Ketch Me as I Fall

I paced the lobby as I waited in that damned hospital. It had been the closest to the hotel but it was still a good twenty-minute sprint. She'd seized on the way over, her mouth filling with foam and her body thrashing as I watched, helpless. Useless with those drugs in her blood. And now, I couldn't stop moving. There was no other way to push past the nervous energy that coursed through me.

They had had to pump her stomach, that was all I had been told. I could only hope now that it was enough to help her. To bring her back to me once again. And if it didn't, I would do everything I could to bring her back. I had made the damn deal, I could bend it's rules. Make a loophole. I would force it if I had to.

I shook my head, focusing on anything else again as the anger at Elly's stupidity threatened to turn me dark again. I could feel it just there under my skin. It had started to bubble up after I'd called Ketch to tell him what had happened. I had made him promise not to tell Ally, to keep her distracted. 

And Lucifer still wasn't answering his fucking phone. I huffed at how many times I had tried to call him. It was ridiculous at this point. His mailbox was full of my messages now, so I started to text him. The prick was ignoring those too. I was as bad as a heartbroken teen drunk texting their ex, I needed to quit. He would show up if and when he wanted to. He always did.

"Ketch?"

I stopped in my pacing as a tired-looking nurse holding a clipboard walked up to me. It had been a gamble to use his name as my own, but it was less likely to be on some hitlist like mine undoubtedly was. I raced over to the woman, waiting for her to speak before asking anything.

"We have her stabilized." She said, her smile kind but so very tired. She must be working a double. "She's awake too."

"Can I see her?" I said, the worry thick in my voice. I tried to look up the hallway as if I expected her to be walking out on her own any second.

"In a minute." The nurse said gently. "We'd like to keep her overnight. She told us it had been a suicide attempt."

Those words hit me hard. She had tried to end her life feet away from me…she had waited until we were distracted and had thought…I wasn't sure what she could have been thinking. And I wasn't going to start putting words in her mouth when she had just barely survived again.

"She'll be on a suicide watch. We can see how she is in the morning and talk about releasing her then."

"Ya…ok," I said softly, on autopilot.

"And the doctor had some questions about the markings covering the rest of her body." The nurse flipped a page on her clipboard. "She looks very badly beat up."

"She was sexually assaulted a few nights ago," I said softly. "We've already told the police, but she doesn't remember who it was."

"I see." The nurse patted my arm gently, her eyes sad. "We'll take care of her. I know how hard it can be to move away from something so traumatic."

If only she knew Elly's story. She had survived torture for months. She had survived being shot. She survived being possessed. She survived demons, vampires, angels, werewolves, ghouls, and the damn devil himself. But this had crossed a line. And she couldn't survive this, not on her own.

I would never understand it. I would never know her pain. I could only know that she would rather end her life than continue to remember what they had done. To be worse than torture…so completely life-ruining, I found myself wishing I could do anything to help her.

"That's it for my questioning." The nurse turned to the side and gestured down the hall. "I'll take you to her now."

I followed her hesitantly and stopped at the door to the all too clean hospital room. Elly was there, alive, sitting up on the white bed in the center of the room, smiling. I took slow steps at first, but couldn't stop my feet as I raced for the bed and took her into my arms. I had probably moved a little too fast for the nurse, but I could deal with that later. So many emotions ran through me as I clutched to her, looking over her face and ignoring her words as she tried to tell me over and over again that she was ok. I kissed her, something just short and sweet enough to make her shut up and send her eyes wide once I'd pulled away.

"Don't you ever fucking do that again." I hissed, fighting back the tears that took over for the anger in my blood. "Do you understand?" Elly nodded, still too shocked to protest as I continued to hold her. "Don't you dare tell Ketch I just did that. He'll kill me." I pulled her close again, hugging her tightly. "Stop scaring me like that you asshole."

"Not fun, is it?" Elly's tone was teasing. "Imagine how the rest of us felt when you kept doing it."

"This is not the same." I shot at her. But I knew she was right. I knew it must have been horrible for all of them every time I'd died. "Fuck you…"

"Well. You did just kiss me." She smiled again. "It is the next logical step."

I let a surprised laugh pass my lips. She almost sounded normal. Happy. I would never know what had done it. I was just glad I had some part of her back. Even if it was only her sarcastic humor.

"Later, hun. You damn tease." I pushed away from her and looked her over, my hands searching over her as much as my eyes were. "I was so scared."

"You? Scared?" She scoffed. "Liar." She took hold of my hands and held them tightly. "Is Ally ok?"

I nodded. "She's still with Ketch and doesn't know."

"Thank you." Her bright smile dropped. "I'm sorry…this was so unfair to you. To all of you. I just…"

"Do you feel better?" It was all that mattered now.

I pulled my hands free from hers and took her face in them again. There was color back in her cheeks. They were bright and rosy, not a fever-flushed red. She closed her eyes and relaxed into my touch, nodding.

"I'll still have withdrawals." She whispered. "If you think you're ready for that."

"To the moon and back," I said softly. A new promise. "But we've gotta get you out of here first."

"I'm on suicide watch." She clicked her tongue. "Not like they're just gonna let me walk out."

"Don't worry about that. We'll get you out." I said lowly, just for her and me. "Besides, I don't have a thousand dollars to pay for your mistake."

"I'm sorry." She leaned forward and rested her forehead against mine. "I promise I won't do that again."

"Damn straight." I smiled. "Or I'll kill you myself."

Elly laughed and hugged me.

We ended up waiting until after visiting hours were over before doing anything. There had been way too many nurses for me to sneak her out otherwise. But now we had a getaway car waiting outside and we finally had a good moment to get out.

"You ready?" I asked as I blipped into her room and grabbed her bag from a chair.

"Yup. This place is too miserable for me." Elly said with a nod.

I moved over to the bed and gently helped her to her feet. When I was sure I had a good hold on her, I transported us down to the parking lot where my car was waiting. We stumbled as I landed, Elly dry-heaving briefly before she was steady again. A good reason not to move her back to the bunker right away. I looked into the driver's side of my car, surprised to find Ally grinning at me.

"I told you no." Elly sighed as I helped her into the back seat. "Where's Ketch?"

"There," Ally said, nodding out the window as a motorcycle rolled up beside us. 

"I told you not to race off." Ketch chuckled as he pulled up next to the car and leaned against the handlebars. He shook his head as Ally rolled her eyes. "It's over a day's drive back. Think you can do that?"

"Think you can keep up?" Ally challenged. She cranked up the radio, Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac filling the silent night air.

"Be nice to my car," I instructed, patting the roof gently before I raced around to the other side and made to climb on behind Ketch.

"Hello, love." He said, smiling. "Been a while since we took a drive."

I smiled as I got seated and wrapped my arms around his waist. I watched as Ally shot from the curb before I'd even told her we were ready. I laughed as she raced through the parking lot like she'd been driving for years now.

"Can you keep up?" I teased Ketch.

He rolled his eyes at me before facing forward and revving the engine. "Are you holding one?"

He was speeding away after my car before I could answer.

I stepped back into the bunker and released a breath I hadn't known I was holding. A tension in my shoulders released with it as the feeling of being home washed over me. It felt so good not to be straddling anything anymore. Well, I was at least tired of the motorcycle. Ketch was another story.

I snatched up Elly as she tried to walk past me, taking her hand. "You never told me you could ride a motorcycle."

"It wasn't important." Elly laughed, pushing away from me. It was so good to hear that sound again. So wonderful to have her back, even if it was only a small part. "I learned when Lucifer and I were hunting. I thought I wanted one, but once I had the license, I decided against it."

"You found out you were pregnant huh?" I said, teasingly poking her stomach.

"Yup. And we decided a car was probably safer." Elly grabbed Ally as she walked through the door, hugging her close. "She's better than any motorcycle."

"Thanks?" Ally laughed.

"I should let Sam and Dean know you're ok," I said, pushing past them as something like guilt mixed with jealousy pulsed in me. "I'll be back in a second." I smiled at Ketch as I passed him on the way to our bedroom, pulling my phone out once I was shut inside.

I looked down at the blank screen and sighed. Where the fuck was Lucifer? There was no way I could keep this up on my own. I couldn't just take care of his family for him. No matter how much I had tried to ruin it only weeks ago. But it wasn't just about me. Ketch was getting restless too. We just weren't meant to be babysitters.

I rang Dean first, tapping my foot lightly as I waited for him to answer. "Hey." His voice was thick with worry. "Was getting worried about you. Did you find her?"

"More or less," I said, lowering my voice as I sat on the edge of the bed.

"More or less?" He questioned, concern weaving through his voice.

"Some…uh…" I struggled with the words. "Some difficult shit happened. We're trying to fix it the best we can."

"Can I help?"

I rubbed my eyes with my free hand and sighed. "I don't know. Have you heard anything about Lucifer?"

"No. Why?" Dean's voice changed to one hinted with dread. "What did he do?"

"Nothing. That's kinda the problem." I laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "He hasn't been answering his phone or Elly's prayers."

"I'll see if I can find anything related to him."

"Thank you." I took a deep breath. "You take care of those fairies?"

"Nasty little assholes." Dean huffed. "But ya. What was she after?"

"Jefferson Starships." I prepared myself for his response.

But silence greeted me from the other line. It made me think he had hung up for a second until I heard him suck in a breath.

"They're supposed to be dead."

"Ya." I nodded, even knowing he couldn't see me. I sat up as someone knocked on my door. "I gotta go. Let Sam know we're safe. I have a few things I need to take care of first."

I hung up before he could respond and stood from the bed. I took a few steps to the door and opened it slowly, surprised to be greeted with young blue eyes.

"What's up, kid?" I said, even if I wanted nothing more than to rest right now.

I felt so tired all of a sudden. Just so very weak as exhaustion tugged at my every bone. And I was sure I wasn't going to get much rest before Elly would need help with her withdrawals. 

"Can you…" Ally seemed nervous. "Can you teach me how to heal?"

"I already told you…"

"Please?" She interrupted me, begging. "I couldn't help my mom, but maybe I can help someone else in the future."

I sighed. I wasn't sure how to teach her. It had just come naturally to me as I learned everything that came with this new form. "Let's get settled and I'll give Jack a call in a bit."

"Ok." She gave me a small smile and nodded. "Thank you."

I sighed as I closed the door behind her. That wasn't exactly my area of expertise. I was much better at destroying things than I was at fixing them. And I was a demon, not a Nephilim. What if I told her something wrong? What if I screwed up everything more than I already had? So much of this was already my fault anyway.

I shook my head and opened the door again before stepping into the hall to call after her. But she was already down the hall, going towards her room. I watched her for a moment, noticing when she stumbled into the door just before her room. She caught herself against it and shook her hands. Concern flashed through me. Was she ok? She was probably just tired, she had driven, most of the way back.

"Right. Try again." I opened the knife and held it against my wrist. "Ready?"

Ally nodded, sitting almost shoulder to shoulder with Jack as they crowded around my arm. I pulled the blade easily over my wrist, the blood starting to flow quickly from the wound and onto the table below. Ally reached forward, her fingers grazing my palm as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. 

"Do you feel where the flow of blood is coming from?" Jack asked her patiently.

"I think so…" Ally replied hesitantly. Her nose crinkled in thought.

"Find a way to stop the flow." Jack continued. "Feel the way the body's energy tries to heal and speed up the process."

"How…how do you feel that?"

I smiled. Jack had been the better option to teach her this. I would never have been able to show her. But she needed to learn a little faster before I couldn't stop myself from healing anymore.

"You know how you can see Dad's wings? And his halo?" Jack stated.

I looked at him oddly. They could see that? And good ol' Lucifer still had his halo, huh?

"Ya. And Alex has horns." Ally opened her eyes to look at Jack. "What about it?"

My free hand went up to my hair. I…I did? I hadn't even known that. New questions formed in my head. Did all demons have horns? Did I have a pointy tail too?

"Then you should be able to feel and see the energy in people too," Jack instructed. "Their soul is usually in their chest. You can see the faint glow, right?"

"Ya."

They could see souls too? …I still had a soul?

"Do you see how the glow has traveled to where she's hurt? The soul is what heals. That's why it's so much harder to heal when you're badly hurt. Your soul burns itself out." Jack explained. I wasn't sure how he had learned that, but it made sense. "You need to feel its warmth. Help it find the wound and focus on it. Let it use you to help heal."

I looked down at my wrist as a cooling feeling filled it and I watched my skin stitch itself back together, a soft blue glow coming from her fingertips. It was the same blue glow of Lucifer's healing.

"Good job, kid," I muttered, pulling my wrist from her and looking at it up close. "You're a natural."

"That was pretty small though. How do I do something bigger?" Ally questioned.

It caught me off guard, even if I knew why she asked that. I must not have hidden the look on my face well enough because her sapphire eyes met mine and she frowned.

"I want to help my mom."

"She's fine for now, kid." I lied. She had been anything but fine. And she wouldn't be for a long time still. Ketch was keeping an eye on her as we sat here. I would make sure she had someone twenty-four-seven until I was sure she wouldn't try anything again. "You don't need to trouble yourself with that. I'm here now anyway."

"She's completely shattered, Alex." Ally's tone was sharp. "You didn't have to drive home with her as she cried in pain. There is more happening in her head than she will tell me. But she told you. I know she did. I want to help her." She sighed. "I need to help her. And I will find out how if you won't show me."

There was so much strength behind her words. So much determination. It worried me if I was being honest with myself. There was a new edge to her. Something that said she really would do whatever it cost to accomplish this new goal. Even if it cost her her life, she would do it. She had already given me her soul after all, so there was no reason to think she wouldn't go that far. 

They had taught her well. She was so strong and rebellious. A true fighter. She could bounce back from anything. Just like…almost like Elly.

"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves." I tried again.

"We have to start small." Jack agreed with a small nod. "You can't just rush these things."

"Watch me." And her eyes glowed a fierce, determined, electric blue.