Only Realized After Losing You

45. Are You Curious About The Results?

Hardwin was not here, because he had gone out somewhere today for business.

He said he would return late in the evening, so it was unlikely that he would return to the count’s residence at one o’clock in the afternoon.

I looked out the carriage window and watched the count’s residence recede into the distance.

I had been staying here for a little over a month.

Although my stay was short, it felt like it had been my home from the beginning, so much so that I felt strange about leaving that place.

I stared at the red brick of the building until the count’s mansion became a small dot and was no longer visible.

Soon, as the count’s mansion completely disappeared from my sight, I felt an inexplicable emptiness.

Whether it was the emptiness caused by the disappearance of the view of the count’s mansion or the emptiness caused by Hardwin’s absence, I couldn’t fathom why I felt that way.

I wondered whether it would be okay to go out without Hardwin.

Of course, going out without him was quite scary.

It was also my first time going out since coming to the count’s residence.

But that was the reason I followed Madeleine.

‘If you don’t have any more work for me to do today, do you mind if I take a quick trip into town? I have some personal business to attend to.’

I was concerned about Madeleine’s personal business.

I still believed that Madeleine was a good person.

Still, I was very concerned about Lennon, who had been quiet for a week.

I didn’t think he was the type of person to stay still…

Let’s secretly check who Madeleine is meeting and return to the count’s residence.

I decided to move quietly while covering my face with my hat.

If I didn’t follow her now, I would never know what she was up to.

That’s why I risked everything to follow her.

Even if I ran into my father, I could act as if nothing had happened.

I had the confidence to pretend to be Hannah Phever and not the mute Ellie.

As time passed, my speech became more polished.

It was an undeniable fact.

While I was thinking about various things, we arrived in town.

I stopped the carriage and left a message for the driver to wait as I would be back soon.

“Then, see you again at the count’s house!”

Madeleine waved goodbye and started walking away.

I followed her with a distance of about ten steps.

There were a lot of people on the street, so Madeleine didn’t notice me following her.

She walked forward without looking around or behind.

It looked like she was going somewhere she’d been many times before.

I wondered where she was going.

As I walked along the crowded sidewalk, my mind somehow became more cluttered.

My heart, which had become complicated and heavy, was sinking endlessly.

This was the same street I ran to escape my father who was chasing me.

The place where I lost one of my shoes and the money Lennon gave me.

That was why my heart became heavy.

My father… How are you doing? Are you looking for me?

It was a topic I had never thought about because I was neither curious nor wanted to know.

I immediately put all thoughts of my father out of my mind because I didn’t want to think about it anymore.

I guess I was thinking too deeply.

Or maybe my gaze was too low, only looking at the hem of Madeleine’s skirt.

“… … !”

I was suddenly slammed face-first into the hard chest of someone in front of me.

It must have been hard, because my hat came off and fell off my head and onto my shoulders.

At that moment, the hand of the person who bumped into me reached out and snatched my hat with precision.

It was a smooth gesture that executed at exactly the right time.

The fingertips holding my hat were oddly familiar. A man’s pretty hand with long, white knuckles.

I slowly raised my lowered gaze and took in his features with my eyes.

Strong, protruding cheekbones, a firm but sharp tip of the chin, red lips, a prominent nose with an uneven bridge.

And red eyes that seem to penetrate the thoughts of the person facing them.

“… Lennon Hills.”

His name flowed naturally between my lips.

Lennon put the hat he was holding on to me and smiled slightly.

“I’m honored that you remember my name.”

“… … .”

“Count Hannah, what are you doing here? It is dangerous to travel alone without a maid or a knight.”

Lennon seemed to realize that I came here alone.

I adjusted the hat Lennon put on me.

“I’m going back now.”

The fact that I spoke much more eloquently than when I met him before was a bonus.

After saying that, I belatedly looked for Madeleine, but she had already disappeared somewhere.

“Ha… ”

“Is a fateful meeting with me something to sigh about?”

Lennon said cheerfully.

I shook my head and asked a polite question.

“… No. Mister Lennon, what brings you here?”

“Oh, I was looking for something. If you don’t mind, Miss Hannah, I will accompany you to your carriage.”

Miss Hannah.

He was calling me more intimately than before without any reason.

There was no sign of hostility on Lennon’s neatly smiling face.

I nodded my head slowly.

I had already lost Madeleine, and it would have been better to go back to the carriage with Lennon and talk to him.

We started walking together as if we were a group.

Lennon was keeping some distance from me.

I glanced up at Lennon walking next to me.

He was only looking straight ahead, not looking down at me.

I took a quick breath and then asked him a question.

“Were you planning on meeting someone today?”

Lennon answered clearly.

“No, I didn’t have any plans.”

So, does that mean Madeleine didn’t leave the Count’s residence to meet Lennon?

“Mister Lennon.”

“Yes, Miss Hannah.”

Lennon’s voice was filled with laughter as he answered.

He looked a little amused.

“May I ask… what you were looking for?”

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know, Miss Hannah.”

“… … .”

It was an unexplained favor and kindness.

Lennon’s story soon began.

“Do you remember what I told you before, about how there’s a girl who looks like you, Miss Hannah?”

“…yes.”

“I was looking for her because I miss her terribly. I thought I would get better with time… ”

“… … .”

“Time was poison. The more time passed, the more I missed her as she was the only one who listened to my story.”

A wry smile appeared on Lennon’s lips.

“To the point where she even appears in my dreams.”

It wasn’t a very surprising story.

I knew from the beginning that Lennon was looking for me.

But it was odd to hear him say that he missed me, because it felt genuine.

“I spent a lot of money and effort trying to find her. I guess you could say I’ve scoured the capital like a possessed man.”

Was I really worth that much to you?

What suddenly came to mind at that time were Hardwin’s words.

‘I think he likes you… no.’

Although I thought it was nonsense, I was curious about Lennon’s sincerity when he said he looked for me even in his dreams.

“And I finally found a witness. Recently.”

I was a little surprised.

A witness?

My heart began to beat with an ominous sound.

I quickly tried to take a deep breath, but it was no help.

I already had an ominous feeling.

“About a month ago, the witness saw two identical women with silver hair riding together in a carriage. The woman I was looking for was also a woman with silver hair… These were words that made my heart tremble very much.”

The witness must have seen me and Hannah.

I listened to his story as if it was nothing.

“What’s even more disturbing is that the day the witness saw that woman and the day the woman I was looking for disappeared are the same.”

Lennon’s voice was somewhat reminiscent.

He seemed very happy to have found out.

“At that point, I had no choice but to make a conclusion.”

“A conclusion?”

“One of the two women with silver hair is the one I was looking for.”

Lennon was convinced.

I swallowed dry saliva.

The sound of spit going down my throat rang loudly in my ears.

I was worried that Lennon might hear me.

Lennon continued speaking without looking at me.

“So what else did I investigate after that?”

At that point, Lennon’s face turned toward me at an angle.

“Miss Hannah.”

He spoke in a whisper, calling me by the name that had now become mine.

“After that, I started looking for the carriage with the two women in it. Every driver and coachman in the capital was interrogated.”

At that moment, Lennon stopped walking.

I stopped walking after him.

We stood a little apart, looking at each other.

The sense of distance was meaningless.

Lennon’s red eyes were so close to mine.

I studied Lennon’s face, trying not to panic.

Was he saying this to me because he discovered my identity or just to let me know what he had found?

But I didn’t read any intentions on his face.

Lennon’s face was filled with joy that he had found the clue to what he was looking for.

“Do you want to know what happened? Are you curious about the results?”

I clenched my hands tightly.

Before I realized it, a cold sweat was trickling down the back of my neck.

Had Lennon… found the carriage that Hannah and I shared?

His red lips parted with a small smile.