Intelligent Design: A Monster Evolution LitRPG

The cavernous expanse of the Burrow echoed with a cacophony of confused groans, startled yelps, and the incessant chirping of overexcited Cuddlebugs. Shadows danced across the rough-hewn walls, cast by the dim bioluminescent fungi that dotted the ceiling. In one particularly shadowy spot, clinging to the rocky surface like some nightmarish gargoyle, David sulked.

His wings twitched irritably as he watched the chaos unfold below. Dozens of newly transformed creatures stumbled about, each more bizarre than the last. A creature that looked like a cross between a hedgehog and a armadillo bumped into what appeared to be a lemur of some kind, causing both to recoil in alarm. Nearby, a being with far too many eyes and not nearly enough limbs struggled to coordinate its movements, tripping over itself and rolling irritably onto its side.

And in the midst of it all, the Cuddlebugs swarmed.

Led by the ever-zealous Captain, the furry horde had taken it upon themselves to "care" for the new arrivals. Their methods, while well-intentioned, left much to be desired.

A particularly ambitious group had cornered a bewildered ox-like creature, frantically licking its hide clean with their tiny tongues. The poor thing looked utterly baffled, unsure whether to be terrified or grateful for the impromptu grooming session.

Across the cavern, another cluster of Cuddlebugs engaged in a frantic game of herding. They darted between the legs of the larger creatures, chirping insistently and nipping at heels to guide their charges away from perceived dangers. The fact that these "dangers" seemed to exist only in the Cuddlebugs' collective imagination did little to deter their enthusiasm.

David's eyes narrowed as he caught sight of a small, mouse-like creature inching towards one of the tunnels leading to the surface. Before he could intervene, a living chain of Cuddlebugs sprang into action. They linked wings and tails, forming a furry barricade that blocked the tunnel entrance. When the mouse-creature tried to push through, the Cuddlebugs let out a chorus of high-pitched squeaks that made David’s teeth itch.

With startling coordination, the chain of Cuddlebugs surged forward. They enveloped the tiny monster, literally dragging it back into the depths of the Burrow. Their triumphant chirps echoed off the walls, no doubt congratulating themselves on saving another "infant" from certain doom.

David groaned, torn between exasperation and a grudging admiration for their dedication. He knew he should put a stop to this madness, but a part of him hesitated. Every moment spent dealing with this circus was another moment not spent searching for Claire.

Claire.

The thought of her sent a fresh wave of anxiety coursing through him.

Where was she? What had happened during her last-second evolution attempt? Was she okay? The questions swirled in his mind like a toxic whirlpool, threatening to drag him under.

He wanted nothing more than to spread his wings and take off. To follow the faint directional sense of the Pack System out into the world until he found her. But he couldn't. Not yet. Claire would never forgive him if he abandoned these people – hell, he'd never forgive himself.

So here he was, clinging to the ceiling like the overgrown bat he was, watching as his summons ran amok in a misguided attempt to help.

The mouse-creature's indignant cursing as it was forcibly cuddled finally snapped David out of his brooding. With a mental command that crackled with irritation, he recalled the Cuddlebugs.

The effect was instantaneous. Every fuzzy head in the cavern snapped to attention, tiny ears perked. As one, they abandoned their self-appointed tasks and surged towards David's hiding spot. The new arrivals watched in bewilderment as the swarm of fluffballs disappeared into the shadows of the ceiling.

For a moment, silence reigned. Then, as eyes adjusted to the gloom, gasps of recognition and fear rippled through the crowd. David saw the exact moment they spotted him – pupils dilated, muscles tensed, fight-or-flight instincts kicking into overdrive.

Before full-blown panic could set in, several voices rang out in unison.

"Don't panic!" barked a creature that looked like a wooly bulldog. "That's David – he's the one who guided us here!"

"Yeah," chittered something that might have been a raccoon in a past life, if raccoons had six legs and venomous stingers. "He saved our asses out there!"

The tension in the room ratcheted up a notch as heated debate broke out. Some defended David, while others eyed him warily, unconvinced by secondhand accounts of heroism.

David sighed, knowing he couldn't stay on the sidelines any longer. A memory flashed through his mind – the vision of the "Big Boss Bat" he'd seen when absorbing the Royal Bloodline.

Well, if it worked for that guy...

With deliberate slowness, David released his grip on the ceiling. He plummeted towards the ground, eliciting gasps and cries of alarm from the crowd below. At the last possible second, he snapped his wings open. The resounding WHOMP of displaced air echoed through the cavern as David touched down with feline grace.

Standing tall, David consciously fought against his instinct to blend into the shadows. He drew himself up to his full height, wings folded in a display that was equal parts regal and intimidating.

To his shock – and hidden delight – it worked. The arguing ceased immediately, replaced by a hush of what could only be described as awed respect. Even those who had been eyeing him fearfully moments before seemed to relax, as if recognizing a voice of reason.

David allowed himself a moment of satisfaction before speaking. When he did, his voice carried the weight of command, tinged with a hint of that otherworldly allure that had guided so many to safety the night before.

"Welcome to Woodland," he began, surveying the motley assortment of monsters before him. "I know you're scared, confused, and probably more than a little pissed off. Trust me, I've been exactly where you are."

He paused, letting his words sink in. The silence that followed was expectant, almost reverent. David fought back a grin, marveling at how well this act was working.

Guess I owe that bat from the vision a beer or something. Good trick.

"But you're not alone," he continued. "We're all in this together, and we're going to figure it out. So…let's start with the basics. Who's hungry?"

David's subtle smile was met with a chorus of tentative nods from the newly pacified hatchlings. As the Cuddlebugs drifted down from the ceiling like a furry snowfall, he felt a familiar weight settle behind his head. Captain, claimed his perch of honor, fuzzy body vibrating with contentment.

The sight of their nightmarish guide being used as a glorified cat tree drew a few surprised chuckles from the crowd. The sound echoed off the cavern walls, a stark contrast to the earlier tension that had filled the air like Miasma.

Mental gears turning, David filed away this unexpected development.

The Team is a hit? Definitely gonna remember that. It's gotta be hard to maintain an aura of pants-shitting terror when you're covered in creatures that look like they escaped from a kawaii fever dream.

"Alright, you ragtag band of evolutionary rejects," David announced, his voice still carrying that hint of otherworldly allure, "let's get some fresh air and figure out our next move before someone decides to sprout gills or something equally inconvenient."

The hatchlings stared back at him in horror, and the lemurs tiny hands shooting to its neck in panic.

"That…that was a joke. Stuff like that only ever happens when you…you know what? Just follow me, someone else can explain that better. Probably.”

As they emerged into the mid-morning sun, David blinked away the cobwebs of his earlier catnap. The world outside was a jarring blend of familiar and alien for the newcomers. The grass beneath their feet (claws, hooves, or other assorted appendages) pulsed with a life of its own, each blade seeming to reach hungrily towards the sky.

A glint of metal high above caught David's eye. Kai circled overhead like some bizarre type of security camera. His wings caught the sunlight, sending bright reflections dancing across the landscape of Woodland Park below.

David flared his wings in greeting, dislodging a few surprised Cuddlebugs in the process. Kai's answering cry was a piercing note that seemed to vibrate through David's very bones.

Turning back to his charges, David watched as they continued to fumble their way out of the Burrow. The exit quickly became a bottleneck of limbs, appendages, and grumpy noises. It was like watching the world's weirdest clown car routine, if clowns were replaced by rejects from the zoo.

"Hold up," David called out, his voice tinged with equal parts amusement and exasperation. "Smaller folks first, big guys bring up the rear. Let's avoid any accidental squishing, shall we? I'd hate to have to explain to whatever passes for OSHA these days why we've got pancake monsters on our hands."

To his surprise, he spotted the wooly bulldog from earlier, now assisting a limbless creature up the tunnel. The unlikely pair seemed to be getting along, chatting amiably as they navigated the incline. The scene triggered an unbidden memory of him and Claire, sharing fruit beneath a sprawling tree. The recollection hit him like a sucker punch to the gut, all the sharper for its sweetness.

The pang of worry that followed was a physical thing, a cold tendril of dread that wrapped around his heart and squeezed. His concentration slipped, fur rippling with camouflage as his scent spiked with sudden anger and fear. It was like someone had uncorked a bottle of eau de nightmare, and several nearby hatchlings jumped as if they'd been electrocuted.

Before the situation could spiral into a full-blown panic, a familiar figure trotted over. Ezra, his massive form as impressive as ever, approached with a questioning look. His steps almost seemed to shake the ground as he approached, but David knew it was just the sheer solidity the man radiated at work.

"Everything alright here, David?" the Yak-like creature rumbled, his voice like gravel in a cement mixer. "Or are we about to have our very first mosh pit?"

David shook off his momentary lapse, forcing a grin that was only slightly manic. "Just a bunch of hangry abominations in need of some grub, my man. Thought we'd sort out some food before they start eyeing each other as potential snacks."

Ezra snorted, sounding like a steam engine. "Makes sense. Alright, listen up! I'm Ezra, I handle the day-to-day around here. Which means I'm the one who'll be kicking your collective asses if you start any trouble. How about I take over and get you all sorted?"

To David's shock, several of the new arrivals protested immediately, their voices a cacophony of growls, squeaks, and warbles.

"But... having David here makes us feel safe," one piped up, its voice reminiscent of a kazoo being played underwater.

David blinked, caught so off guard he nearly dislodged Captain. "It... does?"

The speaker nodded fervently, all seven of its eyes focused intently on David. "I mean, yeah. Look at you! Nothing in its right mind would be stupid enough to mess with us while you're around."

David and Ezra exchanged a look, both fighting to suppress amused snorts. The logic was hard to argue with.

What am I, the world's most terrifying security blanket? Can't really blame them, they're handling it pretty well considering…too well, actually. Weirdly well, now that I think about it. Is it just because they had other people to explain it to them or–

"Fair enough," Ezra conceded, his massive shoulders rising in a shrug that could have caused minor earthquakes. "David, mind tagging along while I show these walking identity crises to the food stores? Try not to traumatize them too much, yeah?"

As they made their way to the river and farmlands, David couldn't help but notice how the newcomers kept glancing his way, as if seeking approval for every move.

It was like being followed by the world's weirdest, most diverse group of ducklings. A suspicion began to form in his mind, tickling at the edges of his consciousness. Was his Royal Bloodline acting up, or had he somehow been promoted to 'Mom Friend' for a bunch of freshly-hatched monsters?

The thought was so absurd, so utterly at odds with his nightmarish appearance, that David had to bite back a burst of hysterical laughter.

Because really, in a world gone mad, why shouldn't the scariest thing around be the one making sure everyone gets their veggies and plays nice?

Ezra efficiently divided the group into herbivores, carnivores, and a "hard to tell" category the moment they arrived at their improvised farms. As the hatchlings followed his directions and began to dig in with gusto (amid loud complaints from the carnivores about raw meat and the distinct lack of barbecue sauce), David pulled Ezra aside.

"Is this…manageable?" he asked quietly, gesturing to the feeding frenzy that looked like a NatGeo special directed by Tom Burtin. "Or are we one bad day away from becoming an all-you-can-eat buffet for whatever comes knocking?"

Ezra's deep rumble carried a note of concern that made David's fur stand on end. "Not even close, kid. This isn't even the biggest group we've got. The Arena's back to being temporary housing. Herold’s busy digging a whole new Burrow. At this rate, we'll have more tunnels than a colony of prairie dogs."

David winced, his wings rustling nervously as his ears flattened down. "How many are we talking here? Ballpark figure, preferably one that won't give me an aneurysm."

"We've at least doubled our population overnight," Ezra replied grimly with a swish of his tail. "More likely tripled. And we're still finding stragglers. It's like someone took Noah's Ark, crashed it into a genetics lab, and decided to play 52 pickup with the results."

Before David could process this information, he noticed the Cuddlebugs practically vibrating with stress. Their tiny eyes were fixed on the river, pupils dilated to the point of being comical. The proximity of so many "infants" to the water was clearly more than their fuzzy little brains could handle.

With a mental shrug that screamed 'what's the worst that could happen?', David gave them free rein.

The furry swarm exploded into action like someone had set off a bomb filled with hamsters. They swooped up and down the riverfront, hissing and chirping in a symphony of protective agitation. Some formed living barriers between the hatchlings and the water's edge, while others seemed to be attempting to intimidate the river itself into submission.

"Ten bucks says one of them tries to fight a fish before the day's out," David muttered, equal parts amused and resigned.

A sound like an angry, bass-boosted weed eater suddenly cut through the air. David's ears perked up, recognizing Dallas's distinctive wing buzz. Pushing aside a flash of bug-related trauma that threatened to send him into a full-blown PTSD, he turned and waved enthusiastically.

Dallas appeared over the treeline, a blob of motion that resolved itself into his familiar, if creepy, form. Kai was close behind, his metallic feathers catching the sun in a display that forced David to squint a bit.

As Dallas and Kai landed, David's eyes were drawn to something odd. Etched into their body was a pattern that reminded him of a shell – an almost perfect spiral.

The mark, roughly the size of a silver dollar, sat just below their left ‘shoulders’. The spiral began with a bold, sweeping curve that tapered to a fine point at its center, each coil a slightly darker shade than their natural coloration.

On Dallas, the spiral was a deeper hue of his exoskeleton's blue, the edges seeming to catch the light. On Kai, it appeared as if someone had carefully etched the pattern into his metallic feathers, each line a burnished version of his natural sheen.

Despite the vast differences in their forms, the mark was undeniably the same on both of them.

That's new. What the hell?

"Well, well," David called out, his eyes fixed on the curious markings. "Looks like you two got some fancy new ink while I was out. Wait a second..." His brow furrowed as a hazy memory surfaced through the fog of recent events. "Is that the other reward from the end of Wave 1? The Mutagen?"

Dallas buzzed his wings, the sound carrying a hint of amusement. "Took you long enough to notice, bat-brain. Yeah, this little beauty is courtesy of our Wave 1 survival package. What, you forget to check your mail or something?"

Kai, obviously tired but happy to be present, cocked his head in a way that somehow conveyed both ‘I'm too cool for this conversation’ and ‘I have no idea what's happening, but I refuse to admit it.’ Then, with a dry tone that could have dehydrated a cactus, he quipped, "What, you mean this isn't standard issue for badasses? I thought it was part of the uniform."

David blinked, momentarily taken aback. Between the chaos of waking up, absorbing another Shard, and the acid trip that followed, he'd completely forgotten about the other reward. "I, uh... I might have been a bit distracted," he admitted sheepishly.

"Yeah…we, uh.” Kai’s feathers slicked down worriedly. "We’d guessed. Have a minute to talk? We’re worried about Claire too.”

As the trio stood there, David couldn't help but feel a swell of... something. Pride? Camaraderie? The beginning of a truly epic migraine? Whatever it was, it was almost enough to drown out the constant, gnawing worry about Claire.

Almost.

Wave 2 had crashed over them like a tsunami of weirdness, and they were still just doggy-paddling in the shallows.