Earth Survival Guide

"Afraid? Me, afraid of some little girl whose hair hasn't even grown yet?"

Hair hasn't even grown... Gu Tao mulled over this phrase, then asked with a serious face, "When you talk about hair, do you mean she's young, or that it really hasn't grown?"

The landlady paused, then laughed with her hand over her mouth, the giggling sound echoing around, and she playfully slapped Gu Tao, "You really are something."

Gu Tao: "???"

However, since it was almost the busiest time, the landlady couldn't chat more with these two cute little brothers, so after they ordered, she teased them a bit and left.

After the interesting landlady left, Gu Tao went straight to the private room window, opened it and leaned out to look at the noisy traffic on the road outside, "I mean, inviting a girl out to eat and ordering a bunch of pig intestines and beef omasum, that's not great, right? And you can still eat it?"

"Can eat, can eat." Xin Chen played with his phone, not even looking over as he said, "Junior Sister doesn't mind. When we were kids, I even tricked her into licking cow dung."

Just as he was talking about licking cow dung, a girl appeared at the door, with a frosty expression. She had long hair reaching her waist, big eyes, very good skin, and slightly upturned corners of her mouth. Her thin lips looked rosy, she must be quite young, but she had a very good air about her. It's just that she looked very angry, as though she was about to eat someone alive.

"You don't know, she has been pretty since she was young. In middle and high school, a lot of boys liked her, then I would secretly observe, and whenever I felt she took a liking to some boy, I would transform into her and beat the guy up. So in high school, she got the nickname Extinction Master, and she had no idea why, hahahahaha..."

Xin Chen was laughing heartily, oblivious to the fact that the girl standing not far from the door now had a knife in her hand, and Gu Tao didn't say anything, just stood there with his arms folded, "Anything else?"

"Yeah, after she went to college, it was too far for me to monitor her, so I used paper cranes to follow her. Whenever she stayed out past ten, I would call her mom, that is, my master. And if that didn't work, I'd cast a spell to make the men around her see hallucinations, the really scary kind of hallucinations. She got famous in school because of this, and people said she was haunted by a vengeful spirit, that no man should come near her. So I made sure Junior Sister has never had a boyfriend up to this point."

"I'm going to kill you!"

All of a sudden, Junior Sister rushed in with the knife and, without a word, swung at the back of Xin Chen's head, but Xin Chen just exclaimed, and the moment he turned his head, the ceramic knife broke against his face, leaving him unharmed.

"Ah…" Xin Chen looked up at the furious Junior Sister, whose face flushed red, "Liuzi, when did you get here?"

Junior Sister was shaking with anger, her teeth clenched in a way that had its own charm...

"Come on, let me introduce you. This is my Junior Brother, the one I've told you about in the messages. Get to know each other. Taotao, Taotao, this is Junior Sister, your future wife."

Honestly, Gu Tao felt his face flush; he had never seen such a shameless person, talking about how he tormented Junior Sister one second and the next, forcibly arranging a CP.

"Get lost, I never want to see you again."

Junior Sister turned to leave, but Xin shook his phone, "I've told the master, and she said to leave it to me. If you're still stubborn, I can beat you too."

Gu Tao's eyes widened, wondering how bizarre a family must be to end up like this...

"Taotao, come on, sit down." Xin Chen patted the chair next to him, then pointed at the one next to Gu Tao, "Liuzi, sit there!"

The difference in tone from one moment to the next made Gu Tao feel almost embarrassed.

Xin Chen's junior sister was already misting up with tears, her aggrieved expression made even Gu Tao feel a bit of heartache, so he shifted his body slightly to block her from Xin Chen's view, pulled out a pack of napkins from his pocket and handed them to the junior sister, then motioned for her to leave quickly.

"Junior brother, don't indulge her, you don't know her situation!" Xin Chen's tone became increasingly stern, "I told you to sit down, didn't you hear?"

The junior sister, feeling wronged, took her seat, while Gu Tao also sat down, frowning, "Why are you like this? Would it kill you to speak nicely? No matter what, she's a girl, do you find it amusing to act like a wicked stepmother?"

Hearing her cheap junior brother venting at her senior brother, the junior sister lifted her head in surprise, then quickly lowered it again, secretly wiping her tears.

"Junior brother, you don't understand. Liuzi's situation is special." Xin Chen sighed, "The old man had an agreement with someone back in the day, saying that our junior sister must marry someone from the Taoist Sect."

"How long ago was that? It's pointless to care about such things now!"

"Forget it, now is not the time for you to know, it's quite troublesome." Xin Chen waved his hand, "I'm going to the supermarket downstairs to buy some instant noodles, you guys chat first."

At this moment, Xin Chen still showed restraint; as he rose slowly, he left the junior sister with a meaningful look...

Seeing her senior brother leave, the junior sister breathed a sigh of relief, then in an instant, the look of grievance on her face vanished, and she stuck out her tongue at Gu Tao, even sending him a wink, "Not bad acting, right?"

Holy crap! What kind of people are they all?

"So you are the junior brother? Quite a handsome little face you've got, but your taste is so poor, just like senior brother." Liuzi evaluated Gu Tao's clothes while extending her hand, "Xin Liuzi, 'Liuzi' as in the number six after one two three four five, and 'zi' as in the 'zi' in peach, plum, apricot, and persimmon."

"This... doesn't add up." Gu Tao gently extended his hand and lightly grasped Liuzi's hand, "You're gay, right?"

"Huh?" Liuzi was taken aback, "What do you mean?"

"You have a tattoo on your left ankle, it's a mark of the gay circle, and since you couldn't interact with men from a young age, you've always been around women. Plus, with the tattoo on your left foot, you're probably a 'T.'"

Liuzi's expression changed rapidly, and Gu Tao could see clear fear in her eyes.

"I won't tell Xin Chen." Gu Tao released Liuzi's hand, "I study sociology, I've done quite detailed research on the LGBTQ+ community."

"Strictly speaking, I'm bisexual." Liuzi evidently relaxed, "But that bastard made it so I basically can't interact with men, so there you go... You've got to keep this a secret for me, otherwise I'll get beaten to death."

Gu Tao chuckled, "You'll definitely get beaten to death."

Though Liuzi's personality was somewhat mannish, overall she was quite adorable, and Gu Tao was very good at chatting with people, so after clearing up the possibility of being each other's spouse, they instantly hit it off. Liuzi was straightforward, Gu Tao had interesting ideas, and the two of them chatted about fun stuff like buddies. Sometimes Liuzi would flex her arm muscles like a boy for Gu Tao to feel, other times she'd speak in a coy manner like any other young lady, which was quite interesting.

Before long, the dishes were served, and Xin Chen came back up lugging a box of instant noodles. The moment he entered the room he saw Liuzi perched on Gu Tao's shoulder, laughing uncontrollably, and he was taken aback.

"You two hit it off like this?"