Earth Survival Guide

"Boss, two tofu puddings, five deep-fried dough sticks, and ten buns."

Sitting at a small street stall, the early morning sunlight gently bathed him, and the air carried a cold chill. Gu Tao finally couldn't endure it anymore and put on thermal underwear beneath his jacket, but he still felt cold.

Xin Chen seemed fine; carrying a box containing Mengxiong on his back, he looked like a penniless folk music fan. Of course... that's because he's handsome. If he were ugly, he'd probably be considered a smelly rock loser.

"I've got a lunch date with the little junior sister. You should go tidy yourself up."

"I only have two outfits, one is the jacket I wore for food delivery, and one is summer clothes. What do you expect me to wear?" Gu Tao said indistinctly with a dough stick in his mouth: "It's not like a blind date, what's there to tidy up."

"Oh, it's not a blind date for me but I can't say the same for you." Xin Chen picked up his phone, flipped through it, and placed a photo of the little junior sister in front of Gu Tao: "Look at those teeth, look at those legs."

"I find your description very refreshing."

Although Xin Chen's description made the atmosphere weird, Gu Tao had to admit that the girl in the photo was beautiful. She sat on a chair, head bowed reading a book, her demeanor elegant, her skin radiantly full of collagen, her long hair pulled back, her features radiating the youthful vibe peculiar to her age. She wasn't dazzling to look at, but her calm and tranquil aura was quite comforting.

And all of this was captured by Xin Chen. A typical straightforward guy like him wouldn't even think about photo editing, let alone framing a shot properly. Judging by his composition, he probably intended to photograph the cat licking its paw to the left of the little junior sister. She was completely incidental.

"We'll get you some clothes later, the little junior sister is quite particular, and well-educated."

"Pff... education."

Gu Tao's disdain left Xin Chen somewhat uneasy, especially since they had just come from a place resembling a sci-fi movie set and had witnessed the power of technology, which made Xin Chen, who hadn't even completed the nine-year compulsory education, feel quite out of place.

"But you're paying for the clothes, I have no money."

Gu Tao didn't mind sprucing himself up a bit; after all, he was part of the elite class when he studied at Pan-Human University. Though not luxurious, his attire was at least appropriate.

But now, six years of wandering on Earth had long since made him discard those unnecessary things. Once survival becomes the primary objective, many things become unimportant.

"Does your junior sister care a lot about appearances?"

"Doesn't everyone care about appearances to some extent? At least the first impression should be good, right? After all, she's a girl." Xin Chen pushed his glasses up: "And you can't call her junior sister, you must call her senior sister."

"Not calling."

"If you don't call, senior brother is going to be unhappy."

"Let him be unhappy and hang himself. What's it to me?" Gu Tao turned away; noticing that the buns on the table had been rapidly dwindling, he paused and said discontentedly: "Did you wolf down the food while I was talking?"

Xin Chen, who had just stuffed another bun into his mouth, mumbled: "No, just hungry."

"I can't be bothered with you."

What followed was an eating contest between the two men, devouring the food like hungry hounds. The originally planned ten buns were nowhere near enough; they ended up consuming thirty-seven buns in total, and Gu Tao came out on top by one extra bun.

"I won." Gu Tao leaned against a pole, rubbing his stomach: "I can't move..."

"Junior brother, don't be so competitive." Xin Chen wasn't feeling much better himself; as he spoke, he burped, feeling as if it were about to bubble out, probably stuck in his throat.

"What right do you have to talk? Your hand speed was pretty fast just now, like a professional."

A Sword Immortal and an extraterrestrial science officer, both incapacitated by overeating and unable to move for more than an hour, might be the most bizarre pairing in the world.

In the end, Gu Tao was half-pushed, half-willing to buy clothes, and Xin Chen hadn't bought new clothes in a while either, so they took the opportunity to shop together. But don't expect two straight guys to choose outfits well. In the end, Gu Tao picked a long down jacket, thick and reassuring. Xin Chen chose an overcoat, bulky and awkward but warm.

Well, if these two weren't fairly good-looking, they could easily be mistaken for a security guard and an early-rising angler. However, Gu Tao and Xin Chen weren't self-aware and even complimented each other on their good taste and great choice of clothing.

How should I put it? A woman can take three months to pick out a single piece of clothing, hunting for winter wear before summer ends, while men, especially straight men, generally have three standards for clothing: wearable, durable, and black. Not to mention steel-straight guys like these two, the criteria are even simpler: durable and wearable.

Xin Chen had arranged to meet the junior sister at the Prince Building, and the reason for choosing this place was because Xin Chen rented a shop there, he knew the place well. From Gu Tao's perspective, the hotel's proprietress obviously had her sights set on Xin Chen. The fervor she showed upon his arrival was really quite nauseating; she seemed almost ready to plaster herself all over him.

"Ah Chen, you haven't come to eat at your big sister's place in a long time, what'll you have today? It's on me."

"Today I'm treating the junior sister."

As soon as the junior sister was mentioned, the proprietress's face sunk dramatically, gone was the warmth from before. Upon seeing her change, Gu Tao asked with a chuckle, "Proprietress, who exactly is this junior sister that you're so afraid of?"