Kamisama Shop de Cheat no Kaori

Idle Talk 3. Who’s the Strongest?

It was during one of our usual training sessions.

I was repeating the moves of the Tornado Martial Arts that the lean, muscular, blond-dreadlocked elf Yaralai had developed for me, when his daughter Lalaila suddenly asked a question.

“By the way, who’s stronger: you or Hagg?”

The air froze. Instant freeze. The kind of reaction you’d get if a soft banana was suddenly dropped into liquid nitrogen.

“What… did you just say?”

Yaralai turned slowly, eyes wide, to face his daughter.

“Hehehe…”

Watching us from the top of the camper, the horned, tanned girl Falna, also known as Faf, chuckled with amusement.

“That, question, is, settled. I’m, stronger.”

Yaralai slowly told her with a measured tone.

“Oh, really? Seems there’s a long-eared one here with quite an imagination.”

Of course, that comment didn’t escape Hagg, the dwar blacksmith and warrior. He would have loved to have ignored it.

Hagg stood up with a wisp of smoke curling off him, a massive iron hammer gripped tightly in his hand.

“… Just stating, the, facts.”

Yaralai said, looking down at the short dwarf, now gripping his heavy estoc known as Black Needle.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…”

I thought to step in and break it up before things got out of hand…

“Let them go at it.”

“What?”

Suddenly, Faf appeared before me without warning, holding me back with one hand. As I hesitated, the two were already fully riled up.

“I’ve always thought it’d be good to settle things once and for all with you.”

“Regret it, will you? Metal-worshipping dwarf.”

The veins on Hagg’s forehead pulsed as he swung the iron hammer down at an unbelievable speed, as though it had no weight at all. The ground tore and shook beneath the impact.

“It’s you who’ll regret it! You twiggy elf!”

“Cry and apologize, you drunken dwarf.”

Yaralai dodged Hagg’s hammer with a speed that was impossible to follow and thrust Black Needle from Hagg’s blind spot like a bullet. Is he trying to kill him?!

“Too slow!”

But Hagg spun in place, deflecting Black Needle with his hammer. As if expecting this, Yaralai used the hammer’s momentum to close the distance quickly, aiming low to slide in close. Hagg twisted his body to counter, and they crashed shoulder to shoulder, foreheads colliding with a resounding clank.

“You… I’ll kill you!”

“You’re the one who’ll die!”

Clang!

Black Needle and the hammer sparked as they clashed, and then instantly returned to striking range. They’re moving so fast I can’t keep up!

“Dad, you’re being ridiculous…”

“What?”

“You keep choosing nothing but raging spirits to bind with. How do you control them…”

“Heh heh… The way he wields his spirit magic is closer to wave arts.”

“Is that so?”

“Heh heh… Spirit magic and wave arts aren’t that different at their core. The big difference is if it’s directed inward or outward.”

“What?! I’ve never heard that before!”

“Heh heh… Humans think of them as different forces, after all. Plus, since the image required for activation is so opposite, mastering both is nearly impossible. In that sense, you’re not wrong either.”

“Huh…?”

“Heh heh… You don’t need to understand.”

“Ugh… Now I want to know even more…”

It’d be cruel to tell Lalaila, who’s such a curious researcher, not to understand. She went from idly watching to studying the two with keen interest.

… Was this all part of the plan?

After an hour of fierce battle, both were drenched in sweat. I’d never seen those two that worn out, not even in a goblin hazard.

Before I knew it, a huge crowd had gathered, turning the whole thing into a festive scene. It was probably great entertainment for the people in the slums.

“… Not… bad… for a… scrawny… elf…”

“Hah!… And for a… tin barrel…”

Despite their exhaustion, they continued to banter, unfazed.

“Hey, Faf, who’s actually stronger between them?”

“Heh heh… Do you ask me? Very well. In terms of overall strength, the elf lad wins. He’s a born warrior.”

Lalaila’s ears twitched slightly, and she looked a little pleased. I guess hearing that your parent is strong makes you happy, huh?

“Wow, so Yaralai is stronger.”

“Heh heh… That’s a meaningless question. The difference is minimal, and everything changes with strengths, weaknesses, fighting style, and context. If they were up against a hard enemy like a Grand Rock Turtle or a golem, Hagg’s hammer would be most effective. But with fast opponents or ones like wraiths, immune to physical attacks, it’d be the elf’s show.”

Honestly, the fact that there are monsters like golems and wraiths is more terrifying than the fight. I definitely don’t want to meet anything like that.

“Heh heh… With his command over wave arts, he could damage even wraiths or ghosts.”

Oh, so wave arts work on ghostly creatures, huh? … Maybe I should take my wave training a bit more seriously.

“…You both realize how insane the things you’re saying are… How do you know all this so well…”

Lalaila muttered something, but I didn’t quite catch it.

Another hour passed. Most of the spectators had gotten bored and left, and now the two moons shone beautifully in the sky.

“…D…damn it…”

“…Just… a little… more…”

The two muttered as they collapsed to the ground.

“…Well, looks like a double knockout.”

“Heh heh… Quite the show.”

I cloaked myself in waves, tossed the two into the camper’s bed, and returned to the campfire. This place was a wasteland, and the night was cold.

Without my usual night watchers, I stayed awake with a yawn.

As I prepared a late-night snack from the leftover ingredients, Faf joined me, holding a bottle of alcohol.

“…It’s your allowance, so use it however you like.”

Faf silently held out the ceramic bottle, smiling, and I took out a cup for her to pour. It was a slight step down from the alcohol Hagg had given me, but it wasn’t cheap stuff.

“Heh heh… Don’t you want to return to your original world?”

“My original world…?”

You mean Japan…? It’s only been two months or so, but it already feels like a lifetime ago.

“Not at all. Sure, the other world wasn’t life-threatening… mostly. I was safe there…”

Yeah. My life was never really ordinary.

“Actually, let me correct that. It was only a little… safer than here, but… it was boring…”

Boring… I think there’s a better word, but I can’t put my finger on it.

“Heh heh… Isn’t that contradictory?”

“…Maybe. But I don’t need much. When this journey is over… I think I’ll settle in a town by the sea.”

Taking out a cigarette, Faf offered me a heated branch. As I lit the cigarette, for a moment, an image of long, red hair flashed through my mind.

Must’ve been my imagination.

I exhaled a long stream of smoke, sipping my drink. Everything else felt irrelevant.

“If I have these two things, that’s enough.”

“Heh heh…”

For some reason, Faf chuckled in a way that sounded more knowing than usual, and it annoyed me a little.

“…So? Who’s actually the strongest?”

“Heh heh… Obviously, it’s me.”

As the two moons shone over the wilderness, her fearless laughter drifted on the breeze.