Solo For Two

Sasha stood behind the curtain, having just finished his performance.Beyond the curtain, the sound of continuous applause filled the air.There were whistles and shouts of Sasha’s name from the audience. With the curtain call seemingly endless, Sasha pushed the heavy red curtain aside and stepped out once more.As soon as Sasha appeared, the applause swelled like a wave. The stage lights from above were so bright that Sasha squinted his eyes. He looked at the seats filled up to the fifth floor, and even the standing-room area in the back was packed with people. He took in the faces of those who were watching him without even blinking.After finishing his bow and retreating behind the curtain again, the applause showed no sign of stopping.Just as Sasha was wiping the sweat from his chin and debating whether to answer another call, someone in the wings snapped their fingers to get his attention. It was Mikhail.“Sasha, you have a visitor. A very important one.”A visitor?“If you keep going out there to greet them, they’ll just keep clapping, trying to catch a glimpse of you. The journalists will write articles about how the curtain call record has been broken again. That record can wait until the final performance of the season. Come on, you need to greet your guest.”Curious, Sasha exited the stage through the wings. He passed by large and small props, makeup decorations, and headed toward the corridor leading to the dressing rooms.For some reason, his heart pounded with anticipation. He hurried to the dressing room of the principal dancers, and when he opened the door, he was overwhelmed with joy and surprise.A figure in a long coat and officer’s uniform was waiting inside. Sasha recognized him immediately, even from the way he stood.“Karel?”Karel turned to face him at the sound of the door opening, his gaze meeting Sasha’s.“You came. Thank you for coming, Karel.”“Sasha…”Sasha, filled with happiness, practically threw himself into Karel’s arms. Just having him there made Sasha forget all the time he had spent waiting.Yet, Karel’s expression was one of pain.“I’m sorry for making you wait. I’m really sorry for leaving you alone.”Karel’s tears fell thick and fast. He looked down at Sasha, unable to take his eyes off him, as if afraid to blink. Each time he blinked, large tears rolled down his face.“What are you saying? I’m just happy you’re here.”Karel’s hand gently brushed Sasha’s sweat-dampened hair aside. Seeing his fingers tremble uncontrollably, Sasha felt a pang in his heart.“Did you read my letter?”“Yes, I did.”“I was worried… worried that you might not want to see me again.”Karel bit his lip and closed his eyes. As Sasha traced the tears wetting Karel’s golden eyelashes with his fingertips, he asked:“I actually wanted to write that we should meet again, but… I was too ashamed, having left you behind.”“Don’t say that. Don’t feel guilty, Sasha.”“…”“Don’t blame yourself, and don’t feel sorry.”“…”“It was my fault for finding out too late… I was too late…”Karel’s words, choked out between sobs, gently soothed Sasha’s heart. The past, which had been lodged deep within like a thorn, was gradually being pulled out by Karel’s words.“Why did you protect me?”Sasha was slightly taken aback by Karel’s question. He hadn’t expected Karel to know about the interrogation.“Why did you do it? You should have abandoned me.”“…”“You should have denied me… the person who left you with nothing but pain…”Why didn’t you hate me for leaving like that? Karel’s whispered words, filled with tears, were met with Sasha’s unwavering response.“Because I love you.”“…”“Just as you did…”Sasha felt Karel’s hand on his cheek. The hand wasn’t wearing gloves. Feeling the warmth of Karel’s touch after so long, Sasha felt so at ease that he thought he might fall asleep.“Karel, by the way, didn’t you bring any flowers?”Karel’s eyes widened slightly at Sasha’s words.“You said you’d bring a bouquet the next time you came to see my performance.”Suddenly, Karel pulled Sasha into a tight embrace. One of Sasha’s shoulders quickly became soaked with Karel’s tears. Shaking and occasionally letting out sobs like gasps, Karel held on as if he couldn’t let go. Sasha, unsure of what to do, awkwardly patted his back.On a small ship, Karel, who had rescued Sasha by disguising himself as a French officer, was still unable to shed his uniform even as they headed for America.However, seeing Karel in his military uniform, Sasha seemed to believe that he had come to see him as promised, with a bouquet in hand.Karel was overwhelmed with emotion, realizing how close he had come to failing to fulfill this one simple wish.He held Sasha even tighter, almost as if he couldn’t breathe.＊ ＊ ＊Three weeks of confinement had ended in an escape. The moment Sasha’s long-held tension began to fade, he closed his eyes, overcome with sleep.Even in his dreams, Sasha could still feel the warmth of the arms wrapped tightly around him.The lamp in the cabin swayed and creaked as the ship rocked. They were still in their wet clothes, having jumped into the sea to evade pursuit during their escape.Sasha kept shivering, likely from the cold. Karel, who had been gently brushing the salt-crusted hair and sand-dusted cheeks of Sasha, stopped and carefully removed Sasha’s wet clothes. After drying him off, Karel laid him down on the dry bed.Whenever Sasha felt someone watching, he would look up to find Karel, who had been nodding off, now wide awake and watching over him.It was unclear whether Sasha was seeing the Karel of the present or the Karel of some moment in the past.Because of this, Karel hesitated to speak, merely mouthing the words.“Sleep some more.”Even as his eyelids grew heavy, Sasha smiled, comforted by the sight of Karel watching over him. He felt reassured by Karel’s hand, softly patting his chest, and fell asleep again.On the first day of departure, the ship carrying the two of them safely left the territorial waters of France.＊ ＊ ＊Two days earlier.On the morning of his execution day, Karel had secretly entered a port in England. After crossing from San Francisco to New York, he had arranged to board a Blue Ribbon ship instead of a regular passenger liner, cutting the travel time in half. From the port in England, it took only two hours by speedboat to reach the French coast.He had chosen not to enter France directly from America to avoid the surveillance of Austria, who would be waiting for Scar and Rambouillet’s return from their honeymoon. Sasha’s execution date coincided with the couple’s return, which turned out to be a blessing, as it allowed the surveillance to be focused in one place. The newlyweds were scheduled to arrive at the Côte d’Azur port in southern France on a luxurious ship.“De Beauharnais?”Someone called out to him using a name unfamiliar to Karel. He simply nodded lightly, keeping his gaze lowered beneath his hat.“It’s been a while since you returned to Paris.”The immigration officer, seeing the family name, opened the gate without hesitation. Thus, Karel calmly walked out of the exclusive entry hall reserved for the upper class.Though he was already aware of it, Karel marveled at the power of the name “de Beauharnais” in France. With this identity, he was able to reach the prison in the suburbs of Paris by the fastest route possible. It was much easier than entering illegally.Karel recalled someone he had met just before departing from New York.‘You’re planning to enter Paris by ship from England?’‘Yes, that’s the plan.’Rambouillet de Beauharnais, who had secretly aided Karel’s entry into France, had been in a brief strategic alliance with him until recently.‘Then take this passport with you. It belongs to my cousin who is studying in America. With the de Beauharnais name, no one will be able to bind your feet.’Karel had been taken aback by her words, having not expected to receive any assistance from her in any form.Perhaps sensing the complex emotions etched on his stern face, she continued.‘I still haven’t repaid you.’She raised her chin slightly, her eyes lowered.It seemed that Rambouillet had kept a debt in her heart, feeling that she needed to repay Karel for the marriage that had saved her life. Although the things exchanged during their marriage had already become irrelevant and the arrangement was effectively annulled.‘I don’t know if you realize it, but I learned how to repay debts exactly from Sedrin.’Thus, Rambouillet mentioned an event she had intended to keep secret until the end.She had once given Sasha a ring, urging him to escape while hoping her love would be fulfilled. She had believed that once Karel’s object of affection was gone, her turn might come. She was only twenty at the time.‘At the Côte d’Azur… I gave him a diamond ring and told him to run away. But he kept it all that time, and after three years, returned it to me when he left for Paris.’‘…’‘At the time, I thought he was a foolish and strange man…’A bitter smile appeared on Rambouillet’s face.Karel imagined the history between Rambouillet and Sasha, of which he had been unaware. It was not just a simple past for her. It seemed she wanted to close that chapter as one would tear out a wrongly written page from a book.‘One unfortunate thing is that I don’t quite remember what words I used to criticize Sedrin back then…’‘…’‘But I do remember his expression.’Karel recalled a face that seemed to claim what was his, dark and pale.It was an expression Karel had never expected to see from Sasha. Long ago, when Sasha was living under the patronage of the Grand Duke in the strict Imperial Ballet, he had been nothing more than a taciturn and obedient young man. Rambouillet realized then how much love had changed that man. Karel had succeeded in transforming unrequited love into mutual affection.Rambouillet looked up at the man before her, the same man she had once wished to possess.As they stood by the harbor, a sea breeze blew.For reasons she couldn’t fully explain, Rambouillet felt a sudden sense of relief.‘If Sasha remembers what happened back then and asks about me, just tell him that I was simply repaying a debt in the right way.’Even in her final words, she maintained her dignity. Years had passed, and Rambouillet was no longer the young girl of twenty, but she remained mature and beautiful.Everyone moves on, changing with the memories of the past.Karel nodded at her words. She gave him a slight curtsy, then turned and left the harbor.Leaving yet another part of the past behind, Karel boarded the ship.＊ ＊ ＊The day of the execution, 4:00 PM.At Karel’s request, two apostles who had arranged for a ship in advance were waiting for him at the harbor.If the mission failed, it was uncertain whether only Karel would return or if no one would show up at the harbor at all.Before entering the prison, Karel had instructed them that if he did not arrive on time, it meant something had gone wrong, and if Sasha was lost, Karel would take his own life. In that case, the others were to depart and save themselves.A few minutes passed, and still no one had appeared at the harbor, so they launched the ship early. This was out of concern that the French authorities, having caught wind of Sasha’s escape, might calculate their arrival time and block the harbor.After another ten minutes with no sign of Karel, those on the ship waited another ten minutes, holding onto a faint hope as they drifted on the sea.“There…!”It was only thirty minutes after the agreed time that the apostles spotted two figures throwing themselves into the sea, not at the harbor, but on a distant shore.The ship approached the shore, and they quickly deployed a small boat to retrieve Karel and Sasha.At the same time, the two prison guards who had been covering their escape discarded their uniforms as soon as they saw the ship picking up speed. These guards were French soldiers who had been converted to the left by the apostles’ influence.Meanwhile, other apostles who had joined Georg at the castle swiftly spread a new issue through the yellow press. This was Karel’s final trump card, which he had held onto since his days as a spy—an exposé on the political corruption of the French Consul.The Consul had extended his rule by falsely accusing and executing political opponents as spies. The yellow press provided evidence of one such innocent minister from a noble background who had been wrongfully accused.[Innocent Minister Executed on Spy Charges.]Though it was just a yellow press, Karel’s gossip publication had a fervent readership that trusted it, thanks to its history of proving sensational rumors about celebrities true. As a result, the public didn’t dismiss it as a mere rumor but took it seriously.Moreover, the real scandal spread by the yellow press soon triggered traditional media to uncover additional evidence. The public’s outrage was explosive. The price of attempting to return to monarchy in a republic born of revolution was steep. The Consul, along with some marshals and officers who had zealously tried to curry favor with him, went into hiding.At this point, some began to think of Sasha Sedrin.The French government, which had publicly executed Mata Hari as a “show,” had not reported on Sasha Sedrin’s case, leading to growing curiosity.Initially, the French government tried to suppress news of Sasha Sedrin’s escape to cover up the prison’s lax security. However, as word spread that innocent people had been executed on false charges of espionage, both the press and those monitoring the government’s actions began to consider other possibilities.One possibility was that the French government, having executed the innocent Sasha Sedrin, had deliberately concealed this fact to hide their shame.If not, why else would they not report his execution?Thus, the public concocted yet another conspiracy theory. They believed there was no other explanation for why the French government had not reported Sasha Sedrin’s execution. Rumors quickly spread that, having already carried out the firing squad, the French government had hidden Sasha’s body out of fear of the backlash.The image of a free nation, which had guaranteed the success of an exile from Russia, was severely tarnished.At the same time, the life of a beautiful dancer, who had become a victim of political issues, was tragically consumed. Some who didn’t believe in the tragedy tried to imagine a happy ending. Rumors spread that a wealthy magnate had paid a fortune to rescue and kidnap him, or that the countries that had used him as a spy had struck a deal with France and already sent him to another country.Regardless of the truth, many in Paris felt a deep sense of loss at the possibility of never seeing Sasha Sedrin on stage again.Meanwhile, Sasha was lying in a cabin on a small ship, sailing in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.It was the fifth day since their departure.＊ ＊ ＊Sasha couldn’t sleep for long stretches, waking up every two to three hours, and each time, he would search for Karel. Seeing the faint anxiety in his eyes, Karel would stop whatever he was doing, whether drying clothes or cleaning, and sit by Sasha’s side again.“Can’t sleep?”“It’s not that…”Sasha would simply look up at Karel without saying more.His memories still lingered in Karel’s house in Paris.In Sasha’s imagination, Karel was just about to leave the house. Whenever Karel left so early in the morning, he would lock Sasha in the room and not return until he had finished his day.“Will you be back before sunset today too?”“…”Karel realized that Sasha was hallucinating. Though he often couldn’t distinguish between reality and illusion, Sasha still believed in the presence of Karel beside him.Understanding that this belief stemmed from love and trust brought a heavy ache to Karel’s chest.Karel shook his head quietly.“No?”“I’ll be with you all day.”Only then did Sasha’s expression show relief.“Then lie down beside me.”Sasha had probably wanted to say this from the beginning.Karel guessed that Sasha, who had never been good at asking for things, was shy to ask him to lie next to him or hold him. Sasha had never been skilled at demanding what he deserved. Feeling both tenderness and sadness, Karel lay down beside him and embraced him.“I won’t go anywhere. I’ll keep holding you like this.”Sasha nodded and nestled into Karel’s arms.From now on, Sasha would repeatedly retreat into moments of the past. If Karel had to relive all those moments, he considered it a blessing.He wanted to heal each of Sasha’s memories, one by one.And if he could be reborn, he would stay by Sasha’s side through every moment of his life.By the side of young Sasha, who was quiet and shy, he would become Sasha’s best friend, ensuring that this affectionate child could feel and express love fully. He would walk alongside Sasha when he had to make the lonely journey, kilometers away, to learn ballet. He would be there with him when he faced humiliation from the duke or when he cried after losing his family. And when the time came for him to cross the border and head to Paris…Tears welled up in Karel’s closed eyes once again.He knew that someone who remembers all the moments of the past and their actions must revisit painful memories for the sake of their loved ones.On the seventh day of the voyage, Karel thanked God that he still had a chance.And on the morning of the tenth day of the voyage.Early in the morning, someone knocked on the cabin door from outside.“Are you awake?”“Yes, you may come in.”A sailor opened the door and spoke with a cheerful face.“You’ve waited a long time, haven’t you? We’ll be docking in about three hours.”“Can you see the land?”“Yes, would you like to take a look?”Sasha’s face lit up with excitement at the sailor’s visit. Karel, seeing that Sasha wanted to feel the fresh air outside, took him up to the deck. As they climbed the swaying ship’s stairs, Karel would hold Sasha’s hand or firmly support his waist whenever he wobbled. Each time, Sasha would step up the stairs with a lively expression.When they reached the deck, a strong sea breeze, full of salt, tousled Sasha’s hair.Sasha gazed in awe at the low, fluffy clouds and the bright, clear sky, tinged with a faint pink hue of dawn.“We must have come really far. Even the clouds look different from the ones I used to see.”Karel nodded.The vast, untamed land and the energy of a newly born city, America, were spread out beyond the horizon. Sasha squinted to see the land that was still just a faint line in the distance. Knowing that Sasha wanted to see it more clearly, Karel asked a sailor to bring a telescope. Sasha fiddled with the heavy military telescope and then brought it to his eye.“Close your left eye and adjust the focus like this.”“Oh…”As Karel stood behind him and adjusted the telescope for his vision, Sasha let out a small exclamation. After a moment, Sasha pulled his eyes away from the telescope, and Karel took it from him. Despite his lips being chilled by the cold wind, Sasha didn’t seem to have any intention of going back to the cabin.Instead of urging him, Karel embraced him from behind, sharing his warmth.“Will they really accept me?” Sasha’s voice was filled with curiosity rather than fear as he asked this. Karel kissed the top of his head and answered,“I believe in your worth.”From Sasha’s calm breathing and clear eyes, Karel knew that Sasha was seeing reality at that moment, not hallucinations.It happened last night.Before falling asleep, Karel felt Sasha’s weak, trembling breath next to him.Reacting quickly, Karel lifted the blanket and tried to look at Sasha’s face.‘Why are you crying?’But Sasha seemed to find even Karel’s gentle question and touch overwhelming. When Sasha pushed Karel’s hand away and buried himself in the blanket, Karel hesitated, unsure of how to proceed.‘Propose to me too.’‘Sasha?’‘How could you… be so selfish…’Sasha couldn’t continue and began sobbing loudly, hiding himself under the blanket and glaring at Karel. It was then that Karel realized Sasha had returned to the moment when he first heard about Karel’s marriage.It seemed that hallucinations weren’t about fully returning to the past but rather mixing the past with reality. Sasha was aware that they had escaped from France and were on a ship, yet he was still heartbroken over being Karel’s mistress. It made it difficult to calm him down logically.Sasha was afraid that once they left the ship, Karel would leave him behind. At the same time, Sasha tried to make sense of why Karel, who had married, would still come to rescue him, likely convincing himself that Karel still desired his body.This logic made perfect sense in Sasha’s mind, which is why he suddenly tried to undress. Despite his tears and distress, he was still trying to please Karel.Karel hugged the desperate Sasha tightly and whispered,‘Calm down… calm down. I’m not going anywhere.’Once Sasha had calmed down enough to breathe normally, Karel gently kissed him to reassure him. He kept stroking Sasha’s hair, and soon Sasha, drained from crying, relaxed his body. Karel carefully lay down with him, still holding him close. Even as they lay side by side, Sasha didn’t want to take his eyes off Karel.‘I wish I could just close my eyes and never wake up.’Finally, calm, Sasha spoke in a composed voice.Karel was silent for a while before carefully asking why.‘So that you’ll go back to your wife.’Sasha longed for this voyage to continue, for the small peace of the cabin to last. In those moments, he could have Karel all to himself.Karel was at a loss for words, hearing Sasha speak as if it was inevitable that Karel would leave him, as if Sasha’s sole purpose in life was to be abandoned.Sasha had always been easily influenced. It was Karel who had once assured him with vows of love that he would never leave, and it was also Karel who had shattered those expectations.Perhaps this guilt was something he would have to atone for all his life.‘Sasha, the truth is… I didn’t get married.’‘What do you mean? I saw the ceremony…’Karel first tried to explain to Sasha that what he saw was a sham wedding. This was so that Scar could shed his identity and seek refuge in America, and once settled, be ready to naturally welcome Sasha, who had ended his career as a dancer.However, upon hearing facts that contradicted his own logic, Sasha’s breathing began to quicken again.‘It’s strange, I was definitely at the wedding…. Georg said he got fired for sneaking me into the wedding.’When Sasha, who had just been calmed down, began to fret again, Karel stopped explaining. Now was the time to alleviate Sasha’s anxiety. The truth could be told much later, when Sasha was healthy enough to understand.And if, for any reason, Sasha couldn’t accept his plan, it was his own fault for not understanding the heart of the one he loved. So Karel decided to delay explaining that the wedding performed under Scar’s false identity had no legal effect and why they had staged the sham wedding. Explaining now would just seem like self-justification.Karel gazed into Sasha’s eyes. Sasha’s expression finally showed a hint of relief in the face of Karel’s deeply trusting look.‘Sasha, I realize now that I made a terrible mistake. You’re the only one I love….’‘Are you saying the marriage was without love?’Sasha’s eyes showed a hint of shock.‘What about your wife?’‘It’s my fault, so I’ll take responsibility for those hurt by me. But Sasha, even in this situation, you’re worried about Madame Rambouillet?’Karel asked bitterly, caressing Sasha’s unselfish cheek.‘What do you mean by taking responsibility? Are you….’Sasha asked with trembling lips, uttering for the first time the word he’d dreamed of.‘Are you getting a divorce?’Sasha, accustomed to being hurt, imagined Karel’s face hardening at his words, and coldly pushing him away, telling him to know his place as a mistress.But the real Karel was different from Sasha’s imagination. He did none of that, instead lightly kissing Sasha’s lips and answering.‘Yes…. Actually, I’m already divorced.’‘Really?’‘I ended everything before coming to save you.’At this, Sasha tried hard not to show too much joy, considering the sorrow of the woman left behind.‘…Really? Did she accept it?’Karel recalled his last moments with Rambouillet. A woman who had returned a greater reward than the life he had given her.‘Yes.’‘…….’‘You’re the only one in my life now, so please don’t leave me.’At his words, Sasha suddenly felt a flash of clarity.Forgotten scenes, sounds, and sensations flooded back.Realizing these things one after another felt like a newly opened perception.Moments briefly forgotten surged over him like a tidal wave.‘It will be over soon.’Just when he thought his life would end, the green-eyed man who miraculously came to save him, the hands of the guards holding him firmly in the wooden chair.Thinking back, those hands were not tying him down but supporting him as if to protect him.The green-eyed man in a military uniform took the gun prepared on the execution platform. Sasha wanted to call his name but was worried about the guards. He didn’t know whether to call him Karel or Scar.While Sasha hesitated, he remembered the shiny muzzle of the gun momentarily aiming at him, then pointing skyward.Three gunshots rang out into the air. The sound tearing through the sky made Sasha faint.At the vivid memory that swept over him briefly, Sasha gasped for breath. He felt Karel’s hand on his back, trying to calm him.‘So that touch was also….’Sasha remembered the sensation of being rocked as if lying in a cradle.That must have been the carriage taking them to the port after escaping prison. Even there, Karel had held him close. Sasha had sunk into deep unconsciousness, using Karel’s whispered words as a lullaby.The rustle of papers being turned, Karel and unfamiliar men—likely guards—talking, and the tender touch on his cheek.Karel’s voice was heard.‘Sasha, why didn’t you leave me?’Three gunshots.Startled by the gunfire, Sasha fainted and lost consciousness. A disguised guard supported his limp body. Meanwhile, another guard approached Karel and handed him a file.“We have retrieved all interrogation records and evidence regarding Sasha Sedrin.”“The new fabricated report has been filled in, correct?”“Of course.”The file contained the records of Sasha’s three-week detention and interrogation. Karel took the relatively thin file.Karel had reconstructed Sasha’s report based on the documents of a minister who had been wrongly accused and executed for espionage. The entire report was fabricated to prove Sasha’s innocence. The fake report stated that Sasha had neither engaged in espionage activities nor admitted to them.Now, the French government and the Austrian secret intelligence agency could not openly pursue charges against the escaped exile. They couldn’t use the ‘innocent’ testimonies in an international trial or spread it in the media.Karel, who had once worked under Colonel Armand and infiltrated deep into the French secret intelligence, knew the intelligence system better than the mediocre soldiers. Operating as a point organization, identifying each other through codes and evidence rather than faces, made infiltrating the prison somewhat easier.