tried to stop her tears. Unable to control her emotions, she just mumbled a quiet "Thanks" and let her Alpha take her home.

***************

Azraiel slumped in the chair in his office after visiting Kira. It wasn't that Azraiel wasn't emotional, on the contrary, he felt everything deeply. The problem was expressing how he felt. He was very emotional himself and yet he becomes a statue when he finds himself in an emotional situation. However, being an Alpha helped him a lot, since he was practically forced to deal with situations like these every day. But it would be safe to say that he was still very far from being able to express his emotions clearly.

After his walk with Kira, he felt exhausted. He cracked his back and as he leaned back into his chair a certain human flashed in this mind. Oh, Lord!! How he wished he was with her right now. Just seeing her would relieve all of his stress.

He forced himself to stay seated even when every cell in his body was screaming at him to visit his mate.

Even if he did visit her, what would they even talk about? She seemed to speak just as much as Azraiel if not less.

Without any topic to talk about, the awkward silence would just make things weird.

He was still thinking whether he should visit Charlotte or not when he heard Theo speaking to him through the mindlink.

"Hey...Are you done with the work?"

"Yeah... I was just leaving." Azraiel answered.

"Okay..then...Can you do me a favour?" Theo asked

Nope..not at all...Azraiel wanted to say.

"What is it?" He asked instead.

"I promised Charlotte I'll take her to the park behind the medical wing in the evening. But you see...I totally forgot that

Kira isn't working today and I am the one in charge of patrolling the borders today. Can you please..please take Charlotte to the park?"

Azraiel was silent for a few seconds trying to comprehend what his Gamma just said...and when it registered in his mind...he screamed in the mindlink.

"Why the fuck were you taking MY MATE to the park?" His body was vibrating at the anger his wolf was feeling right now.

"Oh Good...So you will take her. Cool...see you tomorrow." Theo signed off without replying to him.

Damn you. Theo. I am going to kill you.