The Lazy Chronicles: Apartment of the Apocalypse

Mallory sat cross-legged on the couch, her tablet resting on her lap as the cheerful notification chime echoed through the living room. Her patience, which was already paper-thin, was now officially non-existent.

New Feature Unlocked: Customizable Indoor Environments

"What fresh nonsense is this?" Mallory muttered, opening the details.

The screen displayed a dazzling array of options for altering the apartment's interior settings. Themes like "Tropical Paradise," "Victorian Manor," and even "Outer Space" were listed, complete with accompanying music and ambient effects.

"Great," Mallory grumbled. "Now my apartment thinks it's a theme park."

Alex, seated nearby and sharpening a knife, leaned over to peek at the screen. "Outer Space could be fun. Maybe zero gravity?"

Mallory shot them a withering glare. "No. Absolutely not. I don't want to float around while Greg turns into the first man to puke in orbit."

---

Speaking of Greg, he chose that exact moment to barrel into the room, clutching what appeared to be a large plastic egg.

"Mallory!" he shouted, waving the egg like a trophy. "You're not going to believe this!"

Mallory pinched the bridge of her nose. "Greg, if that's some kind of zombie egg, I swear—"

"No, no!" Greg interrupted, placing the egg on the coffee table. "It's from the kitchen! The fridge gave it to me!"

Alex raised an eyebrow. "The fridge is giving out… eggs now?"

Mallory frowned at the object. It was oversized, neon pink, and had a faint glow. Definitely not your average chicken egg. She checked the tablet again, scrolling through the latest updates.

Mystery Egg Activated: Incubation in Progress. Caution Advised.

"Caution advised?" Mallory read aloud, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Why do I feel like this is going to end badly?"

Greg was already poking at the egg, his face lit with childlike wonder. "What do you think is inside? A baby dinosaur? A robot? Oh! Maybe a zombie chicken!"

Alex snorted. "Let's hope it's not the last one."

Mallory sighed and leaned back. "Fine. Let it hatch. Just don't blame me when it eats your face."

---

The egg began to tremble an hour later. By then, Greg had gathered all the survivors in the living room for what he dramatically called "The Event." Mallory sat at the edge of the group, arms crossed, wishing she could evaporate.

The egg wobbled violently, emitting a strange humming sound. Finally, with a loud crack, the shell split open, and a puff of glittery smoke filled the air.

"What… is that?" Alex asked, squinting through the haze.

When the smoke cleared, a small, round creature sat in the middle of the table. It looked like a cross between a hamster and a jellybean, with bright blue fur, enormous eyes, and tiny wings that flapped excitedly.

Greg's jaw dropped. "It's… adorable!"

The creature chirped happily and leapt into Greg's lap, nuzzling against his chest.

Mallory stared in disbelief. "My apartment just gave birth to a flying puffball. Great. Just great."

Alex leaned closer, observing the creature. "It doesn't look dangerous."

At that moment, the puffball opened its mouth and let out an ear-splitting screech that rattled the windows.

Greg winced, clutching his ears. "Okay, maybe a little dangerous."

The puffball then zoomed around the room at lightning speed, knocking over lamps, scattering cushions, and sending Marvin's can of peaches flying across the room.

Mallory sighed heavily, grabbing her tablet. "Of course it has a warning label. Let's see… 'Caution: Prone to Sudden Energy Bursts. Keep away from fragile objects.' Too late for that."

---

The survivors decided to keep the puffball, which Greg affectionately named "Blinky." Mallory, naturally, wanted nothing to do with it, but she was outvoted.

Blinky, however, proved to be more trouble than anyone expected.

"Why is it eating the curtains?" Mallory shouted one morning, watching as Blinky happily gnawed on the fabric.

Greg shrugged. "Maybe it's hungry?"

"It has a bowl of snacks right there!" Mallory pointed to a pile of brightly colored pellets the fridge had dispensed.

Blinky ignored the food and flapped onto the bookshelf, where it began chewing on one of Mallory's few prized possessions: a hardcover edition of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

"That's it!" Mallory snapped, lunging for the creature. "No one messes with my books!"

Blinky chirped and zipped out of reach, leaving Mallory sprawled on the floor. Alex tried—and failed—to hide their laughter.

"Looks like you've met your match," they teased.

Mallory glared at them. "Not funny."

---

Later that day, the apartment's alarm blared, signaling another wave of zombies outside. But when Mallory checked the security feed, she froze.

The zombies weren't attacking. Instead, they were… dancing?

Alex peered over her shoulder. "What in the world?"

The feed showed a group of zombies swaying awkwardly to music that seemed to come from nowhere. One zombie spun in a clumsy pirouette before crashing into a lamppost.

The tablet chimed:

New Feature Unlocked: Zombie Disco Mode. Current Status: Active.

Mallory stared at the screen, her mouth agape. "Zombie Disco Mode? Are you kidding me?"

Greg, of course, thought it was the greatest thing ever. "This is amazing! Can we add strobe lights?"

"No!" Mallory snapped. "We're not turning this into a zombie night club!"

Alex grinned. "Too late. Looks like your apartment already did."

---

That night, Mallory sat alone in her room, staring at the ceiling. Her once-peaceful life had devolved into a circus of glowing eggs, flying puffballs, and dancing zombies.

She grabbed her tablet and typed into the search bar: "How to evict unwanted survivors and pets."

The screen responded cheerfully: "No eviction necessary! Your apartment thrives on community."

Mallory groaned, tossing the tablet onto the bed. "I need a vacation."

Just then, the tablet beeped again. Mallory hesitated before picking it up.

New Feature Unlocked: Virtual Escape Room.

Her eyes narrowed. "Virtual escape room?"

She tapped on the notification, and the room around her shimmered. Within seconds, she was standing in a tropical beach setting, complete with the sound of waves and the smell of saltwater.

For a brief, blissful moment, Mallory felt at peace.

Then Greg's voice echoed through the simulation. "Whoa! This is awesome! Can I bring Blinky in here?"

Mallory sighed deeply, dropping onto the virtual sand. "I can't win."

---

To Be Continued...