The World Has Become Kinder to Her

“I see.”

Lotus reached out with trembling hands and gently stroked the scar on Kenneth’s left chest.  

Most of his wounds had been healed through magic and the powers of priests, but some injuries caused by monsters left permanent marks.  

“That was advice that helped me regain my composure, Count.”

The scar she touched began to sting and tingle.  

The heart beating beneath that scar thumped wildly, as if intoxicated by the warmth that flowed from her delicate, pale fingertips.  

He wanted to surrender himself a bit more to this warmth. As Kenneth leaned further into Lotus, he made a hesitant request.  

“If it’s alright… could you call my name, just for now?”  

“My name?”  

“Yes. I’d like to hear my name rather than being addressed as ‘Count.’”  

“I suppose I don’t have the right to refuse, do I?”  

“No, you do. You can refuse. It’s simply a request.”  

Lotus, who was troubled by his request, finally opened her mouth shyly.  

“…Kenneth.”  

Kenneth had always thought his name sounded sharp and cold, but he now realized that belief was wrong. When spoken from Lotus’s lips, his name was soft and warm.  

The green eyes that seemed to see right through him, the voice that gently held his sharp name, and the warmth that filled her being were all equally precious to him.  

Just as he had anticipated when he asked her to give up, Kenneth could not stop himself from wanting her.  

It was something he couldn’t understand, especially when thinking about how he had withstood the urge to embrace women, even during the times he was attacked by monsters that exuded aphrodisiacs, merely resorting to self-restraint.  

He held Lotus, over and over, like a beast that had lost its reason, until she eventually collapsed into sleep from exhaustion.  

Kenneth gazed tenderly at her body, which bore the marks of their passion, and came to a realization. In that short time, he had lost not just his body to her, but his heart as well.  

Lotus had chased away the sense of loss and emptiness in his heart, filling the void with her very presence.  

‘How I wish you could always be by my side.’  

A longing and desire for possession tightened in his chest. For the first time in a long while, Kenneth felt a deep thirst and hunger.  

He wanted to keep seeing her. He wanted to hear her beautiful voice and feel her warmth. He wanted to keep holding her, keep her close. He wanted to bind her to him.  

‘I think I’d be happy then.’  

As soon as the word “happiness” crossed his mind while looking at Lotus, Kenneth realized one more thing. He might be happy for a short while, but…  

‘Will you end up like the others? Will you meet the same misfortune? Will you die?’  

Not long after, when he saw her lifeless body, he would be plunged into utter misery and despair.  

As the memories of his precious ones’ deaths resurfaced, the warmth in Kenneth’s heart drained away.  

The excitement that had made his heart race and the tenderness that had made his fingertips tremble vanished without a trace.  

How ridiculous, what was he even thinking?  

He had just recently berated himself for being swayed by someone else’s warmth. And now, forgetting his own circumstances, he had dared to think of keeping her by his side. How foolish.  

‘If I push that delicate woman into greater misfortune, into death, could I possibly remain unscathed?’  

No, he wouldn’t even be able to maintain the pretense of being fine, as he was doing now. Kenneth rubbed his face repeatedly with both hands.  

Whether it was an innate instinct or something he developed through years of sword training, Kenneth intuitively knew that she was his last warmth and his last chance.  

His last chance to allow someone into his heart. Therefore, the course of action he needed to take was clear.  

Early in the morning, after Lotus had woken up quickly—perhaps due to the unfamiliar bed—and finished washing up and having a light breakfast, Kenneth spoke in a cold voice, his face devoid of expression.  

“This is the last time. Don’t ever come to me again for this reason.”  

The woman, usually so confident, looked at him in bewilderment for the first time. Kenneth fully understood her feelings.  

That night, overwhelmed by passion, his reason had softened, but by the next morning, he acted as if nothing had happened, which surely must have left her bewildered.  

Kenneth was well aware that this was the kind of behavior shown by men he despised, men he considered trash. But he had no other choice.  

Hurting her a little now, breaking off this unfortunate connection, would prevent a greater tragedy.  

“…Yes, Count. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful memory.”  

Lotus, without shedding tears or sniffling, left Kenneth with a calm and beautiful image etched into his mind. She was as cruel as she was enchanting.  

Had she shown him an ugly side, it might have helped him let go, made it easier for him to move on.  

That single night with Lotus—so brief—had changed much of Kenneth.  

“Hngh, Lotus…”  

Before, whenever he thought of the people he had lost, he only remembered their miserable ends. But now, the heated night he spent with Lotus came to mind. Embarrassingly, his habit of self-gratification had become more frequent, but that wasn’t the real issue.  

He felt no desire to meet or embrace any other woman. It seemed that doing so would erase the lingering memory of her from his mind and heart.  

Simply having someone in his heart again brought warmth and moisture to Kenneth’s once barren soul.  

Feelings of longing, hope, and affection sprouted as a small seed within him. Even the nightmares that had plagued him began to fade away.  

But love didn’t only bring positive changes for Kenneth.  

Desperate to see Lotus even once more, he began attending the parties and gatherings he had diligently avoided until now.  

From a distance, Kenneth would watch Lotus, his heart burning with both excitement and jealousy.  

Dressed beautifully, Lotus was the most stunning woman in the world, and many men with less than noble intentions gathered around her.  

He wanted to chase them all away, but he had no right to do so—after all, she wasn’t his.  

All Kenneth could do was secretly beat senseless any scoundrel who stalked her, leaving them to sob in regret in some corner.  

‘…Am I really any different from them, watching her from the shadows like this?’  

His superior physical abilities, honed by reaching the level of a Master, were now used to avoid Lotus’s notice while protecting her from those who would harm her.  

“I heard Frederick is seeing Lady Estelle?”  

“The better a man is, the more he likes women. Lady Estelle is beautiful, so he’s probably just meeting her out of interest.”  

As Kenneth reluctantly participated in more social events, rumors naturally found their way to his ears.  

For about a month after hearing that Lotus was seeing Frederick, the notorious playboy, the knights of the First Order suffered greatly, for they had to tiptoe around their captain, who was inexplicably in a terrible mood.  

Kenneth was not normally a commander who harassed his subordinates, but his furious aura was so intense that even the most seasoned knights struggled to endure it.  

‘Frederick from the Magic Tower, with Lady Estelle?’  

The one good thing that came out of these rumors was that many noblemen, intimidated by Frederick’s reputation, no longer dared to approach Lotus.  

Oddly enough, there were still a few bold men, perhaps drunk or under the influence of some substance, who approached her with impure intentions, but their numbers had noticeably dwindled.  

‘At least, if she could be with a decent man…’  

Racked by a sense of helplessness and loss that threatened to turn his heart to ashes, Kenneth did his best to trail Frederick.  

Unlike the others, keeping an eye on Frederick wasn’t easy. He was highly sensitive to any signs of being followed, and whenever he sensed something was amiss, he immediately used magic, forcing Kenneth to keep his distance.  

After months of his own investigation, Kenneth saw that Frederick was no longer meeting any other women and that Lotus, too, seemed to be seeing someone other than Frederick.  

The information about Lotus came from the men who had loitered around her and whom Kenneth had cornered and interrogated.  

“We were just hired to watch her as part of an assignment!”  

“Please, believe us!”  

Instead of being angry at Lotus, who appeared to be playing the role of a seductress, Kenneth found himself more consumed with jealousy toward the men she was with.  

He couldn’t help but sneer at himself when he realized how much more he had fallen for her than he thought. He dared to love her.  

‘Kenneth, you’re truly insane.’  

But even if his desire for Lotus drove him to madness, Kenneth vowed that he would never reach out to her.  

It didn’t matter if Lotus met other men. As long as she remained healthy and happy, that was all that mattered.  

Since childhood, Kenneth had become accustomed to enduring, and perhaps because he had narrowly escaped death many times on harsh battlefields, he was more patient than most. This was a decision only someone like him could make.  

Even though at times he felt excitement and at other times jealousy, his current life was still far better than the time when his heart had been barren, like a wasteland.  

With that mindset, he endured the deep yearning he had for her.  

“Did you hear? That woman’s dead.”  

“They say she committed suicide.”  

“I heard she died while saving a child.”  

“Really? Well, dead is dead. A shame though, I wanted to sleep with her at least once.”  

“Did you really think a woman who was with men like the commander and the tower lord would even glance your way? Do you think you’re better than them in any way?”  

“Damn it!”  

Why were these absurd rumors reaching his ears?  

“Wait a minute. Who were you talking about just now?”  

Kenneth couldn’t immediately process the words that Lotus Estelle had died. He asked again, hoping he had misheard.  

“I-I apologize. We were talking about Lady Lotus Estelle.”  

The knight, crushed under Kenneth’s murderous aura, quickly answered, and upon hearing the response, Kenneth was left dazed.  

Stumbling, he left the palace and headed for the Marquisate of Estelle.  

As a Sword Master, if Kenneth put his mind to it, he could enter any place he desired without being seen.  

Whether the world had gone mad or his ears had failed him, the people at the estate were all talking about her death.  

‘This can’t be true!’  

Hadn’t he pushed Lotus away precisely to avoid such a dreadful outcome? He had hidden his desire and love, watching her only from afar to protect her. So why had she died? Why?  

‘I kept her away from someone like me, a symbol of misfortune and death…’  

He had failed. Once again, he had lost someone precious, this time forever.  

Was his approach wrong? Unlike the powerless man he once was, he now had strength. Should he have forced her to stay by his side, no matter the cost, even if it meant pushing his limits?  

His heart pounded madly, feeling like it was about to burst. He ran, faster and faster, until he reached a nearby mountain outside the capital. In a frenzy of rage and grief, Kenneth swung his sword wildly.  

Trees were sliced through like straw. He must have also struck some wild animals hiding in the brush, as the smell of blood began to permeate the air.  

His head spun. The familiar, metallic scent of blood sharply pierced through Kenneth’s nerves and senses.  

Despite having seen more death than anyone else, he had never grown accustomed to it.  

It was horrifying. This cruel reality was something he could not believe.  

“Lotus. Lotus…”  

He had never once confessed his feelings. He had only pushed her away, over and over.  

What was the point of being the empire’s strongest swordsman or knight? What good was the sword in his hand when he couldn’t protect anyone? It was a useless strength, a blade that had lost its meaning.  

His hands trembled violently. The sword eventually slipped from his grasp, clattering pathetically to the dirt.  

Drip. Drip.  

Clear liquid began to fall onto the blade.  

The tears that flowed along the polished surface of the sword seeped into the ground, disappearing, but the bloodstain engraved in Kenneth’s heart would never fade.  

He had to accept it now. Even though he hadn’t kept her by his side, he had once again lost someone precious, the woman he loved, forever.