The Villainess Whom I Had Served for 13 Years Has Fallen

TLed by NolepGuy

Chapter 41

I struggled to open my eyes.

Perhaps I had been crying unconsciously, as the corners of my eyes were damp. A sigh escaped me. I felt both conflicted and weighed down.

“Haa.”

The room that came into view through my barely open eyes was dark. It still seemed to be nighttime.

I didn’t want to get up.

I didn’t know how I would face Ricardo, what expression I should wear.

Should I put on a foolish smile as if I knew nothing? Or should I lower my gaze gloomily and ask for forgiveness?

I wasn’t sure myself.

What should I do? I needed to apologize, but no clear answer came to mind.

There were so many things I wanted to ask.

I wanted to ask if he was okay, if he was in pain, but when I actually saw Ricardo, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to say anything.

What should I do? I wondered.

The heavy feeling in my chest once again dampened the corners of my eyes.

“Cough… Cough…”

My throat felt scratchy.

Perhaps it was because of the changing seasons, but it seemed I had caught a cold.

My head felt hot, as if I had a fever, and my nose was running.

My forehead was warm, too.

I had a fever.

My mind was a mess.

Everything felt chaotic.

“Cough… Cough…”

Reaching for water, I extended my hand toward the nightstand beside the bed. My short arm barely brushed the handle, so I rolled over on the bed and slowly tried to reach for the water cup.

Eeeek…

Eeeek…

My hand couldn’t reach it. Maybe it was because of the cold symptoms, but my body quickly grew tired. Feeling disappointed, I stretched my hand out once more, but the water cup remained out of reach, so I brought my hand back onto the bed.

“I’ll just go without.”

After all, not drinking a glass of water wouldn’t kill me.

As I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, I felt a warm hand on my forehead.

“Are you thirsty?”

A familiar voice reached my ears.

A warm and gentle voice.

Olivia’s eyes widened. It was a voice she hadn’t expected to hear.

Though her head was dizzy from the cold symptoms and her eyes were heavy with sleep, the man before her was vividly clear.

Her butler, Ricardo, with red hair and an awkward smile.

Ricardo’s hand rested on her forehead.

With one hand on his own forehead and the other on her feverish one, Ricardo seemed lost in thought. When their eyes met, he gave a small smile.

She didn’t know how long he had been there, but seeing the bucket of ice water and wet towels beside him, it was clear he had been there for quite some time.

“…A ghost?”

Ricardo poured a glass of water from the nightstand and held it out. Supporting her back with one hand, he helped her sit up and offered the water cup with practiced ease. Olivia lowered her head.

“Not a ghost. A handsome butler.”

She couldn’t find the words to respond.

In the vision shown by the blue window, she had prepared the words to apologize to Ricardo. But now that she was face-to-face with him, her mind went completely blank.

“Are you awake?”

“…”

When she cautiously accepted the cup Ricardo handed her, the cold sensation of the cup seemed to cool her fever and slightly ease her heavy heart.

“Gulp… Gulp…”

Ricardo watched her drink the water intently, then gave an awkward smile.

“If you’re feeling unwell, you should say so. Weren’t you startled?”

“…”

“Your forehead was burning like fire, and you were crying in your sleep. It really surprised me.”

“…”

Ricardo grumbled.

He told her to say she was sick if she was sick.

It seemed he had been nursing her since late in the evening, staying by her side all night.

She felt sorry.

At the same time, a sense of defiance arose.

After all, he didn’t say anything when he was unwell either. Holding the water cup in her hand, she spoke curtly.

“I’m not sick.”

Ricardo let out an empty laugh. As he dipped the warm wet towel back into the ice water, he muttered, “Your hands were practically burning, but sure, you’re not sick,” and wrung out the towel.

“Then why were you groaning in pain? You couldn’t even drink water.”

“That’s because I had a nightmare.”

“A nightmare?”

Ricardo pondered for a moment. Resting his chin on his hand, he thought deeply before giving a small smile and saying,

“Did you dream of being rejected by Mikhail again?”

Eeeek…!

Olivia grabbed the wet towel from her forehead. She raised it, intending to throw it at Ricardo as she usually did, but the earlier scene replayed in her mind, and she stopped.

Ricardo looked at her with eyes full of concern.

Her unusual behavior seemed awkward to him, and he appeared worried, thinking she must be very sick. Truly, he was a butler with no talent for acting.

They spent the time in silence.

Ricardo kept changing the wet towels without rest, and Olivia entrusted herself to his care.

The time was now 4 a.m.

It was still night, the hour when sleepiness was at its peak. Olivia spoke to Ricardo, who was checking her forehead for fever.

“Go.”

“Pardon?”

“I said go. You’re sleepy.”

“I’m not sleepy.”

Not sleepy, my foot. His dark circles reached down to his cheeks, and she had seen him nodding off, slapping his cheeks to stay awake.

Besides, it was awkward.

A brief silence filled the room.

Ricardo glanced at her face, gauging her mood, while she felt awkward sharing the same space with him.

She couldn’t find the words to say.

It was hard to bring anything up.

Simply apologizing out of the blue felt wrong.

Ricardo wrung out the wet towel on her forehead once more. Quietly replacing the towel, he spoke as if in passing.

“Young Lady.”

“Yes?”

“That…”

Ricardo trailed off.

Letting out a long sigh, Ricardo lowered his head and spoke.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

Ricardo’s straightforward apology shook her. She didn’t even know why he was apologizing, and she was the one who should have been apologizing.

Seeing her startled face, Ricardo calmly began to explain his mistake.

“About my hand.”

“…”

“I wasn’t trying to hide it…”

Ricardo spoke about the secret of his hand.

She hadn’t expected Ricardo to bring it up first.

Olivia tucked her hands under the blanket, clutching her pajamas tightly.

She was anxious. As she worried internally about what Ricardo might say, a suffocating feeling, as if she were trapped in a prison, overwhelmed her.

What if Ricardo mentioned that incident from that day? What would she do?

She couldn’t handle it.

Ricardo spoke.

He spoke to her in a somewhat calm tone.

“I hid it because I thought you might worry. As you can see, the scar on my hand is unsightly, so…”

“It’s already healed, so you don’t need to worry, but isn’t it still quite hideous? Haha… I was planning to tell you once it faded a little.”

Ricardo was making excuses.

She could easily discern the lie within Ricardo’s supposed truth.

The part about considering her feelings was real.

The claim that it was fully healed was false.

To her, who had now uncovered all the secrets, Ricardo’s lie felt like a dagger piercing her.

She spoke in a sharp voice.

A voice that was slightly cold and carried a sense of injustice.

“Am I… not allowed to worry?”

“What?”

Ricardo’s startled reaction came back. She spoke again to the flustered Ricardo.

“Am I not allowed to worry? I’m someone who worries too.”

Ricardo shook his head.

“Worrying is my responsibility.”

Ricardo spoke firmly.

She shook her head.

“There’s no such thing.”

Her emotions grew a little more intense.

“There’s no such thing, is there? If you’re hurt, you should say you’re hurt. If you’re injured, you should say you’re injured. Are you not allowed to do that too?”

Her heart ached.

Knowing she wouldn’t be able to handle it, she spoke harshly out of sheer defiance.

“You promised to tell me.”

Ricardo lowered his head.

“I’m sorry.”

Many thoughts crossed her mind.

From how much Ricardo must have resented her that day when he faced death, to what emotions he might have felt seeing her cry and call out for Mikhail.

It must have been disgust.

The deeper her thoughts went, the heavier her heart became.

She wanted to stop herself from saying things she couldn’t handle, but the trembling in her heart wouldn’t settle.

Her head lowered on its own. She couldn’t look Ricardo in the face.

“Young Lady.”

Ricardo’s voice reached her….

This time, the kind voice of the butler, who folded the towel neatly and placed it on her feverish forehead, resonated softly in the dark dawn breeze.

The butler spoke.

“Are you very angry?”

She looked at Ricardo without saying a word. Ricardo’s expression didn’t look good. He was looking down at her with a guilty expression, and it made her feel like crying.

She clenched her pajamas tightly with the hand hidden under the blanket.

‘Why are you looking at me like that?’

That thought came to her mind first. Why are you looking at me with that face? She wanted to ask, but it only made her heart ache more.

Ricardo held the hand she had hidden under the blanket. His calloused hand warmly enveloped her smooth, unscarred hand.

“I was wrong.”

Ricardo’s monologue continued.

“I know. You must have felt upset and betrayed. I would feel the same way.”

Like confessing to a priest, Ricardo fiddled with her hand as he began to speak one thing after another.

“But I didn’t want to show you. It’s not a pretty scar… What if it appeared in your dreams?”

Her fist clenched.

It was a wound she had caused.

She wanted to tell Ricardo that the wound was her fault, but her frightened heart wouldn’t let her move. What if, after she confessed, Ricardo started to hate her?

Because he had found out. What if he said he hated her now, that it hurt so much back then, that he wished she had just let him die? That selfish fear weighed heavily on her lips.

Even now, she had thought about it dozens, no, hundreds of times. How could she apologize to Ricardo? No, how could she even say the words, “I’m sorry”?

No matter how many times she thought and agonized over it, no answer came to her.

Ricardo spoke to her.

“Young Lady, this scar…”

His grip tightened.

Whatever words came out of Ricardo’s mouth, she feared they might become daggers aimed at her.

With a deep sigh, he reluctantly began to speak. Selfishly, it terrified her.

“It’s a wound I got in the dungeon.”

Ricardo spoke with a small smile.

“The truth is, when I went to the dungeon last time…”

“What did you just say…?”

Tears welled up.

Why are you doing this… Why are you saying this with that expression again?

“Why are you doing this?”

You know, don’t you?

“Why. Why are you lying?”

You remember everything, don’t you? Unlike me, the fool who can’t remember, you… you remember everything from back then. So how can you say that?

“Why are you lying?”

Ricardo smiled awkwardly, his expression somewhat embarrassed.

“I’m sorry. I hid it, saying it was a tattoo….”

Resentment burst forth.

“That arm…!”

Her voice trembled.

“That arm. That….”

Words wouldn’t come out. She was trembling too much. She was so scared. But if she didn’t express this suffocating feeling, she felt like she would collapse.

“It’s because of me….”

She sobbed.

Tears rolled down her cheeks like a fool, flowing and flowing.

Ricardo smiled awkwardly.

“You knew?”

Ricardo held her hand tightly and said.

“It’s okay.”