Not My Sins

CHAPTER TWENTY 

 Rain opened her eyes wide in her bed, she rolled on her side and noticed that she was back in her room, a small frown crossed her face, and she didn't need to think too much about it, she knew Doni had brought her back into her chambers. 

 A small blush reached her cheeks as she remembered the incident of the previous night, she had confessed her feelings to him. But he didn't give her any answer, she turned again in her bed, he had told her about the reason he had attempted to kill her. 

 But he never told her the reason he decided to stop, could it be that it was because he cared about her too? To think about it, he had always appeared whenever she was in danger, he would come out of nowhere, that time with the wolves. 

 If he hadn't come that evening, she would have been a wolf snack, she felt the reason for his distance was because he was in turmoil.

He hated her because of her father but he also cared about her, it was still confusing for her, so she planned to go and see him so she could ask him questions. 

"Are you okay?" She heard Marine's voice and she jolted up in surprise, she had expected to be the only one in the room. "Are you awake my lady?" 

"Yes, I am." Rain answered as she sat up in the bed, ignoring the sharp pain in her leg, how could she forget, she got cut by the swing, she pulled the duvet away from her body and raised her skirt slightly, her wounds were already dressed but the pain was still there. "Thank you." 

She decided to thank the Marine for dressing her wounds for her, but instead of a word of appreciation, the Marine's head dropped down slightly. 

"Forgive me, my lady," She started in a small voice. "I wasn't the one who dressed your legs." 

"Then who did?" Rain was even more surprised than ever, there was no way they would summon a physician over such small wounds, it was something a maid in the household should know how to do. 

"The servant boy, Doni," Marine answered, but she raised her face slightly with a small frown now. "Don't you think you are being too careless, My lady, did you go to look for him last night?" 

Rain remained silent, being the only one she trusted she tended to tell Marine a lot of things, but she didn't tell her about the night of her assassination, Rain feared that Marine wouldn't keep quiet about it. 

"I went to the swing on the East side of the duchy." 

Upon hearing Rain's confession, Marine's eyes widened in surprise. 

"I told you, you can't go there my lady." She scolded. "That place is open even to the peasants in the estate, anything could happen to you. You weren't with any guard or protection, please." 

"I know it was dangerous," Rain answered with a small but remorseful smile on her face, she hated seeing the only person who cared about her angry like this. "But the swing was calming, and I was able to gather my thoughts there. Contrary to what you told me, the place was empty." 

"Yes, the place was empty because the swing had gone bad," She answered. "It would undergo maintenance as soon as the Duchess approved the request for the repair, so we were warned to not use it." 

"I didn't know," Rain shrugged. "I guess I was too careless again, I apologize for making you worried." 

"That's not the point, My lady." Marine sighed when she realized the girl thought she was mad. "I care about you a lot, but you don't know the kind of people that are in the Duchy, dangerous criminals live in here too, if you want to go somewhere like that, you have to go with a guard." 

"But you know the Duke hasn't appointed any guard to me." She protested timidly. 

"Then you can go to request for one," She advised. "The Duke will take you seriously only when you choose to do that to yourself first." 

 "I have to fight to get my right?" Rain asked curiously, but then it made sense, she had to fight to make herself a member of the family. That was why she was taken to the deserted and detached part of the estate even though there were so many rooms in the main building, where the servants could easily break in if they wanted. 

Just by climbing up the window, anyone could get into her room, and they didn't even assign any guard to her, to prevent an assault from happening. 

"Very well then," Rain hopped off the bed and strutted towards the window. The Duke has no use for a timid daughter, so he tells her to show him how much she can fight, fighting to gain the top and her position in the household.

She would become a daughter worthy of the name, she drew the curtains to her room allowing sunlight to flood into the room, and in the distance, she could see Doni doing his normal duties. 

All those years, she hadn't gotten a reason to go and look for him, but today she does, she would like to thank him for dressing her wound and the main reason was that she would like to get an answer to her question. 

"Father," Rain called boldly as she entered into the office of the Duke, the Duke was on his office chair, scribbling something in his notes, he didn't raise his head because he had a lot of work to do. 

"Yes, Lily, what do you want?" He asked still scribbling down on his book. 

"This isn't Lily, father." She answered and curiously, the Duke raised his head to be met by fiery green orbs that belonged to his other daughter, Rain, she had never come looking for him before, never. 

During her stay here, she had never complained about anything, and kept her distance from everyone and everything, even though she was smart. He had no use for her since she was so timid, he wanted her to be bold enough to request something herself but she had disappointed him in those nine years. 

 He was very surprised to see her in front of his table, with ambition burning in her green eyes. 

"Rain," He murmured pushing forward the ink stone on his gigantic mahogany table "To what do I owe your visit."

"I apologize for coming here unannounced." She stiffened when the cold hard stare of her father met hers, but she clenched her jaw trying her best to be as confident as she could. 

Marine had advised her to be fearless in the presence of the duke, being outspoken impressed him. 

"You may speak." He ordered dropping the brush in his hands, and then staring straight ahead at her as if he was trying to figure something out. 

"I want to learn horseback riding." She answered. "The books I have read in all of it, noble women are expected to learn how to ride horses before their coming of age ceremony." 

"Um..." He wasn't so surprised, but he was surprised she had decided to come to him after so many years for such a flimsy thing. "Lily learned how to ride horses when she turned 12, where were you then?" 

She froze for a while unable to answer, she understood what he meant by the statement, but she was unable to answer. 

After all, she didn't have any reasonable answer to give, would she have told him she was being a coward? Even though it seemed like it was something he already knew. He suddenly pushed the chair back and got up slowly stalking towards her. 

Her breathing ragged but she remained fused in one position, she didn't want to cower back anymore, the most he would do was refuse her. 

"Rain, Rain, Rain…" He picked a single strand of her hair and twirled it in his fingers. "You know why I took you in?" 

"No." she shivered slightly. 

"Because you remind me of my old self," He groaned softly, making me flinch slightly. "Poor, small, pitiful, but smart. I had everything to it takes to make a man but I was so poor." 

 Poor? The Duke has been poor before? He looked like someone who was born into royalty the way he carried himself. 

"When I saw you behind your mother for the first time, all I saw was myself before I became the Duke of Elderslot." He chuckled. "But that wasn't the reason I allowed you to remain." 

"What…" She muttered. 

"Because after all I hated myself," he confessed. "I hated myself for being so pitiful and poor, watching the noblemen's children live in luxury while I slept in the dirt, but thanks to that hatred, I was able to fight to the top." 

She remained silent, he reached for her face, held her chin, and tilted her face up. 

"But why don't I find the same fire in your eyes."