Chapter 74
I saw myself. With the same face as if looking in the mirror, she said with mockery, ‘You still can’t do anything.’
I shook my head.
No. That’s not right.
My eyes wavered as if fluttering in the wind.
Her eyes wavered. I almost couldn’t save Jack, who helped me.
No. I saved his life.
I’m sure I managed to put his life on the line. Jack is not dead yet. Although my holy power didn’t come out as much as I expected, I saved his life.
But myself in the mirror continued to move her mouth, ‘What are you going to do if the holy power you are strongly confident with doesn’t manifest again? ‘
…What?
‘What if Magorit manages to poison Merilly?’ In the mirror, my reflection raised the tail of her mouth diagonally.
I gasped at it, feeling goosebumps spread all over my body.
‘What if you can’t use holy power?’
I had to retort those words. But no words came out, as if my tongue had been paralyzed.
‘You’re going to leave those evil people alone?’
There are good people too.
‘You can just kill everything that stands in your way.’
I can’t kill everyone…!
‘Why are you trying to take the difficult path instead of taking the easy path? Let’s take the easy path. Endimion, Kriella, and Magorit…’
My appearance in the mirror began to become blurry. The voice, which had been whispering to me as if tempting me, also faded away from my ears. But I could hear the last words clearly.
‘Let’s brutally kill them.’
“
Ummm…
”
Along with the distant voice, my eyes slowly opened.
“Are you okay?”
“Frinel…?”
Seeing an unexpected face, I slowly rose. Looking at the day, it was clear; it seemed like I had slept all day.
“How…”
“I came to see you, and I found you collapsed in front of Merilly.”
“Merilly… she must have been very surprised. Ah, that Jack…”
“Merilly is fine. I heard from the head maid that the coachman named Jack had also overcome his crisis.”
“
Fyu,
I’m glad.”
Only then did I droop down my tense shoulders as if I was relieved.
Frinel looked at me intently and then smirked. “I’m good at seeing people.”
“What do you mean?”
“You.” He spoke slowly with a soft smile on his lips. “They said you couldn’t trust anyone when humans betrayed you. But you end up trying to help even people you don’t even know very well.”
Handing a warm cup of tea to me, Frinel added. “Is it inevitable since you’re descendants of the Shinsu clan?”
“It was said that Shinsu calls all loved humans…”
“That’s right.”
“That, Frinel.”
“Yes?”
I asked vaguely as I received the teacup. “Are there any more historical records left in the imperial family about the Shinsu clan?”
“Why all of a sudden?”
“I was wondering if there would be other information about my power based on vitality.”
His eyes squinted sideways at my words. “Something must have happened.”
I nodded my head slightly at his sharp look. “Magorit suddenly went crazy in pain, and my holy power couldn’t be used to heal the injured Jack.”
“You couldn’t use… your holy power?”
“…Yes.”
“
Hmm…
”
Frinel tilted his head as if surprised, rubbing his chin and thinking. He thought about something for a while and then opened his mouth. “Did anything special happen?”
“
Umm… Ah
…!”
I sipped the tea Frinel had given me and soon put down the teacup as I remembered something.
“I hate Magorit so much that I wondered if I should kill her at that time…”
“Haven’t you always thought like that?”
“And I wondered why good people should be subjected to this and live like this… The thought of hating humans…”
After listening to me, he carefully parted his lips as if he had finally found the answer. “…
Um,
Lady Lobelia.”
“Yes?”
“As you know, when the Shinsu clan was guarding the Tiazen Empire, they loved humans very much.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Isn’t your holy power based on that love?”
“
Ah
…?”
My mouth opened slightly at his point. Now that I think about it, when Magorit was in front of me, my murderous intent was constantly boiling in my heart as if it were a fire.
“I think so too. I think I also felt like… I hated all humans. I shouldn’t be like that.”
“Why not?”
“…Not all humans are wrong. I only need to hate the people who have sinned against me.”
I lowered my head. When I saw Jack getting hit, I got angry for a moment and started to have feelings that I shouldn’t have.
I’m Merilly’s mother.
At least I didn’t want to be a shameful parent to my child. I let out a heavy sigh and slowly closed my tired eyes.
“Don’t try too hard to let go of your hatred, Lady Lobelia.” As if to read my mind, Frinel gently grabbed my fair hand. “There is no innocent person in the world. Even my mother, whom I loved, must have hated at least one person.”
With his warm words, warmth rushed into my hand.
“I know very well how painful it is to hate people. But…” He continued speaking. “It’s equally difficult to find a justification and try to forgive.”
“Your Royal Highness…”
“Let’s just let the waves flow. If you hate it, just hate it. If you don’t like it, don’t like it. Then, when you feel at ease…” Frinel trailed off slightly but then slowly concluded his words. “You can put it down a little bit then.” The corners of his mouth drew a smooth line.
I gulped dry saliva at that sweet and kind voice without realizing it. I could feel my cheeks heating up.
“Lady Lobelia.”
“…Yes.”
My heart was pounding so fast that I could barely make a sound.
“I support everything you do, but,” Frinel added, completely unaware of my situation. “I just hope that road is not too tiring for you.”
“…Really, you…”
My moist eyes finally looked at him clearly.
“Every day, you seduced me like that…”
“…It wasn’t seduction, it was comf—” He was about to say ‘comforting’ when something stopped his words.
My soft, tear-soaked lips gently brushed against Frinel’s cheek and then pulled away. A slight sound of a kiss could be heard, and I raised my body, which had been lowered.
“La-Lady Lobelia?” His shocked eyes were shaking like crazy.
“…Thank you for comforting me.” I smiled lightly, wiping away the tears left on my cheek. “I really mean it. If it weren’t for you, I might really hate all human beings.”
“Lady Lobelia…” Frinel stepped closer to me with a dazed face as if he were about to kiss me at any moment. “Then do you accept my heart?”
At his low, languid voice, I closed my eyes tightly. I let out a deep breath and stopped his approaching body. “…No. I’m sorry, but not yet.”
His shaking eyes were like my heart.
“I’m not sure of my heart. And about your love too.”
Even though I knew he was someone I could trust, I still felt pain because of the deep wound that Endimion had placed in my heart. It meant that I wasn’t ready to accept anyone yet.
“I’m sorry, Your Royal Highness.”
“Don’t say sorry.”
The atmosphere between us subsided darkly. Frinel just slightly raised the tail of his mouth.
“You didn’t push me away.” In an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, he continued jokingly. “This is usually called… ‘postponing’.”
“…But postponing doesn’t necessarily mean acceptance.”
“No way.” Frinel pushed his face all the way near me. “With someone as outstanding as me, choosing ‘rejection’ over ‘acceptance’ is unthinkable.” His smile shone brilliantly like a rainbow.
I eventually burst into laughter. “…Anyway, you’re really shameless.”
“First of all, I have something to do in the capital today, so I think I’ll have to go.”
“Capital?”
“Yes. I think everything will go well because you kissed me.”
“…You’re misunderstood. It was just, you know, a gesture of gratitude…”
“Okay, okay. Not a kiss, but a peck.”
“Your Royal Highness!”
Frinel playfully stroked his cheek as I blushed and raised my voice. “I’ll cherish your encouragement in my heart.” He winked and left the room.
As soon as Frinel went out, I pulled the blanket up to my chest. “Really, he’s so annoying…”
But contrary to my grumbling, my heart was already heated up beyond my control.