READ NOVEL ONLINE Chapter 4: Chapter 4: “Is It Still a Dungeon if It Has Wi-Fi?”
Kazuya was beginning to suspect that this world had a personal vendetta against him.
First, there were the endless quests that seemed specifically designed to ruin his day. Then, there were his companions: a clumsy goddess who thought every near-death experience was "just part of the fun," and a dragon-girl who alternated between trying to kill him and being vaguely helpful.
And now, they were standing in front of a dungeon entrance shaped like a giant mouth, complete with teeth that occasionally chomped down.
"Why does it look like it's hungry?" Kazuya asked, taking a step back.
"Because it's alive!" Lyria said cheerfully.
"Of course it is," Kazuya muttered. "Why wouldn't it be?"
Mika rolled her eyes. "Stop whining. It's just a dungeon. We go in, get the treasure, and leave."
"Treasure?" Lyria perked up. "Ooh, maybe it's cookies!"
"You're obsessed with cookies," Kazuya said.
"And you're obsessed with complaining," Mika snapped. "Let's go."
The dungeon mouth opened wider, and the group hesitantly stepped inside.
The Dungeon of Weirdness
Inside, the walls were lined with glowing mushrooms that gave off an oddly pleasant smell, like freshly baked bread. Kazuya's stomach growled.
"This place is… surprisingly cozy," he said.
"Don't let your guard down," Mika warned, gripping her spear.
As they ventured deeper, they encountered their first obstacle: a series of tiles on the floor, each marked with a strange symbol.
"It's a puzzle!" Lyria said, clapping her hands.
"I hate puzzles," Kazuya groaned. "What happens if we step on the wrong tile?"
Before anyone could answer, Lyria skipped onto a random tile. A loud boing sound echoed, and she was launched into the air.
"Wheeeeee!" she squealed, landing in a pile of feathers on the other side of the room.
"Well, at least it's not deadly," Kazuya said.
Mika rolled her eyes. "This is ridiculous. Just follow my lead."
She confidently stepped onto a tile, only to trigger a trap that dumped a bucket of glitter on her head.
Kazuya burst out laughing. "Oh my god, you look like a magical disco ball!"
"Shut. Up." Mika growled, her glitter-covered tail twitching menacingly.
The Wi-Fi Mystery
The group eventually made it past the traps and found themselves in a large chamber filled with glowing orbs.
"What are these?" Kazuya asked, picking one up.
A cheerful voice boomed through the room: "Welcome to the Dungeon of Connectivity! Please select your Wi-Fi plan."
"Wi-Fi?!" Kazuya blinked.
Mika frowned. "What's Wi-Fi?"
"It's… It's magic from my world," Kazuya stammered, trying to process what was happening. "But why is it in a fantasy dungeon?!"
Lyria held up an orb. "This one says 'Premium Plan: Unlimited Data and Free Streaming.' Should we get it?"
"Get it?! This isn't a shopping mall!" Kazuya shouted.
Before they could argue further, the floor began to shake.
The Boss Fight
A giant glowing router rose from the ground, wires whipping around like tentacles.
"INTRUDERS DETECTED!" it bellowed. "PREPARE TO FACE THE BANDWIDTH GUARDIAN!"
"You've got to be kidding me," Kazuya muttered.
The router shot a beam of light at Mika, who dodged and counterattacked with her spear.
"Take that, you oversized toaster!" she yelled.
Meanwhile, Lyria was running in circles, shouting, "My orb isn't connecting! I think the password is wrong!"
Kazuya, desperate to contribute, grabbed a random wire and yanked it. The router froze for a moment, then rebooted.
"Did… did I just unplug it?" he asked, baffled.
"Whatever you did, do it again!" Mika shouted.
Kazuya yanked more wires, and the router emitted a final, pitiful beep before collapsing into a pile of scrap.
The Treasure Room
After defeating the Bandwidth Guardian, the group entered the treasure room.
Instead of gold or jewels, they found a vending machine.
"This has to be a joke," Kazuya said, staring at the machine.
Lyria pressed a button, and a can of soda popped out. "Ooh, this is amazing!"
Mika sighed. "I risked my life for this?!"
"Look on the bright side," Kazuya said, taking a sip of the soda. "At least it's cold."
"Bright side?!" Mika snapped, glitter still falling from her hair. "We just fought a glowing box for a can of soda!"
As they argued, Lyria found a glowing scroll labeled "Unlimited Data Plan."
"Look!" she said, holding it up. "It's the real treasure!"
Kazuya stared at it. "If this scroll doesn't come with a free therapist, I don't want it."
The Exit
The group left the dungeon, battered, sticky with soda, and covered in glitter.
"I'm never going in another dungeon again," Kazuya declared.
"You always say that," Mika muttered.
"And I always mean it!"
As they walked away, the dungeon mouth let out a burp and closed behind them.
"Well," Lyria said cheerfully, "that was fun!"
Kazuya stared at her, then at the glitter-covered Mika, and finally at the scroll in his hand.
He sighed. "I hate my life."