The Perverted Jester of Chaos: Reborn to Clown Around

Chapter 18: The Mysterious Rooftop Stalker and Blobby's Terrible Advice

"Let me set the scene: the moon is high, shadows are long, and I'm on my way home after another ridiculous day. What could possibly go wrong? Oh wait, did you hear that ominous laugh in the background? Yeah, same. Welcome to my life."

---

I'm walking home, minding my own business, when I feel it.

A prickling sensation on the back of my neck.

Someone's watching me.

---

"Alright, whoever you are, make this quick!" I shout, spinning around.

Nothing. Just the empty street and the sound of a distant cat meowing.

---

Blobby pokes out of my bag. "Boss, are you okay? You're acting paranoid again."

"Paranoid?" I scoff. "I've fought soup monsters, magical swordsmen, and a guy who tried to barbecue me with paprika. Excuse me for being cautious."

---

Blobby flutters around, scanning the area. "Hmm… I don't sense anything. Maybe you're just tired?"

"Or maybe I'm about to be ambushed," I mutter.

---

As if on cue, a figure drops from the rooftop, landing gracefully in front of me.

Tall, cloaked in shadow, and radiating ominous energy. Classic villain vibes.

---

"Akira Tanaka," they say, their voice low and chilling. "We finally meet."

"Do we?" I reply, crossing my arms. "Because I don't remember RSVPing to a rooftop stalker party."

Blobby gasps. "Ooooh, this is exciting!"

---

The figure steps closer, their features hidden beneath a hood.

"I've been watching you," they say.

"Creepy," I deadpan. "Ever heard of personal space?"

---

They ignore me, raising their hand to reveal a glowing symbol—a jagged mark pulsing with dark energy.

"You possess power far beyond what you let on," they say. "And that makes you dangerous."

"Dangerous? Me?" I laugh, gesturing to myself. "Buddy, I'm just a high schooler with bad luck and a talking blob."

---

Blobby puffs up indignantly. "Hey! I'm more than a blob!"

The figure glares at Blobby. "And that…thing. What is it?"

"I'm his loyal sidekick!" Blobby chirps. "And also his biggest fan!"

"Fan?" I repeat, horrified. "Blobby, we've talked about this."

---

The figure doesn't seem amused.

"Enough games," they say, summoning a blade of crackling energy. "Show me your true strength!"

"Why does everyone want to fight me today?" I groan.

---

Narration Mode Activated

"Seriously, is there some kind of underground betting ring about how quickly I can take someone down? Because if so, I want a cut."

---

The figure lunges at me, their blade slicing through the air.

I dodge easily, yawning for dramatic effect.

"Really? This is your big move?"

---

They growl, unleashing a barrage of attacks. I dodge every single one, pretending to trip over my own feet.

"Oh no, I'm so clumsy!" I say, flailing around.

---

Blobby cackles. "Boss, you're so good at this!"

Reina's voice echoes in my head: You're impossible.

---

After a few minutes of dodging, I get bored.

With a flick of my wrist, I summon a gust of wind that sends the figure flying backward into a pile of trash cans.

They groan, trying to get up.

---

"Alright," I say, walking over. "Who are you, and why are you stalking me?"

The figure glares at me, their hood falling back to reveal—

A girl.

---

Her dark hair falls in waves, and her piercing blue eyes are filled with fury.

"I'm Kira," she spits, struggling to her feet. "And you…are a threat."

"A threat?" I repeat. "Lady, I'm a walking punchline. Get your facts straight."

---

Kira clenches her fists. "You're more than you pretend to be. I've seen the destruction you're capable of. The dragon inside you—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I interrupt, waving my hands. "Let's not bring up the dragon thing, alright? That's ancient history."

---

Blobby tilts its head. "Wait, boss, she knows about the dragon?"

"Not helping, Blobby," I mutter.

---

Kira steps closer, her eyes blazing. "I don't care what kind of act you put on. I won't let you endanger this world."

"Endanger the world?" I laugh. "Lady, I can barely endanger my homework."

---

Narration Mode Activated

"Here's the thing about being an ex-evil dragon god: people tend to hold grudges. Even if you're now a lovable idiot with a blob sidekick, someone always shows up yelling about revenge or destiny or whatever. It's exhausting."

---

Kira points her blade at me again.

"This isn't over," she says. "I'll be watching you."

"Cool," I say, shrugging. "Enjoy the show."

---

With a flash of light, she vanishes into the night, leaving me and Blobby alone in the alley.

"Well, that was weird," I say, turning to leave.

Blobby flutters excitedly. "Boss, I like her! She's feisty!"

"Great," I mutter. "That's exactly what I needed—another person trying to kill me."

---

Meanwhile, Kira returns to a dark, underground chamber.

A council of shadowy figures awaits her.

"Well?" one of them asks.

"He's stronger than I expected," Kira admits.

"Then we must act quickly," another says. "The dragon's power cannot be allowed to awaken."

The room fills with ominous whispers as the camera pans to a massive, glowing sigil on the floor.

End of Chapter 18