I Can Hear the Saint’s Inner Thoughts

32 – Saintess Victoria’s Secret (3)

* * *

Victoria recalled the past while looking at a depiction of her old self. It was a moment when she was being abused before being rescued by the former Pope.

She had been held captive by a demon disguised as the village chief as a child, her parents taken hostage.

Kymira, a demon with rabbit ears and striking red eyes, forcibly starved and deprived Victoria of sleep, and shackled her feet to prevent escape.

– From now on, you’ll use miracles on behalf of Serena and Avyssus. Ultimately, this will make this village prosperous and fertile.

Furthermore, they blackmailed her into offering Victoria’s divine power to the idols of evil gods worshipped in the demon realm.

That was the truth of Briar Hill, the village called the village of miracles, blessed by the Earth Goddess.

– If you disobey, your parents’ illness will not be cured. It’s a rare disease that can only be treated with the medicine I use.

Victoria recalled her parents, whose bodies were swelling in various places due to an unknown illness. They had gone to many doctors and churches, but there had been no improvement.

The demon, in a mad act, had aimed for her mother’s golden dragon horns and scales, blocking the blood vessels in her heart with holy water.

Of course, they had no idea that she would use holy water, which would melt even demons and monsters, so Victoria couldn’t offer any resistance as she watched her parents waste away and die.

– What changes even if you realize now that I’m a demon? In the end, you’re just a pretty doll that can only heed the words of the heavenly gods. You’re nothing but a counterfeit, hardly human.

The demon who had imprisoned Victoria repeatedly adjusted her food and water to the brink of exhaustion, pushing her to the limit of hunger and dehydration.

– Even if a hero comes to save you, no one will love a dirty saintess who hasn’t properly washed in years. So you better wake up from the dream that a fairytale can actually come true.

While constantly spewing abuse and criticism at her, they enjoyed torturing her by plucking or burning the flowers that grew on her body.

– Oh, but don’t worry. Your purity will be taken when you come of age. It’s said that the awakening of a hero usually happens the most at that time, after all?

Saying that she would have the purity that was most important for a saintess taken in the most horrific way later, they erased hope from Victoria’s mind using imagination as despair.

– Well, who knows? Maybe a saintess who has fallen into despair will corrupt herself and become a harlot worshiping evil gods. I think she’s worth the test!

Whether fortunately or unfortunately, Victoria was rescued by the Holy See, who had barely received an oracle from the heavenly god, around the age of 14, before she reached adulthood.

The celestial being said they’d tried countless times to ask for outside help, to protect Victoria, but the evil gods had blocked them.

– Even if I die, you’ll never forget me. That’s just what demons are like. Slightly off the normal range… you crazy humans.

The demon who held Victoria captive, he finally poisoned her parents and laughed like a madman.

Even as his head was severed by the Holy Knights of the Papal State, his mouth was still stretched into a grin—a sight she could never forget.

—

– You’re the Saintess of this generation, then.

Cold eyes slowly scanned Victoria. A man, perched on a high chair, looked at her askew, his face etched with worry.

Unbecoming of a Pope, his body was a mass of scars and muscles, a middle-aged man.

– Those sons of b*tches, those demons… what the hell kind of madness were they inflicting on such a young child…?

He growled, cursing, as he looked at Victoria’s state. His name was Raphael Arkellius.

He was the one who moved the Knights after hearing the celestial being’s oracle and saved Victoria, and also the former Pope who was poisoned by the Lich.

– It’s my fault the rescue was late, I’m truly sorry… I am. It should be an adult’s job to save a child.

Raphael showed Victoria deep respect, banging his head hard against the floor. Seeing the blood dripping from his forehead, she gauged the Pope’s personality.

– There won’t be any more pain or sadness. As long as I’m here, there will be no more need to overdo the miracles either.

Raphael’s face was rugged and scarred, but his voice clearly tried its best not to be intimidating.

– …….

Victoria, who had lost her parents and had no home to return to, chose to live in the Holy Nation of Aurelium from that day on.

– Thank you for trusting me. Young Saintess.

He smelled of alcohol, slightly drunk, but seeing as he had saved her from that hellhole, she figured he couldn’t be a bad person.

—

Several years passed since then. Victoria led a peaceful life under the shadow of the former Pope.

Although, when she underwent treatment to prolong her life, she gritted her teeth and endured the pain as they slowly removed the flowers.

Although there were rumblings from the elders of the Papal State that they couldn’t revere someone as sickly as Victoria as a Saintess.

– What? You’re worried because you can’t refuse the people asking you to use your miracles as a Saintess?

Victoria even confided such worries to Raphael. She was starting to find some peace of mind.

– Hmmmmm….

For her, who had lost her parents, the only person who could replace them was Raphael, the Pope.

However,

– Then, how about deliberately spewing venom so they won’t approach you easily and keep their distance?

Raphael wasn’t a very good educator. The aptitude for teaching and learning might seem similar, but they were completely different things.

– Look at me. People think I’m just a drunken, foul-mouthed old geezer and nobody messes with me, right?

Like Raphael said, instead of being called Pope, he was often called a madman, or a sly snake, or a viper of the Holy Kingdom, all kinds of insults.

– If you live like that, the people who are worth something will eventually want to stay by your side, and the ones who want to use you will stay far away.

He had been a knight in his youth, burdened by guilt for killing a child under his superior’s orders, and he spoke about his own past.

– I used to live like a stray dog, and a priest saved my life, so that’s that.

That’s how Raphael quit being a knight and became a priest of the Holy Kingdom.

He loved his booze and his mouth was always crude, so his peers often told him, “If you rise to a high position, the world will end.”

– And yet, I became Pope, and I’ve been able to hold on to this position because of my personality. Saint.

Raphael gave this advice to Victoria, and it became the reason why she treated people she liked coldly later on.

– Can’t I stop drinking? Well, that’s a bit of a tough request. Dealing with the old fogeys of the Papal See tends to get on my nerves…

Raphael always carried a bottle like a lover, and he was poisoned by Porcus III, who coveted his position, because of his love of drinking.

– The day dirt goes in my eyes is probably the day I stop drinking. Sorry.

The reason Victoria viewed Astal’s drinking so negatively was entirely due to the trauma of that poisoning.

—

After the death of the former Pope Raphael, Victoria wore a mask to hide her emotions from others.

– Saintess, please, I beg you! My father is dying! Please, the cost of the medicine…

She saw a foolish son digging up his already dead father’s corpse in the cemetery to get gold coins.

– My mom told me to make this wish. She said if I ask the Saintess, you’ll grant me anything!

She encountered parents trying to make a profit by using their child, for their own wealth and glory.

– Aren’t you supposed to be the one who follows the will of the Heavenly God? Then why are you ignoring miserable people like me…?

There were even shameless people pretending to be sick, or wanting to catch a disease to have their youthful bodies back.

– Saintess, it’s a pleasure to meet you…!

Among them, the worst were the newly appointed Pope Porcus III and the Holy Knights.

They would constantly leer at her chest, secretly steal her robes, and even attempt to cut them with scissors, all kinds of crazy things.

There was no one who could protect Victoria then. After the death of the former Pope, her influence was gradually fading.

– Saintess! Here is a new habit! The youngest knight of our order spilled sewage on the last one by mistake….

As the endless overbearing harassment and requests continued, an incident finally crossed the line with Victoria.

The original habit she wore was supposed to minimize exposure of her body, including her hair.

– How is it? They say it’s the latest trend in the system! If you wear this, the number of people who apply to join our Holy Knights will increase…!”

The Pope had prepared a habit with various holes and thinner material, making her body visible.

“…What did you just say? All I hear is a squealing, rutting boar.”

Victoria, watching it, reached the limit of her patience and, for the first time, unleashed a string of curses, maintaining a stance like this one.

—

“Seeing this, it reminds me of the day I first joined the hero party.”

Victoria glanced at Astal’s jawline as he acted like her fake lover beside her.

How could a person be so handsome?

Even with the rose-tinted glasses on, his looks were objectively top-tier.

“I distinctly remember what you said back then…”

“…Couldn’t you just forget about that now?”

“You said that you’d lived a life that would disappear in the blink of an eye and that you’d wanted to meet me, the famously merciful, right? Yes, I remember it clearly.”

Thinking about it now, the magic Astal had cast wasn’t actually a shower of flower petals.

Victoria knew, after fighting alongside him in many battles, that he could use magic without chanting.

“I think it was quite clever of you to fabricate that lie in order to use a ‘help’ spell.”

Victoria imagined how hard Astal had racked his brain to come up with an excuse.

Flowers blooming on his body had been due to cause and effect, not a curse.

It was only natural that it hadn’t had any effect.

“…No? What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m certain because of the magic you just used. I felt that same tingle run through my hand back then too.”

Victoria’s lips kept curving upwards. A powerful emotion that surged from deep within her was coloring her cheeks crimson.

“If it really was a spell to summon flower petals, you wouldn’t have needed to hold my hand, would you?”

Thump, thump.

Her heart was racing, and she felt a suffocating sensation as if she couldn’t breathe.

‘To keep such a crucial fact a secret, you really do have a cute side…’

Victoria even realized that this tightness in her chest was just another name for love.

“I’d even forgive you if you stuck your fingers between my breasts right now. This kind of golden opportunity comes only once in a lifetime, so think carefully about it.”

“…Would I be crazy to do that?!”

Victoria, slightly varying her usual way of doing things, was expressing her feelings without any regard for boundaries.

“Aww, you’re just a scaredy-cat, aren’t you? Don’t you want a generous older sister to repay you with her body?”

“No, thank you. I absolutely can’t stand older women. And I’m not into younger women in the first place.”

“…Since it’s a fake relationship anyway, why don’t you try changing those warped preferences of yours for once?”

“What’s wrong with my taste….”

The reason she wasn’t being cold to people she liked anymore was because the reason for it had vanished.

The whole terminal illness thing was resolved, and her stagnant romantic life was finally moving forward.

‘Well, that’s part of why I like you so much, Astal.’

Victoria hugged Astal’s arm tightly to her chest again, and together they spent time looking around the perimeter of the Forbidden Archives.

“This is…?”

They came face to face with a mural depicting eleven gods fighting against something.