I Don’t Want to be a Villainess

What is trust?

After becoming Sara’s dedicated maid, Yang Hye-in seriously contemplated the word “trust” several times.

To believe in someone means thinking that they won’t deceive you and won’t do bad things to you. You don’t think they will steal your belongings or snatch them away. You don’t assume they’ll hit you or threaten you.

In terms of direct violence, there was at least a minimal trust established between Yang Hye-in and Sara. Sara never considered Yang Hye-in to be scary. Sometimes it felt as if she had forgotten she was there, but at least Sara never flinched at any of Yang Hye-in’s actions. In fact, Yang Hye-in had never carelessly touched Sara’s body.

However, in other respects, it wasn’t the same.

There was no surveillance. If there was strange behavior, no one would snitch. No other personnel would follow from a distance to prevent escape. Privacy was respected, and occasionally they were treated warmly.

Yang Hye-in did none of that.

So, if “trust” means “believing that someone definitely won’t cause you harm,” then Yang Hye-in could not claim to have gained Sara’s trust.

Yet, sometimes Yang Hye-in found herself—well—under some kind of “misconception” thinking she had obtained a certain level of trust.

Sara was almost always in a monitored position, but that didn’t mean she had no personal time. Assuming she used no communication devices, Sara could close her door and spend personal time.

No one knew what happened in there. If there was a loud noise from inside, it could be heard outside, but Sara rarely made loud sounds when alone.

Even though the entire mansion was in Sara’s name, the only place where she could truly relax was inside her room. This was a sanctuary that even the chairwoman forbade anyone to disturb. The reason Sara, who usually felt such pressure from all sides, hadn’t completely broken down was probably because of this minimal safety net.

A tranquil space completely devoid of anyone bothering her. At least that was what Yang Hye-in thought until now.

After spending some time inside her room, when Sara came out, her expression looked significantly lighter. When she was really in a good mood, she would occasionally speak to her maid. Of course, those conversations were rarely anything heartwarming. Most times, they consisted of short words that were barely audible. The best she did was check the schedule. Depending on how she let her words trail off, it sometimes sounded formal or casual.

Whenever Sara, who was almost always in a feeble, doll-like state, showed such expressions, a fleeting thought crossed Yang Hye-in’s mind: maybe I do trust her. Looking back now, it was an absurd thought.

Yeah, the fact that such thoughts crossed her mind could perhaps be due to the affection she had developed for Sara over the years.

Though she was an abnormal child in an abnormal environment, she was still pretty and kind. There had never been a time when she drove Yang Hye-in crazy by not listening. Even being in a position as her employer, she never made unreasonable demands. She didn’t insult or speak ill of others, and Yang Hye-in had never even seen her grumbling to someone. Well, it couldn’t be helped since Sara usually did not speak at all.

Humans naturally want to protect the pitiable beings in front of them. Sara was undoubtedly such a pitiable existence.

…And Yang Hye-in was one of those tormenting that pitiable existence in such a bone-chilling and terrible way.

*

…It was still early March, so the night air was cold.

The coat draped over her maid outfit was quite warm, but her hands and face exposed to the air couldn’t help but get cold.

Honestly, standing outside in a polite maid pose in front of the main door and waiting for hours was an excruciating task.

“Uhm, Yang Hye-in-nim, the night air is chilly. Wouldn’t it be better to wait inside the mansion and come out when we call you?”

One of the security guards stationed at the entrance spoke to Yang Hye-in like that.

All the personnel in this mansion, including the guards, never spoke to Sara. That was the rule. Only the maids directly attending to Sara had the right to talk to her or make suggestions. In fact, this was not included in the contract; it was merely an “avoid unnecessary conversation” clause.

But in order to help Sara, who seemed utterly clueless about initiating conversation, the personnel needed to keep asking questions. Things she needed, didn’t need, wanted to do now, didn’t want to do. After asking several times, Sara would finally express her intentions with a nod or shake of her head.

“…….”

“Yang Hye-in-nim?”

The guard called out Yang Hye-in’s name once more.

“It’s fine.”

When Yang Hye-in replied like that, the guard eventually closed his mouth and did not suggest again.

Unlike other personnel who had hardly spoken with Sara, Yang Hye-in was irreplaceable because she expressed some opinions. Thus, among the personnel with no defined hierarchy, she was the only one who couldn’t be treated carelessly. Furthermore, Yang Hye-in was responsible for periodically reporting to the chairwoman.

Once again, a brisk wind brushed against Yang Hye-in’s cheek.

Yesterday, she had been waiting inside the mansion until she received a report before stepping outside. While Sara had been missing, it wasn’t a big deal. In truth, the staff had already figured out her whereabouts. Someone had been trailing her from a distance. The same thing would happen today. Whether Sara noticed or not, who could tell?

‘Did you report to the chairwoman?’

Was that question because she already knew that fact? If so, then what was the reason for jumping the wall today? If she knew someone would be following her, there was no need to act like she was sneaking away. Was it some sort of protest, maybe?

Sara had said she was out there walking with those “friends” again today.

Since she had figured out her location, it wouldn’t have been a big issue to wait inside the mansion like yesterday and come out once Sara returned.

However.

However, Yang Hye-in wanted to see for herself.

She wanted to know why Sara had to go over there again today, and felt she might find a clue by looking at Sara’s face as she chatted with those “friends.”

*

“Hey, see you tomorrow.”

That was the expression of Sara’s face Yang Hye-in had never seen before. Ah, of course, she had seen it on others. It was the expression of people who were sad to part after spending joyful times with friends but were hopeful about seeing each other again. It was the expression of someone living life with at least minimal hope.

It was just that she had never seen that expression on Sara’s face before.

She had seen her smile yesterday, but it was surprising to see her parting naturally with friends like that.

It wasn’t that Yang Hye-in had never imagined Sara making friends. She just hadn’t imagined such a natural smile on her.

Well, she’d thought she would be a bit more obsessive about it.

A person who finally holds onto something they have wished for their entire life would fear it slipping through their fingers. They’d struggle to keep it at all costs.

However, Ye Sara seemed to treat those newfound friends like just ordinary kids.

…She must clearly remember the things that happened in her childhood.

“Did you wait long?”

As she neared the mansion, Sara suddenly asked that.

“……Huh?”

“How long did you wait?”

Her question was clear and unmistakable.

“……I didn’t wait long.”

When Yang Hye-in answered, Sara narrowed her eyes and looked up at her face.

“There’s no need to wait outside if I’m going to be late from now on.”

“……I will keep that in mind.”

Yang Hye-in said as she slightly lowered her head.

The mansion door opened. The warmth that had been filling the inside spilled out.

“I will take your outer garment.”

In the lobby, Yang Hye-in said that and naturally took Sara’s coat off her.

“Did you report to the chairwoman?”

After handing over the coat, Sara turned around and looked up at Yang Hye-in as she always did and asked.

“…….”

Yang Hye-in hesitated a bit. Was it something she really should mention?

Sara stared at Yang Hye-in’s expression for a while, then shrugged her shoulders and turned her body away. A gesture that showed she wasn’t really concerned. A nonchalant sign, suggesting she likely expected that a report had been made anyway.

“I did not report.”

In that moment, Yang Hye-in blurted out her answer.

Sara, who had been turning away, suddenly halted. Then slowly, as if rewinding, her body turned back toward Yang Hye-in.

The expression on Sara’s face was distinctly one of surprise. In fact, if another personnel had seen that expression, they might express even more shock than Sara herself. It was because Sara was that expressionless.

“You didn’t report?”

Sara asked again to confirm, and Yang Hye-in nodded.

“No. I did not report. Neither yesterday nor today.”

Sara’s eyes widened even more.

“Why…?”

Sara asked earnestly, as if in genuine puzzlement.

Well, why was that?

The decision had been made impulsively.

She sensed that Sara had changed suddenly. She was fully aware that a relationship had developed, one that never existed before.

Yet, for some reason, Yang Hye-in didn’t want to report it.

Why was that?

Perhaps.

Perhaps it was because of that unpretentious smile she had first seen on Sara’s face.

Just for a moment, she wanted that expression to last a little longer.

As she gazed at the unexpectedly round eyes of Sara, which she had seen for the first time after staying by her side for years, Yang Hye-in thought that.

---