Kamisama Shop de Cheat no Kaori

Idle Talk 2. A Christmas Party In The Wasteland

This was a story that took place in a port town at the farthest west of the continent.

“Christmas… you say?”

The one who replied was a dignified beauty with long hair reflecting the crimson of the sun, wearing a red-themed leather outfit and red-dyed chains wrapped around her body. As per the trope, she was exceptionally well-endowed.

Her name was Cherina Veliero, daughter of the largest maritime trader in the westernmost city-state of Piratus. Even though she had an older brother, his presence was so faint that all the town’s attention was on her.

Hang in there, bro…

“Hmm? Oh, it’s an event related to the deity of my homeland. It celebrates the birthday of a saint, though it originated from a distant country, and in mine, it’s mostly turned into a family or lover’s celebration.”

“I’ve often heard stories of rituals changing over time. Festivals from when Piratus was just a single city before it became a kingdom are said to no longer resemble their original forms.”

“Well, that’s just how it goes, I guess.”

“So, what kind of event is this Christmas?”

“Hmm… My impression is it’s mostly about eating cake and chicken and giving or exchanging gifts…”

I never really had a proper Christmas celebration in my life. If anything, it’s always been a time to pack in part-time jobs to make money. I never want to wear a Santa suit or a reindeer costume ever again.

The unsold cakes, however, were my essential source of calories for the end of the year.

“Gift exchange…”

Cherina tilted her head slightly, as if lost in thought.

“That sounds interesting…”

“Huh?”

It seemed I’d hit some weird nerve with Cherina.

◆

“Over there! Is the sponge cake done?”

“Sorry, I burned two of them!”

“Damn it! The heat control is tricky! Redo them right away!”

“Yes! Right away!”

At this moment, the Veliero Trading Company’s dining hall had turned into a battlefield.

“How’s the whipped cream?!”

“Lord Akira! How does this look?”

“…No, it’s not whipped enough! Put more muscle into it!”

“Yes, sir!”

The whipped cream was an improvised version made by heating milk and butter, but it was well-received, so we decided to stick with it. We could have gotten SHOP’s approval, but ideally, we wanted it to be something the Veliero Trading Company could make from now on.

Since the quality of milk and butter differed greatly from Japan, it was quite a struggle to perfect, but thanks to Chef Hugo’s all-night research, we managed to make a flavor likely to appeal to the locals.

The cake Chef Hugo and I tested knocked out the ladies of Veliero one after another, leaving them captivated.

Cherina, of course, tasted the best of our creations, but the maids and female employees who participated in the tasting even devoured the burnt sponge cakes.

Naturally, even the men, who rarely had the chance to eat sweets, raved about it, but they couldn’t eat more than a taste due to the women’s intensity.

Apparently, even the usually hierarchical men couldn’t say anything against the women’s determined gazes on that occasion.

However, since the recipe required a large amount of sugar, they probably wouldn’t be able to make it frequently once I left.

Fortunately, the Veliero Trading Company had one of the few routes in the country to obtain sugar, so they could make it whenever necessary.

There was a reason we were baking so many of these popular cakes.

“Let’s hold a Christmas party.”

Whatever she thought about it, Cherina came to that conclusion.

“We’ve been neglecting relationships with our business partners due to our busy schedule, so we might as well take this chance to invite them all at once.”

The plan was to invite prominent figures and wrap things up in one go.

The idea was this: each invited guest would bring a gift. They’d draw lots and take home one gift. The downside was that you might end up with the gift you brought, but with so many people, the chances were low.

They also set a size restriction on the gifts. This was apparently to prevent any misunderstandings and curb anyone who might misinterpret the event as an opportunity to flaunt their power.

“Is it fine not to set a price limit?”

“In this country, larger items tend to signify greater authority, so the typical gift would be a carriage.”

“It’d be a hassle if someone brought something like that to the party…”

“Yes. It’s only enjoyable the first time.”

Getting multiple carriages as gifts would be overkill. Even if they came with horses, the maintenance costs would be a nightmare. In the end, you’d have no choice but to sell them.

“Setting a price limit is also tricky… Though I don’t think more than a few will fail to read the room.”

It was a suggestive remark. But I quickly understood what she meant once the party started.

“It makes me so happy to be invited to a party!”

While I was busy overseeing the food, Cherina suddenly called for me, and I went over to find Baron Retter, a prominent nobleman, arriving.

“Oh! You’re looking well, Akira!”

I thought he’d only have eyes for Cherina, but he made sure to greet me too. I actually kind of liked this baron.

If only his looks were improved, he probably wouldn’t have any trouble finding a bride by now. Poor guy.

“Yes. Thanks to you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I heard there’s a feast tonight! I’m looking forward to it!”

“Well then, Baron Retter, please, this way.”

“Yes, yes. I’m honored to be invited.”

It must’ve been her duty as the host, as Cherina gently took the baron’s extended arm and escorted him to the grand hall.

Through the crack in the door, I glanced at the crowd. As tedious as it was, I was also expected to attend. The merchants and company heads who had come to negotiate with Cherina were lined up. I recognized about 70% of the faces as those who’d come to discuss business with Veliero.

Additionally, the head of the Fishing Guild, Mile Baharl, and the head of the Food and Beverage Guild, Moshino Cayenne, were seated as well.

As usual, Baharl looked like a handsome tanned guy, while Cayenne sat smiling pleasantly.

“Well, time to get back to my work.”

You sure are demanding, Cherina…

I returned to the dining hall and dove back into cooking with Chef Hugo.

◆

The call came again from Cherina.

“Well then, Hugo. I’ll leave the rest to you.”

“Understood. Leave it to me.”

After changing into a suit, I headed to the grand hall, where Cherina was waiting.

“You’re late.”

“Then don’t make me play two roles. Honestly, there’s no point in me attending this party, is there?”

“There is. You’ll understand soon enough.”

With that, Cherina took my arm. As an advisor, I should’ve been allowed to walk behind her, but she wouldn’t hear it.

With a sigh, I stepped into the hall, and immediately, all eyes turned to us.

“Oh, come on…”

Apparently, I was dragged in for the host’s grand entrance. Whatever, not like I care.

Following Cherina’s lead, we moved to the head of the long table, where she began speaking in a clear voice.

“I thank you all for coming on such short notice. This party was inspired by a festival celebrated in Akira’s homeland. Although it’s different from the original, please enjoy yourselves at your leisure.”

Applause erupted from the guests. So, I was just a prop.

“Akira! Over here!”

The boorish baron, aka Baron Retter, sitting at the head seat, called me over loudly. Right. I’d noticed that empty seat next to him…

I shot Cherina a resentful look, but she only gave me a smug smile and turned away. I’ll remember this, you little…

Reluctantly, I sat in the seat Baron pointed out, smiling as I did, as merchants at the lower end of the table eyed me with envy or jealousy. I’m used to it, though, so whatever.

“Today, with the cooperation of the Culinary Guild, we’d like to serve some unique dishes. Let’s start with the appetizer.”

At Cherina’s signal, carpaccio was brought out. Ah, so she’s unveiling the dishes we served to the Culinary and Fishing Guild heads. Cherina’s as sharp as ever…

The first dish was snapper carpaccio. Quite the adventurous choice. Sure enough, the guests began murmuring.

“Excuse me, Miss Veriero, but is this… raw fish?”

The man opposite the baron spoke up, clearly of noble background.

“Yes, indeed. This dish uses fresh fish, sliced carefully and seasoned with a secret sauce,” Cherina replied without hesitation.

The nobleman raised an eyebrow.

“We’ve never had a tradition of eating raw fish. However, in Akira’s homeland, this is a common delicacy. Naturally, we’re only serving varieties that are safe to eat raw, and every dish today has been thoroughly checked for taste and safety.”

While most guests hesitated, two people moved to try it.

“Oh! This is delicious! Truly, the famed Chef Hugo’s creation! It’s such a loss he isn’t with our guild.”

The loud voice belonged to Mosino Cayenne, head of the Culinary Guild.

“I see. We fishermen never thought to eat fish raw, but this method brings out such flavor. I’ll have to change my views from now on,” said the Fishing Guild head, Miles Bahar, the tan-skinned handsome guy. Go explode.

Guess I should join in too.

“Baron Retter, while this dish originates in my homeland, Chef Hugo has adapted it wonderfully for local tastes. Since Lady Cherina favors it, please do give it a try.”

“So, the lady likes it?”

“Yes.”

Hearing our conversation, Cherina approached us with a smile.

“Yes, I’m very fond of it. I’d be delighted if the baron enjoyed it as well.”

“T-then I’ll try it!”

The baron cautiously tasted the carpaccio. At first, he seemed wary of the texture, but his face gradually softened.

“Th-this is delicious! Such a unique taste, refreshing and flavorful!”

With the baron enjoying the carpaccio, the guests began trying it, most of whom seemed pleased.

“Next, we have roasted chicken, a dish often enjoyed during festivals in Akira’s homeland.”

A big misunderstanding, but I’ll let it slide. It’s actually turkey, but Japanese convenience stores only had chicken.

Roast chicken is already considered a delicacy here, so unlike before, the atmosphere became much friendlier. I even heard sighs of relief.

Starting with roast seemed odd, but it made sense to follow up the appetizer with a familiar dish. The wealthy crowd showered praise on the familiar roast chicken.

The third dish was thinly sliced white fish hotpot, which received universal acclaim. The sauce, based on fish sauce locally made, highlighted Chef Hugo’s skill.

After that came another local specialty, with a balanced mix of dishes from different regions.

There was a bit of a commotion when fried octopus was served, but hearing the praises of the brave ones who tried it, eventually everyone followed suit, and they all loved it. It seems fried octopus is a hit in this country.

“Finally, for dessert, we’re serving an indulgent treat made with plenty of sugar.”

A beautiful whole cake appeared, adorned with fruits from the southern lands atop pure white cream. The vibrant fruits against the snowy cream made it a visual delight.

The sight alone drew gasps from the guests. White apparently holds special meaning here—come to think of it, the baron’s mansion was all white too.

Once the cake was sliced, it was served starting from the head table.

“This is my first time seeing something like this!”

The baron carefully took a bite with his fork, his eyes widening.

“S-so sweet! The white part is so fluffy! The light brown part is sweet too! But it’s not overpowering at all!”

The baron practically inhaled his piece of cake, despite already eating plenty, then promptly asked the maid for seconds.

“Baron, this goes better with tea than wine. Please enjoy it with some tea.”

“It goes perfectly with tea!”

After a sip of the tea I’d recommended, he devoured the cake even faster and asked for yet another slice… Hope he doesn’t end up with diabetes.

The cake was well-received by most guests, and the extra portions we’d prepared quickly vanished.

Mosino Cayenne also muttered, “I didn’t expect them to have such a surprise up their sleeve… This might start a war with the Bread Guild,” as he asked for seconds. If you want to keep eating, you’ll have to handle that negotiation.

“Now, let’s begin the gift exchange. Usually, these are given to family or loved ones, but they’re also exchanged among close friends. We hope this will help everyone deepen their connections.”

Applause followed Cherina’s announcement. No one could be unhappy with the Veriero Trading Company wanting to forge friendly ties.

At Cherina’s signal, a stage was set up, and presents were arranged on it. Most were boxes of the same size, but one was clearly larger than the rest.

Cherina sighed.

“Baron Retter… I did inform you that this was meant to be a casual party. It’s troublesome if you act on your own like this.”

“But… I just wanted to give it to you, my lady…”

“I also mentioned that you wouldn’t know who would receive it.”

“Oh…”

“Come on, Cherina. He just didn’t understand how things work the first time. Don’t be too hard on him.”

“…If Lord Akira insists.”

The baron sighed in relief, but I knew she anticipated that I’d intervene. You sly fox.

“Then let’s begin the raffle. Baron Retter, you go first.”

Instead of a maid, Cherina personally walked around with a box of tickets. Once everyone had a wooden ticket with a number, we all went up to the platform, picked our matching-numbered presents, and returned to our seats…

“Wh-wh-wh-what?!”

The baron cried out in distress.

“What’s wrong, Your Excellency?”

Melvin, Cherina’s aide, rushed over in concern. I knew immediately what had caused that anguished shout.

“Ah, you drew your own present by mistake, didn’t you…”

The baron looked back at me, tears in his eyes.

“If you’d like, we can secretly swap.”

Officially, exchanging gifts after the raffle is prohibited, but no one would complain.

“…I wanted the lady’s gift…”

“I’m sorry, but it’s already gone to someone else.”

I glanced over and saw that the recipient was Mile Bahar. Not only is he good-looking, but he has all the luck, too. Seriously, just explode already.

Incidentally, the baron’s gift was a sculpture.

“Aw… that’s disappointing…”

Personally, I think there’s something funny about being the only one to draw your own gift, but apparently, he just saw it as bad luck. In the end, I agreed to swap with him.

The gift I received from the baron was a huge box, about as tall as me. It wasn’t too thick or heavy, though.

Back in our seats, everyone began opening their boxes to show off their gifts. It seems the custom here is to open them on the spot rather than waiting until they get home. Following suit, I opened mine…

“…”

It was something incredibly luxurious—a high-end item. Undoubtedly crafted by a master artisan.

But…

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

I muttered to myself, making sure no one could hear.

It was an elegant dress. A luxurious, red dress. Just looking at it, anyone would know exactly who it was intended for.

I must have been smiling wryly.

“…This is a fine piece.”

I managed to say that much to the baron. Meanwhile, his gift contained a finely crafted harpoon head. I glanced over at Bahar, and he quickly averted his eyes. That jerk.

Then I noticed one gift left on the platform. It was the smallest box of all, something you’d hardly notice among the others.

“Oh boy…”

Cherina carefully brought the small box down from the platform, catching everyone’s attention. A quiet murmur spread through the crowd.

“Whose present is that?”

“It’s quite small; is it jewelry?”

“Why wasn’t mine chosen?”

“This event really is random…”

“I thought for sure the baron’s would go first.”

“This kind of exchange is rather fun.”

But that part about it being random… I can’t agree with that, since that gift is…

“Well! This must be Akira’s present! I wonder what’s inside?”

There it is. After the baron drew his own gift, I’m convinced she set this all up!

Cherina opened the box happily, but as soon as she saw the contents, she frowned.

“Well, well, is that a knife? It has an unusual shape.”

“A kitchen tool at a party like this?”

“It seems well-made, though…”

“It has an unusual sheen to it.”

“Wait… could that be the fabled Dwarven rust-proof metal?”

“Oh! That would explain the choice as a gift!”

“Just who is this Akira, anyway?”

“To think he integrated himself into the Veliere family so effortlessly, he’s a mystery indeed.”

Hold on—now even I’m catching flak! Despite the admiration around us, Cherina’s expression was far from pleased.

And so, the Christmas party in the wilderness concluded on a mostly positive note.

◆

“Honestly! Honestly, just what kind of person are you!”

After the party ended, for some reason, I was being called out by Cherina to complain at me. I couldn’t comprehend it.

“Why on earth is the party gift a knife?! I don’t understand! You should give something that would make people happy!”

Cherina continued to scold me, her ample breasts swaying with every gesture.

“I told you that nobles and merchants would be gathered! Who would expect someone to cook for themselves?!”

“Ah, that’s true…”

The items I could offer were all things likely to cause trouble later on, so I chose accordingly, but I clearly didn’t think it through enough. It’s no wonder Cherina is angry.

“Honestly! You truly are insensitive or perhaps a blockhead!”

Isn’t “blockhead” a bit off? I thought, but saying so would likely make her lecture go on forever, so I quietly listened to Cherina’s complaints.

After a while, there was a knock at the door.

“…Who is it?”

“It’s Hugo. I’ve brought tea.”

“Come in.”

Usually, it’s Melvin who brings the tea at times like this, but for some reason, it was Hugo.

“I’ve brought black tea… and some sweets.”

What he laid out were small cakes. They were palm-sized round cakes, oddly enough, not cut into pieces. I thought it was a bit lacking since there were plates and forks, but I had seen him spot the knife on the table when he entered the room and quickly hide the knife he’d brought.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot to cut them… Looks like there’s a knife right there. Would it be alright for you to handle it, Lord Akira?”

“Sure, that’s fine.”

As Hugo turned to leave the room, he suddenly looked back.

“By the way, Lord Akira, I’ve heard that at Christmas, besides holding a party with family and close friends, it’s also common for couples to spend time together?”

“Yeah, while the original festival has changed form, that’s also a typical way to celebrate in my country.”

“I see… Well then, please enjoy yourselves.”

Hugo bowed his head and left the room. A brief silence filled the space.

“…I’m full, but… should I eat since it’s here?”

“…Yeah, I guess.”

As I cut the cake, Cherina brought a piece to her mouth.

“This cake really is delicious.”

“If you eat too much, you’ll gain weight, though.”

“…What did you say?”

“No, it’s fine as long as you don’t eat it every day.”

“Don’t scare me like that.”

Cherina sighed.

“…Oh, right, I’d almost forgotten. There’s a classic line to say at times like this.”

“A classic line… you say?”

“Yeah, it means ‘Have a wonderful Christmas…’”

I lifted my cup of tea and offered it to Cherina. She quickly understood the meaning and lifted her cup as well.

“Merry Christmas.”

The cups lightly clinked together.

－END－