Only Realized After Losing You

52. Someone Who Has Been On My Mind For A Long Time

Deep relationships that required commitment were burdensome, Lennon thought.

He preferred them light.

Whether it was love, friendship, or anything else.

However, he was quite possessive, and if there was something he wanted, he had to get it by any means necessary.

Whether it was a person, an object, or anything else.

Lennon was born with a great face and the ability to win the hearts of many people regardless of gender.

It was a gift he was given.

Not only was his gifted ability excellent, but he even came from a perfect family.

Lennon Hills, next in line to the Dukedom of Hills. That was another way of referring to him.

Although he lived a carefree life in private, he was rather stoic in public.

He avoided deep enough relationships to be held accountable, so there weren’t many problems that arose in his personal life.

In other words, it was difficult to find any flaws or imperfections in him.

But there was just one small problem with him, and it was this.

The thing was, he got tired of the things as quickly as he got possessive.

He had never played with a single toy for long.

Of course, it didn’t matter whether it was a person, an object, or something else.

However, for quite some time, Lennon had been interested in someone.

It was a woman named ‘Ellie’.

From the moment she disappeared, she dominated his dreams.

She was the first person to make him want to get deeply attached, when he hated relationships that required commitment and only sought casual encounters.

“… Lord Lennon. Sir Lebrado visited Count Phever’s house yesterday at dawn.”

Lennon snapped out of his deep thoughts.

He turned to look at his subordinate standing in front of him.

Lennon had ordered him to investigate Lebrado’s movements.

He had done so to see how Lebrado would behave after his chance encounter with Hannah on the street.

Lennon had expected that Lebrado would attempt to go find Hannah.

And just as he suspected, Lebrado did just that.

Lebrado had been one of Ellie’s clients.

He had been searching for Ellie like crazy ever since she disappeared.

Lennon thought that there was no way he wouldn’t go to Hannah, who resembled Ellie.

“Did you look into what they talked about?”

“Their conversation took place within the Count’s household. I apologize.”

“Okay. I wasn’t expecting that much.”

Lennon felt he had to create a channel through which he could find out what was going on inside the Count’s household.

Whether it was Lebrado, a servant of the Count’s family, or someone else.

“You can go now.”

Lennon dismissed his men.

When he was alone, he reclined deeply into the chair he was sitting on.

Her name, mixed with a sigh, slipped from his lips.

“Hannah Phever… ”

Hannah Phever.

She was Count Phever, a woman who rarely showed her face in social circles.

Lennon had only seen her from a distance years ago.

It was only a few days ago that he first saw her up close.

Hannah rarely made public appearances and lived with dark rumors surrounding her.

That she was pale. That she had an incurable disease. That she had strange sexual preferences.

All of these were unconfirmed rumors.

Lennon thought the people who spread those baseless rumors were even more sinister.

Even more so than the reclusive Count Phever, who never came out of her mansion.

He didn’t want to get married, but he was getting fed up with the constant stream of marriage proposals.

So Lennon thought he should at least get engaged to someone.

He wanted a straightforward engagement with a partner that wouldn’t cause him any troubles.

To be more specific, he wanted a woman who would not want to marry him and who would not love him.

He thought Hannah Phever was the perfect woman for that kind of person.

He was also curious as to why that eccentric girl was hiding.

And because when he had seen Hannah a few years ago from a distance, her appearance resembled that of ‘the woman’ he had been thinking about these days.

That woman was Ellie, who had suddenly disappeared a few weeks ago.

Lennon had been looking for her ever since. With all his might. With all his heart.

Ellie.

A woman who was somehow special.

A strange woman who gave him a different feeling than any woman he’d ever met before.

But back to the present, the engagement with Count Phever, which he thought would be a done deal, turned out to be unexpectedly difficult.

His engagement proposal, which he thought would be an interesting proposition to Count Phever, who was past the age of marriage, had been a challenge…

Lennon expected that after at least a few meetings, he would receive a reply suggesting an engagement.

But what came back from Count Phever was a curt rejection.

A blunt rejection that didn’t even provide a reason.

His heart sank.

He was already upset because of Ellie’s sudden disappearance.

Tormented by his inability to find her, he didn’t mean to take it out on Hannah Phever but he felt like he had to confront her and hear her side of the story.

Lennon wanted to face her and ask her why she had turned down the engagement that so many women wanted from him.

So, he went to visit Count Phever in person.

The one Lennon actually met was her younger brother Hardwin Phever.

According to Hardwin, the reason she turned down the engagement was because of her ‘illness’.

She said she was unsuitable to be the next Duchess of the Hills family because she suffered from a chronic bronchial disease.

On that day, her bronchial disease was so severe she could not speak well, which was why Hardwin greeted him that day.

Ah, she couldn’t speak well.

It was a statement that somehow reminded him of someone.

Hardwin Phever explained Hannah’s situation so that he wouldn’t be offended.

Lennon listened to their story like any gentleman would.

He couldn’t make a scene and demand that she come out right away when she was sick, so Lennon turned away.

She seemed like an interesting woman, but what could be done?

He figured that their relationship was not meant to be.

But then, as if by chance or fate, Lennon met Hannah, and those thoughts became meaningless.

Lennon could not forget Hannah’s appearance when she came out of the room.

Feet stretched out cautiously, as if hesitant to take a step forward, and head slightly bowed.

A face that gave off a vague feeling that was somehow pitiful and innocent.

Soft-looking silver hair that fell to her waist.

She looked more like Ellie than Hannah.

Lennon grabbed her and held her there as if possessed by something.

Ellie.

The woman who had left him with an unforgettable impression, even though it was only a short time.

The one who had been dominating his thoughts and dreams for the past few days.

But that woman said she was Hannah.

‘You’ve got the wrong person.’

And unlike Ellie, who couldn’t speak, Hannah was expressing her thoughts clearly.

But the two of them.

Was it possible to be this similar?

Hannah had stared into his red eyes, the one everyone else was afraid to look into.

Her amber eyes were so transparent that one could see right through them.

It resembled the way Ellie looked straight into his eyes.

The two of them.

They were so alike.

Of course, Hannah was wearing a nice dress and expensive-looking accessories.

It was completely different from Ellie who wore fake pearl earrings.

But Lennon’s instincts were whispering to him softly.

This woman. There’s something fishy about her.

She’s hiding something.

The aura she gave off was similar to Ellie’s.

What were the chances that a commoner like Ellie would become Hannah Phever in such a short period of time?

The odds were probably dire.

But somehow, he had doubts.

It was a feeling that it wasn’t something that should just be overlooked.

Okay, then I have to dig up everything about her.

From that day on, Lennon began to investigate the connection between Ellie and Hannah.

Because of that,

‘I witnessed two women with silver hair riding in the same carriage.’

He had found an interesting witness regarding a recent incident.

It was then he heard a knock on the door.

“Lennon. Are you in there?”

The voice was familiar.

Lennon answered casually.

“Yeah, come in.”

The door opened and someone entered.

It was a golden-haired woman who looked like Hayden.

A maid came in behind her and began arranging teacups on the table.

After dismissing the maid, the woman settled down leisurely on the sofa.

“What are you doing? Why don’t you come over here? Let’s have tea.”

Lennon rose from his chair at the desk and sat down on the sofa opposite her.

“Mother. What can I do for you?”

Lennon’s voice, as he asked, was indifferent. There was no emotion in it.

Even though he maintained a flirtatious relationship with his stepmother in order to make his father feel humiliated.

The one who was puzzled by his inexplicably cold attitude was his stepmother.

“Hey, Lennon Hills. You haven’t been following me around lately. Mom’s a little upset by that.”

“How can you say something like that when I’ve been running around so much? If anyone hears it, they’ll misunderstand.”

Lennon smiled faintly.

Normally, he would have answered by kissing her deeply. Of course, she would want that too.

His stepmother never once rejected him, because he was younger and more capable than his father.

She had been that way since the beginning.

But Lennon didn’t feel like pouncing her today.

It was as if he had become crippled and had no desire whatsoever.

He wondered if the reason was because Hannah, no, Ellie, was still dominating his mind.

Lennon had been having that problem a lot lately.

He would be having a conversation with someone else and suddenly realize that he was thinking about her…

His stepmother, who had been studying Lennon’s face closely, seemed to notice something and asked a question.

“Do you have a new girlfriend?”