Jörmungandr

"What?" 

"You heard me Uchiha-san. Would you take Kushina as your wife?" 

"Ashina-san, she's barely in her teen years."

"She is a kunoichi is she not?" 

"She only graduated from the academy a year or so ago." 

"Ah, what is it they say these days? Old enough to kill old enough to fu-

"I'm pretty sure that not the saying Ashina-san." I deadpanned at the man. 

Ashina continued on completely ignoring my side of the arguments. He seemed hellbent on setting me up with Kushina. 

"Regardless of your choice, Kushina will need a strong husband to help her with the Kyubi." 

"You could just release the Kyubi… have any of you actually tried to talk to it? Rumour has it that the Biju can understand languages." 

"And sow destruction and death in the world? I think not, the biju need to be sealed so that they don't wreak havoc in the world." 

I sighed, it seemed that even the Uzumaki were baised when it came to the nine biju. A rather unfortunate turn of events as I was hoping to get an actual seal master to teach me fuinjutsu. The practical applications of such a skill were tremendous. 

"Why are you so insistent on me marrying Kushina?" 

"I am not, if I were to have it my way then Kushina would never marry." 

"Then why-

"Because she's the only one I have left. I want her safety guaranteed and you clearly are stronger than even Hashirama ever was, don't bother lying I am an Uzumaki sensor, you can't hide your chakra levels from me."

'Interesting.' "She's still a child." 

"She's fourteen years old." Ashina easily replied. 

"That's still-" I sighed, "if I say yes will you stop talking about me marrying my underaged student?" 

"Hmmm, perhaps…" 

"Fine, then I'll do it," I stopped him with a raised hand before he could reply, "on three conditions." 

Ashina nodded, "That's fair, name them." 

"She needs to know that this was your idea." 

"Okay I can speak to her about that, what else?" 

"I would like to learn everything the Uzumaki could teach me about fuinjutsu." 

"That, might be difficult. Especially since you're an Uchiha and many in the clan would see it as giving away secrets to a rival clan." 

"I'll be marrying your granddaughter, I think they can make an exception." 

"You might have to take the Uzumaki name." Ashina added. 

"That's fine, I was never too attached to the Uchiha name." It was kind of a lie. 

But if the Uchiha clan had any complains I'd deal with them. I was clan head after all, and I wouldn't let even my own adopted clan walk all over me. I also had a feeling that they'd accept the Uzumaki. It was more strength to the clan. 

"I see, and your final condition?" Ashina asked. 

"I want to wait until she's at least eighteen." 

Ashina raised an eyebrow, "Why? She's considered an adult the moment she became a kunoichi." 

"Personal traditions, mainly, but also I don't want her risking her health should she become pregnant." 

Ashina grinned, "Already thinking of getting in my granddaughters pants? You're not even married yet." 

I sighed again, I had a feeling that this quirkiness was present in all the Uzumaki clan members. Every one of them was unique in their personality, but every single one of them was also eccentric in some kind of way. 

Kushina with her love for ramen, a trait that Naruto inherited. Karin was basically a ginger Sakura. Nagato was… well, Nagato. 

Even Ashina was not any different. The aged Uzumaki easily talked about me boinking his granddaughter as if he was just a bro talking to another bro about a random girl.

'This is going to be a long day.' 

And I was right, Ashina had the Uzu ninja return to the village while. He then told them that he would be accompanying me back to Konoha to visit Kushina. I could already feel the headache I was going to get on the way back.

[Scene Break]

Normally I would have just teleported straight back to the village. Ashina was with me though and while I could pass off my teleportation as 'fuinjutsu'… one I had already told him I wanted to learn it, and two I had no idea if he would survived either apparating or godly teleportation. 

So we ran, we ran fast, but Ashina was getting up there in the age department and couldn't quite move as fast in his youth. I had to keep at his pace the whole time so we had ended up taking a little over a day and a half to reach Konoha. 

The gate guards greeted me with a quick bow. They were already familiar with me. Hiruzen arrived moments later before Ashina and I could make it to the tower. It seemed that someone had told him about our arrival. Probably one of the few sensors they had in the village. 

"Uzukage-sama." Hiruzen greeted Ashina making me quirk and eyebrow. 

I did not know that Ashina was a Kage, though considering who he was it sort of made sense. I wondered how he got his people confident enough in his abilities to let him travel to another village without any guards. 

"Monkey brat." Ashina greeted with a smile. 

The two stared at each other for a moment before breaking out in laughter. They surprised me again when they shared an embrace. 

'So they know each other… just how old is Ashina? He was around for Hashirama and he looked old in the pictures then. Uzumaki genes are just as big of hacks as Hashirama cells are.' 

Can't explain why someone is near immortal and can tentacle rape a tailed beast with wood? Hashirama cells. Having problems with an arm containing dozens of different cells other than your own without issues? Hashirama cells. Need to grow a new arm after yours was blown off? Hashirama cells. Half your body crushed to paste and your bones are basically powder? No problem, just take some Hashirama cells and you'll be able to fucking fight at the same level as a Kage. 

I had completely zoned out as the two talked with each other. I was subconsciously following the two back to the Hokage tower. It was only when Hiruzen coughed that I blinked in surprise having realised that I was now in the Hokage tower after running on autopilot. 

"Er… did I miss something?" 

"I asked if you had a report ready for me in regards to the attack on Uzushio." 

"Ah, right… Kiri, Iwa, and Kumo were on the verge of attacking Uzu. I intervened, first I wiped out the Kumo forces with my dojutsu, once that was done I dealt with the Kiri and Iwa-nin with a mix of taijutsu and ninjutsu. I also used my Sharingan to chase them off when they retreated." 

Hiruzen deadpanned at me, Ashina chuckled and shook his head. 

"He forgot to mention that he created an ethereal warrior to crush the enemy and created some sort of celestial body over the battlefield." 

"Is this true?" Hiruzen asked. 

"Yeah, it's a more descriptive way of putting what I did." I replied. 

"Give me a written form of this tomorrow." Hiruzen sighed. 

Signaling to his ANBU who appeared silently at his side he spoke again, "Bring Kushina here along with Mito-sama." 

The ANBU nodded in confirmation to his orders before disappearing in a swirl of leaves. Moments later Kushina and Mito walked through the door. Kushina saw me and immediately ran to me with an annoyed face. 

"Sensei! Why didn't you tell me you were going to Uzushio?!" She demanded. 

"Uh? You were busy talking to Mito-san?" 

"I- wha- what about after?" She huffed and crossed her arms. 

"Kushi-chan…" Ashina spoke out. 

Kushina finally noticed the other occupants in the room. Her mood immediately shifted and a wide smile split her face. 

"Jiji!" She exclaimed before glomping onto Ashina. 

Ashina laughed and returned her embrace. Kushina had once again done a 180° shift and was now crying into Ashina's shoulder. 

"I never thought I'd see you again 'tebanne." She sniffled. 

"Have you been taking care of yourself Kushi-chan?" 

"Umu… I've been eating lots and sleeping good. Akimitsu Sensei has been teaching me all sorts of cool kenjutsu techniques, and, and I've even made a few friends 'tebanne." 

She wasn't even restraining herself from using her verbal tic anymore. Honestly it was pretty cute, it made me want to snuggle the adorable little tomato.

"Sensei… you're thinking of something embarrassing about me aren't you?" 

I froze, my eyes met Kushina's and I noticed the way too innocent smile on her face. I was about to reply when Ashina laughed out loud. 

"Hahaha, perfect. You two will be perfect together." 

"Together?" Mito and Kushina asked at the same time. 

Hiruzen also looked curious, I sighed and braced myself for the inevitable shout of surprise I knew Kushina was going to make. 

"Right, I didn't say anything yet. Monkey…" Ashina turned to Hiruzen, "how about we strengthen the bonds between our villages?" 

Mito was smiling now, she had put two and two together. Kushina still looked between everyone with a confused look in her eyes. 

"Oh? How so?" Hiruzen responded. 

Ashina's smile grew wider, "A marriage of course! A marriage between my granddaughter, Uzumaki Kushina and the current Uchiha Clan Head, Uchiha Akimitsu." 

There was a short pause of silence, Hiruzen processed the information first and hid the grin on his face behind his pipe. Mito already put things together. I sighed and looked over to Kushina waiting for her to scream. 

Only she never did… instead, a nuclear blush erupted on her face and she began to stutter.

"A- um, marriage? T-to Akimitsu-Sensei?."

'What?' I was shocked for the third time in less than 24 hours. 

Kushina poked her pointer fingers together in a manner that a future Hinata would do when she was thinking of Naruto. I wanted to jump out of the window and run. 

'Kushina has a crush on me?! What the actual fuck!' 

[Scene Break]

Before I knew it two years had passed in the blink of an eye. Mito Uzumaki had passed on a week after the Uzushio incident, and in doing so Kushina became the second jinchuriki of the nine tailed fox. 

Kushina was now fifteen years old and still just as spunky as the day she became my student. Ashina and Hiruzen had formalised the engagement but we didn't tell anyone just yet. Most of the Uchiha clan knew though and surprisingly they were alright with it. 

The clan elders had agreed that it was a great way to build better relations with the village. They also thought that the union between an Uzumaki and the direct descendant of Madara Uchiha himself would produce some of the most powerful ninja ever. 

Kushina was still my student, she became more open around me since learning about our arranged marriage. She was even excited weirdly enough. I thought she would throw a fit, but clearly saving her all those years ago had really influenced her view on me. 

There was one person who wasn't happy about it at first, that person was Minato Namikaze. Jiraya had taken him under his wing though and bit by bit, the boy was getting over his crush on Kushina. I had even heard that Mikoto, Fujitaka's daughter, and Minato had been seen spending time together. 

I was shocked that Fujitaka had a daughter. I was sure that he was Fugaku's father. Apparently some of the fan fiction writers in my original world before the whole botched ritual thing had been right. I bet they'd have been really happy to know that. 

The chunin exams had just arrived and I had finally deemed that Kushina was ready. She was no longer as hot headed and she actually thought things through before attacking. 

She had originally been like Naruto when I first took her in. Loud mouthed and always quick to punch first and ask questions later. 

She was still loudmouthed, don't get me wrong… I found it endearing honestly, but now she actually made plans before blindly attacking. 

I was proud of her. 

Though I wasn't happy about the amount of times she had tried to seduce me. She had stopped trying to prank me entirely and now focussed on getting me to kiss her or hold her hand. 

I firmly insisted that we waited until she was 18 before doing anything, this frustrated the Uzumaki endlessly and she doubled her efforts. Sometimes she'd sneak into my home somehow and get in my bed completely naked. 

I had freaked out the first time she had done that, I thought that I had once again slipped up and ended up in bed with a girl of questionable age. 

Thankfully she toned it down now that the chunin exams were in full tilt. She had just passed the first portion effortlessly. As hard headed as she was, she was incredibly smart.

Ashina thought it would be funny so he personally taught Kushina in fuinjutsu, then he had her teach me whatever he taught her since she picked it up like a fish to water. 

It was his loophole of teaching Uzumaki techniques to a non Uzumaki. After all, he has no control over what my fiancée taught me. 

I watched as Kushina stood next to the other genin at the edge of the Forest of Death. A relatively young Sakumo Hatake was the proctor for this portion. 

He gave a few words to the genin before disappearing in shunshin. The genin took a moment to collect themselves before running into the forest. Kushina had already jumped in the second Sakumo had thrown the hand sign for his shunshin. 

I closed my eyes and watched Kushina while taking a spectral form that no one else could see. Kushina ran through the trees quickly, I wondered what her plan was. Like the original series the genin teams had to get a scroll that matched theirs. 

Kushina being my apprentice was alone, normally this would have been a disadvantage but seeing that I was her teacher…

She danced through her opponents with laughable ease. She would have been a jonin already had I not held her back from the chunin exams twice. She shot a smirk at me and I sighed. 

Leave it to the Uzumaki to be able to sense something they shouldn't be able to sense. I shuddered at the thought of the version of Naruto that could potentially be born. 

Kushina but even more of a prankster, what more is the little brat will have the Sharingan with a chance to unlock the Rinnegan. This world is absolutely fucked if the kid grew up like the original. 

I had already changed so many things so it was highly unlikely that anything bad would happen. Still, one could never be too safe, Murphy was always looking over everyones shoulder and I'd hate to draw its attention. 

[Scene Break] 

-With Kushina-

Kushina flitted through the treetops with practiced ease. Her dear Sensei had drilled it through her head that movement and speed were doubly as important as any jutsu one could learn. 

After all, what was the point of using jutsu if you couldn't hit your target. 

She had a scroll labeled 'Heaven', and according to Sakumo-san, she had to find one labeled 'Earth'. Out of the fifteen teams of chunin hopefuls she was the only one running solo. 

"I don't need to babysit a bunch of snot nosed brats, I will only ever take one apprentice and that's that." 

She remember hearing him say those words to the Hokage when the old man had told him that he was to take a genin team. She had been there to speak to the old man about setting her up with a good Sensei only to meet her future Sensei. 

She shook her head and quickly focused back on what she was doing when she heard a genin team talking below the tree she was perched on. 

"Come on Mikoto-sama, I'm sure there are other teams close by. We can split up to cover more ground." 

"Fugaku-san, that is a bad idea." 

"Shut up you clanless loser." 

There was a sound of someone getting slapped. Kushina observed as one of the few friends she had made in the academy slap a dark haired boy. 

"Fugaku, enough. I will be telling Akimitsu-sama about this." 

Fugaku paled significantly, turning his already pale complexion chalk white. 

"P-please don't…" Fugaku said hardly louder than a whisper. 

"No, you've already been warned about respecting others." 

Kushina didn't want to wait any longer, she jumped down from her tree and landed a perfect heel drop on the top of Fugaku's head. 

The dark haired boy fell to the ground face first as his teammates jumped back in alarm. Though Mikoto chuckled when she noticed who had attacked. 

"Kushi-tan, nice of you to drop by." Mikoto smiled. 

"Ah, sorry about this Miko-chin, I'm trying to finish this test first, Akimitsu-Sensei said he'd teach me a new jutsu if I came in first place." 

Mikoto shook her head in amusement, "It can't be helped, Tokita-san give her our scroll. We can just fine another." 

"Are you sure Mikoto-sama?" 

"Yeah, we need to wait for Fugaku to wake up anyways." 

"Alright…" Tokita replied before handing Kushina a dark brown scroll.

It seemed luck was on Kushina's side. She took the Earth scroll from Tokita and gave him a respectful bow. Waving one last time at Mikoto, Kushina jumped back up onto the trees and ran towards the tower. 

After she left, Mikoto smiled in her direction and softly whispered. 

"Good luck Kushina…"

[Scene Break]

I watched the scene play out in amusement, Fugaku getting knocked out by Kushina was hilarious. Even more so when he landed face first into some animal shit. 

I didn't hate the guy, he was just a bit of a stuck up dickhead. He had mellowed out a lot since I became clan head though. All thanks to Ophis making sure that the Uchiha Clan knew not to cross any lines I set. Not that they would complain. The clan has been prospering ever since I took over from Fujitaka. 

I felt the tug of the summoning scroll and smiled, Kushina had reached the tower and activated the scrolls. I answered the summons and appeared in front of Kushina with a burst of smoke. 

"Ackk- aaachooo, Sensei! You used too much smoke powder again." Kushina sneezed. 

"Very good job Kushi-chan." I congratulated her. 

Though she just puffed up her cheeks and tried to hide a blush on her face. 

"I told you not to call me that Sensei." Kushina huffed. 

"Hmm? Did you say something?" 

"Gah! Whatever, what now Sensei." 

I chuckled at her exasperated expression, "Now you wait. There's still five more days before this portion is over." 

"Aw come on, I don't want to wait five days…" 

"It's perfect actually, I can teach you that Jutsu I promised you." 

"Really?" Kushina had stars in her eyes. 

"Yes really," I chuckled, "you'll only have five days so you better make sure you take the lessons to heart." 

"I always do Sensei." 

"Right…" I shook my head, "anyways there rooms set aside for you guys. You can take a shower there if you want and there's a cafeteria. Dinner should be served in an hour or so." 

Kushina remained silent, she finally looked up after a short pause. Determination in her eyes, I was confused as to what was going on. Then she rushed forward and before I could actually comprehend what was happening. Kushina planted an inexperienced kiss on my lips before dashing off in a blur of red. 

'Huh? Wait, that little brat!' 

Deciding to just let it go, I chuckled and wondered what Ophis and Gabriel were doing. It had been a while since I last saw my sister and my daughter. The last I saw them was the day u took over the headship of the Uchiha Clan. 

They left on their exploratory expedition a few hours later. I could feel them at the edge of Ame and wondered what they were doing in the rainy village. 

'Hopefully they're not doing anything crazy… knowing Ophis though, and Gabriel?' 

I shuddered at the mishaps and potential tomfoolery that could occur due to Gabriel's almost ditzy nature. I had a feeling that the mental processing power I gave her, went straight to another portion of her body instead of her brain. 

'Her back probably hurts a lot with how big her boobs are. Wait, this is my daughter I'm thinking like this about, gah! That's gross, I'll just go ahead and erase this part of my memory. 

Omake: [Kushina and Kurama Meet]

The Kyuubi watched her new host kiss the man that looked almost exactly like that bastard Madara. Kurama hissed in annoyance at the thought of her host getting chummy with an Uchiha. Especially one that shared her former flames face. 

Yes, the Kyuubi no Yoko had once been the lover of Madara Uchiha. They had ridden into battle together one last time before that goofy looking man named Hashirama sealed her away inside Mito Uzumaki. 

Kurama had cursed and raged, however Mito had potent chakra that restrained her forcefully. She noticed Madara not acting like she would have thought he would act after losing her. 

She realised that she had been used, rage filled her being as she swore to destroy every last Uchiha once she broke free from her cage.

Only now, her cage had somehow fallen in love with an Uchiha. Kurama sighed and looked around at the desolate mindscape that belong to Kushina. A plan to use Kushina to strike at the Uchiha popped up in Kurama's head.

"Oi brat, can you hear me?" She called out mentally. 

"W-wha? Who are you?" Kushina replied with her mind. 

"I am the Kyuubi no Yoko, now tell me child… what do you see in that man?" 

Kushina smiled, forgetting that she was talking to the being of pure malice as she told the Kyuubi all about how wonderful and great her her Sensei is. Kurama listened carefully, hoping to find any weaknesses. Only what she got was that Akimitsu Uchiha was not to be trifled with, and that maybe he wasn't so bad. 

Still, she needed her revenge. 

"Tell me brat, what would you do if I killed him?" 

Instead of panicking, Kushina giggled. This surprised Kurama. Wondering why Kushina was laughing, Kurama had expected the young woman to cry and blubber about letting her Sensei live, she didn't expect that the woman to treat this as an everyday occurance as if nothing was wrong. 

"Kyuubi-san, Akimitsu-Sensei is too strong, even stronger than you, I don't think you'll be able to even land a scratch on him." 

"Humph… I don't care, so long as I can hurt him for what his ancestors did to me." 

Kushina looked at the Kyuubi with pity. 

"Ne, Kyuubi-san, wanna be friends?" Kushina asked the tailed beast with a smile.