Esa Promesa

I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay by the side of the person who said they loved me.

I wanted to remain in one place, but I was terrified that the events of that day might repeat, that I might relive those sensations again.

I was afraid of my loved ones leaving me behind and dying.

I was scared of being abandoned. I was so terrified of being betrayed that it was incredibly difficult to let anyone get close.

Watching someone I cared about die before me, knowing I could do nothing but watch, unable to follow them, left me with the horrifying reality that I would always be left completely alone. That truth was more terrifying than the sensation of death.

“Tei.”

A voice from above me reached my ears, and I reached out my hand. Warmth met my fingers.

Without knowing what it was, I pulled it close, hugging it tightly against me. I was cold. I was scared. I didn’t want to be alone again. The feelings I had tried so hard to ignore overwhelmed me, pressing down on my chest and making it hard to breathe.

“Teian, it’s okay.”

The weight on top of me wasn’t heavy. It was warm and gentle, and a sob escaped from deep within me. I felt a hand caressing my cheek, and I nuzzled into it, hugging tighter. I couldn’t bear the thought of it vanishing again, of being left alone. The fear was unbearable.

“I’m here.”

The warmth brushed past my eyes and disappeared. Were they pulling away? Panic surged. Don’t go. Don’t leave me. Please. Just as I was about to plead, I felt a hand covering the back of mine.

“Don’t worry. I won’t leave you. I’ll stay by your side. I’ll never let you be alone. You don’t have to be scared anymore.”

Their gentle reassurance gradually calmed my trembling body. The familiar voice, full of certainty, wasn’t lying. Slowly, my mind began to clear. That’s when I realized, I had my eyes closed. When did I close them?

“……?”

When I opened my eyes, I was met directly by a pair of gray eyes staring intently at me.

Unsure of the situation, I blinked and stared blankly at Diver. Was this a dream? Just as the thought crossed my mind, Diver smiled, his eyes crinkling.

That faintly lazy smile gave him the look of someone who had just spent the night with a lover. A shiver ran down my spine, and my mind snapped into focus.

Why is this man here?

My heart was pounding wildly in fear, but I forced myself to assess the situation. I lowered my gaze to Diver’s clothes.

Thankfully, he was dressed. A minor issue was that his attire wasn’t casual loungewear but his formal uniform. The slightly crumpled hem of his clothes caught my attention, but when I realized the fabric was crumpled because it was clutched in my hand, my blood ran cold.

I quickly released it, but the damage was done, the garment was hopelessly wrinkled. The thought of the fabric’s exorbitant cost flashed through my mind. Surely, he wouldn’t bill me for it…? I averted my gaze from his clothes and met Diver’s eyes again.

“Why is Your Majesty… here?”

I couldn’t bring myself to ask why we were lying in the same bed or why I had been holding onto him like that, so I simplified my question. Diver smiled softly in response.

“Where is ‘here’?”

“Well, it’s… huh?”

Only then did I glance around the room. It was Diver’s bedchamber. I needed to rephrase my question.

“Why am I lying down?”

“Don’t remember? Then try to think, Tei.”

“I went to the medical wing to be examined by Lord Asyan, and then Your Majesty summoned me, so…”

I recalled meeting Rudiena. Trying to recall what happened next brought a faint headache. Pushing through it, I retraced my memory. I remembered entering the reception room with Ewyn.

“I greeted Your Majesty in the reception room… and then, the high priest….”

I remembered the face of the high priest as they removed their veil before me.

I swallowed hard. At the same time, Diver placed his hand on my shoulder. His warmth was almost searing, pulling me back to my senses. I exhaled shakily.

“You fainted as soon as you saw the high priest’s face. Tei, do you know them?”

“I do not.”

I don’t. I don’t know that person. And I don’t want to.

I had seen Silex kill him. I didn’t want to know how he had survived or if that insane ritual had actually succeeded.

I was terrified Diver might press further. I jumped up, trying to get out of bed, but he caught me and forced me to sit back down.

“Let me go.”

“You’re trembling like this, where do you think you’re going?”

“Trembling? Me?”

I thought it was nonsense, but I quickly realized he wasn’t lying. At a loss for words, I closed my mouth, and Diver pulled me into an embrace. The hold wasn’t strong. It was loose and gentle, something I could easily break free from if I tried. But it felt more reassuring than anything else.

I stayed in Diver’s arms for a long time. Only after my trembling had stopped did he release me.

“…What was the name of that high priest again?”

“Edvan.”

Not Reynold. It could be an alias, but it was still a different name. Thinking carefully, I started to recall that their face seemed a bit different, too.

It was such a horrific life, my seventh, that I wanted to erase it from my memory. Maybe I had projected Reynold onto the high priest simply because of a resemblance.

“Tei, while you were unconscious, the high priest examined your body.”

“Without my permission?”

“You collapsed so suddenly that I was worried your condition had worsened. I had no choice. I apologize for that. I’m sorry, Tei.”

I looked at Diver’s face and found myself speechless.

If his expression had been insincere, I might have argued, but his crestfallen look wasn’t fake. It was the same expression he’d worn when he accidentally killed the bird I was caring for when he was about seventeen.

“I’ll let it slide this time.”

“Thank you, Tei.”

Seeing his relieved face, I couldn’t bring myself to stay angry.

“So, what’s the result?”

I spoke indifferently, pretending not to care, while closely observing Diver’s expression. If the high priest had treated me, he would know I couldn’t be saved. Yet his face was strangely bright, which struck me as odd.

“They said with continuous treatment, you can be fully cured.”

You’re being deceived.

I held back the words that rose to the tip of my tongue.

Can a high priest go around deceiving people like that? I had already shown my body to priests who served other gods and to a priest once called the incarnation of a deity in the past.

That’s why I knew, without a doubt, that the words of this high priest, who bore an uncanny resemblance to Reynold, were nonsense.

Diver despised priests more than anyone. Imagining how much he must have offered the temple to bring that high priest here, and how much more he would spend under the pretext of treating me, filled me with a violent urge to march to the temple and set it Avlaze.

“Your Majesty.”

“Isn’t it good news, Tei?”

“Do you truly believe that high priest’s words?”

“It’s a matter of your life, which I hold dear.”

Whether it was a lie or the truth, he intended to take the gamble.

I hesitated. Striking Diver on the head would be considered treason, but what if I made him hit his head on the bedpost himself? Maybe that would bring him back to his senses.

It infuriated me that Diver, who had been perfectly fine, was now gambling money away to the people he usually despised, all because of me.

“Send the high priest away.”

“Why?”

The question made me pause. I lifted my gaze to meet Diver’s. Why hadn’t I noticed before? Only now did I see his face clearly.

“…Your Majesty is truly shrewd.”

“It’s thanks to my capable advisor.”

Depending on how I responded, that high priest’s life would be forfeit.

Not because of the lies they’d spouted, but solely because of my reaction upon seeing them.

Diver’s gray eyes, fixed on me with an intensity that seemed determined not to miss even the slightest blink, appeared calm at first glance. But I had known him since he was a child, and I could recognize the subtle signs.

If I said even a single word implying that the high priest had harmed me, Diver would inflict a fate worse than death upon them.

“Where is that high priest now?”

“On the third basement floor.”

“……”

“I’ve already ordered them to be treated with respect, so there’s no need to worry, Tei.”

The sheer absurdity of sending someone to a torture chamber based on mere suspicion made my vision darken. As I clutched my head, Diver quickly pulled me into his arms.

“You’re insane… You’re completely insane… Aren’t you the king?”

Even if he hadn’t tortured the high priest yet, just sending them to such a place was already a massive problem. Imagining the uproar this would cause when the temple found out made me want to faint all over again.

I should get more Amalenia seed powder from Asyan. Since I’d be the one taking it this time, there’d be no need to worry about getting caught, it felt oddly comforting. Damn it.

“I don’t want to be a king in front of you. I just want to be myself.”

This lunatic is human. The king of humans. And because he’s the king, I have to hold back. I mustn’t hit him.

Though his personality was awful, he had always been an excellent king. He only went mad because of me.

Ah.

The root cause was me.

“Teian.”

“…Yes.”

“This time, answer me honestly. Do you know the high priest from Ramanov?”

“I told you, I don’t.”

“Don’t lie.”

“Your Majesty. Please stop. I truly don’t…!”

I let my guard down. Diver pushed my shoulders and forced me back onto the bed. Staring up at him in disbelief, I tried to sit up, but he quickly climbed on top of me. Heavy.