I’m the dungeon master

“uuuuugh… my head.”

-What the hell is going on?-

I open my eyes to see a stone ceiling with water dripping from multiple places, like ancient buildings.

-Wait, how did I know what this looked like?-

That’s when I started to panic a little, after I realized I didn’t remember anything about myself or where I was, so I tried to get up as fast as possible.

-fuck, my body is so damn stiff and sore-

I got up, and while I was rubbing my back, I looked around to see a kneeling man right behind me.

This man had black hair that looked like it was shining in the dark. He wore a long red dress with black stripes. I couldn't see his face, but I felt like he was very handsome and had muscles that could tremble nations. Wait, no, forget about that, I'm straight.

I didn’t move; I just kept looking at him. I mean, the situation was a little weird. Wait, this should be scary.

After a minute or two of awkward silence, "umm, hello... can you hear me?"

I started to wave, even though his head was looking down; he didn't appear to be able to see me or hear me.

Is this guy sleeping?

"uuuuuuuuugh"

My head is at it again.

The panic just returned.

I have no idea who or where I’m; there is a weird guy who is probably ignoring me and playing deft; I have a killing headache; I’m naked; the floor is wet, my back is all sticky, and I need to get the fuck out of here.

Wait I'm naked, I covered myself with my hands while looking at the kneeling man accusatory.

I started to look around frantically. It’s an ancient room. All the walls are made of old stone with rays of light going through the stone ceiling and wall, with an arch exit, and guess who is kneeling with his back toward the exit.

What do you think I’m afraid of you? Just because you are kneeling there, you think I won’t leave.
That is when I gathered my courage and started to move toward the exit very, very slowly, sneakily, with my back and hands stuck on the wall, moving slowly, my eyes squinting, and trying my best not to wake up whomever this guy is.

And that is when I started to hear a chick’s voice in my head.
<welcome dungeon master>
<to start the dungeon master system, please assign a nickname and a dungeon name.>

I stood there in another minute or two of silence, water dropping from the roof, my eyes squinting not because of thinking or contemplation but because I couldn’t move a single fucking muscle, not even my eyes.

I tried my best to move myself, my eyes, or even my breath, but I couldn't. With anger, I said in my head, Nickname, you want a nickname? Go fuck yourself.

<nickname assigned: you want a nickname, go fuck yourself.>

....

That was when I had the feeling that I'd done something idiotic.

Okay, I need to calm down. There's no reason to get agitated; it’s just my inability to fucking move or breathe that got me a little annoyed, plus even though I'm not breathing, I'm not feeling uncomfortable, just a weird feeling.

With a mental sigh, I thought, Okay, whatever this system is, it told me to assign a nickname, and it appears that I already assigned it somehow; what else did the system want? Oh yeah, dungeon name, how do I assign it anyway?

<Dungeon name assigned: 'how do I assign it anyway'>

.........

-fuck-

"Huh"

I can move again.

I took a deep breath. Oh, breathing, how much I missed you.

<Dungeon master system is active. Welcome. 'You want a nickname? Go fuck yourself' You are one of the 4,246 dungeon masters assigned to planet Earth.

<time has stopped for planet Earth for the next 71H:55M:23S>

<Please use this time to probably prepare for the dungeon 'how do I assign it anyway' invasion.

<to design your dungeon and for any questions, please call the system.

...............

Okay, I feel like I have to ask this:

"Umm... system, can you hear me?"

<Yes, 'you want a nickname, go fuck yourself'>

"Uh, would it be possible for me to change my nickname, please?"

< 'you want a nickname, go fuck yourself' can change the nickname within 71H:53M:52S; afterword, changing the nickname will have a special requirement.

Well, that's a relief. Wait, wasn't I planning to leave?

I turned my head to the kneeling guys to see him looking directly at me with his blue eyes. My heart skipped a beat, and before I knew it, he started talking.

"Master, I've been waiting for your awakening."

-shit this handsome... I mean, freak is talking.-

After a couple of seconds. "Umm... hello, who are you, though?"

The kneeling man answers, "I'm your servant, master."

..........

"Uh okay"

This is a little awkward. Should I ask him about this place? I mean, I could ask the system; I think it’s more reliable. Ah, screw it. It will be more awkward if I ignore him and start speaking with the system in my head.

……….

--fuck, I am butt naked.

I gave a side look at this man, whom I called a freak, covering my genitals, with a blush I started talking to the system.

System: I need clothes fast.

<dungeon master system has multiple clothing options for 'you want a nickname, go fuck yourself'; please select...

Shut the fuck up and get me anything.

This is so embarrassing.

Out of nowhere, with a flash, I was wearing... A tightly fit boxer...

What the fuck?

-ahhh, fuck this, let’s just go with it-

I looked at the knelling man while he was looking back at me. I composed myself and lifted my chin slightly.

He calls me master, so I need to have the dignity of a master.

"You don't need to keep kneeling; you can get up."

He looked at me for a couple of seconds, then slowly got up, his long hair moving along with the air like a calm ocean wave. I was speechless for a moment, not because of how hot he is, but because there was no air drift. Is this guy trying to look cool?

"So what is this place?"

He answered me, "This is your dungeon master."

-Okay, I think this guy is a little useless.-

"I see, thanks."

"You are welcome, master."

This guy doesn’t understand sarcasm, and he really shouldn't say master; it’s just uncomfortable.

Okay, system, what is this place?

<this is a dungeon, 'how do I assign it anyway'>

Okay, system, pretend that I'm a 3-year-old toddler and tell me where I am.

<You are currently in the 'how do I assign it anyway' dungeon of 'you want a nickname, go fuck yourself' who believes himself to be a 3-year-old toddler.

........

-Okay, maybe I should be more specific.-

What is this room system?

<This is the admin room for 'you want a nickname, go fuck yourself'.

With a sigh, we are finally getting somewhere.

What is an admin room system?

<The admin room is where the dungeon master and some of his selected subordinates live; it’s also known as the boss room for invaders, 'you want a nickname, go fuck yourself' can't exit this room unless he loses his title as dungeon master.>

Wait, boss, room??? And I can’t leave it??? Let’s test something. -

"Uh...."

Shit, what should I call him?

"Hi dude"

Fuck, I should act like a big shot. I can't just say, dude.

"Yes master"

I guess he doesn't care.

"You don't have to keep calling me master."

He looked at me for a while, then slowly said, "Then how should I address you?"

Wait, what is my name? Uh, system, why don't I remember anything?

<parts of 'you want a nickname, go fuck yourself' memory have been erased to perform perfectly.

"WHAT!!!"

The man gave me a weird look and said, "Understand, sir, what?"

Wait, no, fuck, I'm done with these misunderstandings. "Don't call me what; you know, just forget it. Call me master for now. Tell me, can you leave this room?"

Dignity out of the window, I guess.

The man gave me a weird look and said, "Yes, master."

Okay, good, "Then can you go out and tell me what is outside this room?"

He replied, "I don't need to master; the only thing outside is your dungeon, as its entrance is closed. Although it’s still small, I know you can build it to become one of the world's greatest dungeons."

So this guy knows about my dungeon. "Alright, do you know what its layout is?"

He replied, "Currently, there are only 2 rooms connected by a long hallway and a short hallway that connect to the staircase behind me."

He finished while pointing at the staircase.

I see, so he doesn't know the names of the rooms. "So I guess you mean this is the 3rd room, right?"

He answered, "Yes, master, this is the admin room."

....

Then why the fuck didn't you say that when I asked you?

I said, "Alright, do you know anything about the system?"

I mean, getting answers from him might be better.

He said, "Of course everyone has their own system; as you have the dungeon master system."

Okay, it’s a good thing that I'm not the only one with a system.

"Alright, and what is required from me as a dungeon master?"

He answered with a grave tone, "like every other dungeon master, to recruit and strengthen your subordinates, defend the dungeon, expand the dungeon, then exterminate humanity of earth and become the one and only dungeon master." At the end, his tone and eyes were so fanatical that it gave me chills.

-system, will this guy hurt me?-

<unnamed assistant can’t hurt; 'you want a nickname, go fuck yourself' as he is an assigned assistant.

-a silver lining to everything.-

I looked at his fanatical face again.

"COOL"