Became an Academy Spearman

chapter 817



817. [Western Front] – Sabrina’s Hell (93)

***

ㅡUnconscious.

Almost 10 days have already passed since Sabrina suffered an unexpected accident.

Everyone, starting with Lieutenant Neril, assumed that she had not regained consciousness, and of course it was reasonable to assume that. Her body has finished treatment, and as long as she comes to her senses, she is no different from anyone else.

however. Surprisingly enough, Sabrina had a ‘little consciousness’.

A vague state of awareness where you are not just unable to wake up, but are able to hear sounds or feel very slight sensations in your body.

It was a much more serious condition than what could be called unconsciousness.

-He is conscious, but cannot wake up on his own.

It was a rare condition that only a very small number of people had ever experienced, and those who had experienced it and finally woke up felt great fear.

They could say it in just one word to describe the condition.

They say it is no different from ‘living hell.’

Other people comfort you and come close to you and worry about you, but the words they say and the sensations of your body feel insignificant.

Even though I knew and realized it all, the fact that I couldn’t wake up was absolutely terrifying.

[What on earth is this? … .]

Sabrina couldn’t even think properly in her vague awareness.

But I kept hearing familiar sounds in my ears, and I also vaguely felt the sensation of carefully touching my body.

I was half asleep and had the unrealistic feeling of having a strange dream.

[I want to move]

And before long, Sabrina was trying to regain control of her body.

I want to clasp my hands, stretch my legs, raise my upper body, and take a step. She desperately wanted an action that was like nothing else.

But my body did not move according to the wind.

Even if I try to keep my consciousness strong, it keeps becoming hazy, and the jumbled sensations clutter my mind.

[why… … Is it like this?]

I don’t know.

And there is nothing I can understand from what I hear.

Neril and other members of the same platoon came to comfort him and worry about him, but all they said was meaningless words.

I will believe it.

The word believe.

… … I want to repay their trust.

Sabrina couldn’t do that.

Even though I kept trying to control myself in my dazed consciousness, things didn’t work out the way I wanted to. At some point, she even felt trapped in her own body.

I feel like I’m trapped in a wall that’s too thick to wake up on my own. No matter how much I try to strengthen my will, my mind keeps getting hazy and I can’t straighten my mind.

[scared… … what’s this? Why… … Is it like this?]

In her inner thoughts, Sabrina felt a terrible fear. Rather, from the moment she felt the pain of receiving an unexpected blow, this hell, which she did not know when it would end, only made her more fearful and anxious.

Time passed like that.

One day, two days. As the week passed, Sabrina’s mind became more and more anxious.

[Is it impossible to do it on our own?]

It was to the point where she started thinking that way without even realizing it. No matter what she tries to do with her consciousness, she cannot wake up.

And I wonder when I might wake up.

An indefinite wait. And time passes so slowly… … .

It felt like life was worse than death.

A strange phenomenon occurs where you can’t open your eyes right away, but your mind is somewhat awake, but your body doesn’t respond to your mind at all.

It was as if I was forced to close my eyes and just breathe.

Still, there was a sound that came from time to time.

ㅡ… … I’ll believe it.

Trust was not something Sabrina wanted to hear any more. Even though I know that other people have no choice but to say such things because they don’t know my condition… … .

I was desperately hoping for help, but it seemed like they were ignoring my help.

However, the voice I heard every day was clearly heard in my ears.

And I knew who it was.

-I think Lieutenant Sabrina is a strong person. You were like that when you played pranks on me, and I know that you pay more attention to others, knowingly or unknowingly.

He conveys his feelings as if he were speaking openly.

Sreuk.

Occasionally, I would feel a hand gently caressing my hand, so without realizing it, I would listen and concentrate on the slight sensation.

The other platoon members were having a hard time, and although they understood my situation, they did not want to see me often.

Because it becomes difficult for them too.

However, there was someone who consistently came to me every day.

[Han Cheon-seong… … ]

As I absentmindedly remembered the name of that being, a small amount of heat gathered in my heart.

It was a clearly different change from before.

ㅡSi, please excuse me.

It was a slightly different voice than usual.

At that time, I was in a dazed state, just wondering why that was so.

side.

One day, I was very surprised by the slight sensation I suddenly felt on my lips.

[What now… … What are you doing?]

Because I couldn’t see it, I couldn’t understand it clearly. However, I could only think of one thing, no matter how faint the sensation was, that I could only feel it from my lips.

The sound of excited breathing, and even the unknown saliva that continues to flow from the inside of the mouth.

It didn’t take long to realize it was a kiss.

[Nonsense]

Why are you kissing me?

I couldn’t believe that Han Tiansheng liked me. Even in my dazed mind, that much came to mind clearly. I sort out my feelings toward Han Tiansheng and how Han Tiansheng treats me… … .

ㅡHa… … ha… … .

However, the sound of Han Tiansheng’s breathing continued to be heard, even if very faintly, in my ears, and it slowly awakened my mind, as if something was engraved in my heart.

[This is… … ]

And in that, I felt like I was floating.

My mind is about to change significantly.

And the moment it slowly grew into heat… … .

Sreuk.

Suddenly, the feeling of my lips disappearing.

[ah.]

Without realizing it, I had to feel deep regret.

I felt infinitely more stable in the midst of lonely, fearful, and anxious thoughts. And I felt my mind trying to change… … It cut off at the last moment.

I had to feel an indescribable emotion, as if I had been the victim of a bad prank.

And time passed again.

A few days passed by.

I have a clearer picture of how each day goes by.

And my mind began to fill with one thought.

My mind, which had been floating and hazy all this while, was filled with thoughts about Han Cheon-seong, the object of my strongest feelings.

And today.

ㅡHa, what’s wrong with Han Cheon-seong’s arm!?

-Hurry up and get treatment first!

I felt my thoughts becoming more awake as I heard various urgent sounds one after another.

[You’re hurt… … ?]

While I was in a daze, I was able to understand the situation a little more from the numerous sounds I heard next to me. My dazed mind quickly forgot many of the circumstances, but the fact that Han Tiansheng was injured remained strong and stimulated my consciousness.

Then, the heat in my heart shook even more strongly.

[I miss you, I don’t know what happened… … You have to check it yourself… … ]

Thoughts that had been cut off suddenly become attached one after another.

And in between, I wanted it more. As if I had hoped I would come to my senses after hearing the sounds for the first time, a fire welled up in my heart again.

I want to somehow regain consciousness and understand the situation.

… … So time passed again.

My body still didn’t respond to my will at all, and my mind was getting weaker again, as if it had been on fire for some time.

[I feel hopeless]

Someone I love is hurt, and I can’t even confirm it.

I am trapped in my own body and can only guess the situation from the sounds I hear.

… … I now understand more than ever why people choose their own death.

It’s not just that the situation is difficult and painful.

After that, it was excruciating that I had no hope of moving forward.

Even if it was alive, it couldn’t possibly be alive.

And my condition is not recognized at all by the outside world.

Because there is nothing wrong with my body… … I think it’s better to wait until you wake up on your own.

It was that moment.

Sreuk.

I felt a strong hand gently caressing my hand.

Slurp.

The hand that gently grasped my hand was sweet and warm. And I didn’t know who was holding my hand, but I intuitively felt who it was.

[Han Cheon-seong… … It’s Han Cheon-seong]

Now I can feel the passage of time to some extent. The person who would be in the infirmary right now was decided.

And Lieutenant Neril wasn’t the one to hold my hand or anything.

Then, Han Cheon-seong entered the infirmary today. It has to be Han Cheon-seong.

And that one fact… … .

It ignited a small fire in my heart again.

I tried to keep burning, and in the end, the fire in my heart went out like ashes.

At this time, it feels like my heart has died down to be rekindled.

[please… … ]

I didn’t want to waste time like this without any promises.

I wanted to escape from the hellish thoughts anymore.

So, please… … I wanted to wake up, holding the hand that was holding me.

And a miracle appeared.

Sreuk!

The moment when my body, which had not moved at all, moved for the first time with my own will… … !

***

Lieutenant Neril hurriedly approached and began checking Lieutenant Sabrina’s body, and I had to raise my upper body and watch the scene blankly.

“… … .”

Then suddenly my gaze went down.

Pure white hands touching each other.

I held her hand first, but since when? Ensign Sabrina was holding her hand tightly as if she would never let go, so her hand and mine were still connected.

And I didn’t want to let go of her hand either.

‘anything… … .’

It felt different.

I feel like something big will happen if I let go of this hand. And it’s not just about trusting and waiting for Ensign Sabrina… … It felt like there had to be some kind of stimulation.

“Whoa.”

Then, Lieutenant Neril suddenly checked every part of Lieutenant Sabrina’s body and sighed, and my heart seemed to sink without my knowledge.

“Bye, is there no change?”

“Actually, I checked again and looked around and there was no abnormality or change in her body. Even if I force myself to check her eyes now, there is no sign of her becoming conscious. Ensign Han Tiansheng, is Sabrina really holding her hand now?”

Seeing her cautiously asking, I opened my mouth resolutely.

“yes. Ensign Sabrina definitely held my hand. “This is not my imagination.”

It wasn’t an illusion or my wish.

I felt it clearly.

That she held my hand. She also gave me her strength as if she wouldn’t let go of the hand I was holding.

“… … So let’s watch a little more. And if that’s really the case, don’t let go of the hand you’re holding. When an unconscious person acts at all. “It is important to catch it early so that the behavior can continue.”

Fortunately, perhaps because I behaved well, Lieutenant Neril did not look suspiciously at me.

It just gives a slightly more hopeful answer.

“yes. I will never let you go first. No, I’ll hold on harder.”

I don’t know if my words will be heard or not.

‘You probably won’t hear it.’

Still, it didn’t matter. Just because Lieutenant Sabrina showed some positive reaction!

Because I could see great hope.

Then a thought struck me.

“… Hey, Lieutenant Neril. “Can I be alone with Ensign Sabrina for a moment?”

“Oh, of course. Because I will burn the car slowly. Let’s spend some time together. Giving words of strength can also be helpful.”

Seeing her willingly leaving her seat in response to my words, I gulped without realizing it.

‘Isn’t it really my height and kiss that had an effect back then?’

If Lieutenant Sabrina was at a big crossroads right now, I didn’t know if it would be more beneficial for me to give her a big stimulus again.

I’m not saying this action is the right thing to do.

Just because there was a possibility, it was enough for me to act that way.


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