The Perverted Jester of Chaos: Reborn to Clown Around

Chapter 15: Magical Mascots, Mystical Mayhem, and the Great Rematch

"You know, some people lead normal lives. They wake up, eat breakfast, go to work or school, and maybe watch TV before bed. Me? I fight spicy soup wizards in back alleys and have running arguments with an unseen author. If this sounds like a comedy, that's because it is. Welcome to my life."

---

The school bell rings, and as always, I'm running late.

"Move, legs, move!" I mutter, sprinting down the hallway.

I skid to a halt outside the classroom door, panting.

---

Narration Mode Activated

"Here's the thing about being late in a magical school: it's not just a demerit on your record. No, here, the teachers have creative punishments. Last week, one guy got turned into a toad for sneezing during a pop quiz."

---

The door creaks open, and Mr. Kurata, our homeroom teacher, looms in the doorway. He's tall, bald, and perpetually looks like he's considering setting someone on fire.

"Tanaka," he says in that slow, menacing tone of his. "You're late."

---

I give him my best apologetic smile. "I was, uh, helping a lost freshman find their way!"

"Really?" Mr. Kurata asks, raising an eyebrow. "And what was this student's name?"

"Uh…" I glance at the class for help, but everyone avoids eye contact.

---

Narration Mode Activated

"Traitors. All of them. You'd think at least one person would throw me a bone, but nope. This is why I don't share my snacks."

---

"I forgot their name," I say, grinning nervously.

Mr. Kurata sighs and steps aside. "Take your seat, Tanaka."

I bolt to my desk, sliding into my chair next to Reina.

"You're unbelievable," she whispers.

"Unbelievably charming," I whisper back.

---

Before she can retort, Mr. Kurata claps his hands. "Alright, class, today we'll be summoning your magical mascots."

A collective gasp sweeps through the room.

---

Narration Mode Activated

"For context, magical mascots are supposed to be these cute little creatures that help you focus your magic. Think tiny dragons, talking foxes, or fluffy bunnies with attitude problems. Sounds fun, right? Wrong. Knowing my luck, I'll end up with something embarrassing."

---

"Now," Mr. Kurata continues, "place your hands on the summoning circle and focus on your inner mana."

One by one, my classmates summon their mascots.

Sakura gets a shimmering phoenix.

Kenji gets a sleek black panther.

Even Reina gets a graceful silver wolf.

---

Then it's my turn.

I step up to the circle, ignoring the whispers and snickers from the back of the room.

"This is it," I mutter. "Don't embarrass me."

I close my eyes, channeling my magic. The circle glows brightly, and there's a loud POP!

---

When I open my eyes, a small, pink blob with tiny wings is staring at me.

"Hiya, boss!" it says in a high-pitched voice.

The class erupts into laughter.

---

Narration Mode Activated

"Of course. Of course, I get a talking marshmallow with wings. Why wouldn't I? Thanks, author. Really setting me up for success here."

[Author's Note: You're welcome.]

---

"What is that?" Reina whispers, trying not to laugh.

"No idea," I reply, glaring at the blob. "What are you supposed to be?"

"I'm Blobby!" it says cheerfully. "Your new magical mascot!"

"Blobby," I repeat flatly. "That's the best name you could come up with?"

---

The blob puffs up indignantly. "Hey! Don't judge me! I'm more powerful than I look!"

"Sure you are," I mutter.

Reina snickers. "I think it suits you."

---

Mr. Kurata clears his throat. "Tanaka, please remove your…mascot from the summoning circle."

"Gladly," I say, scooping up the blob. It wiggles happily in my hands.

"Yay! I'm going on an adventure!"

---

Narration Mode Activated

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

---

The rest of the school day is uneventful, except for Blobby's endless chatter.

"Hey, boss, what's this?"

"Hey, boss, can I eat this?"

"Hey, boss, do you think Reina likes you?"

---

I nearly trip. "What?!"

"I'm just saying," Blobby says, fluttering around my head. "She's always giving you that look, y'know?"

Reina, who's walking beside me, raises an eyebrow. "What look?"

"Nothing!" I say quickly, glaring at Blobby.

---

Reina smirks. "Your blob's got a big mouth."

"Tell me about it," I mutter.

Blobby giggles. "You love me, boss!"

---

We reach the cafeteria, and I'm about to grab a tray when the lights flicker.

An eerie silence falls over the room.

Then, the Sauce Mage appears, flanked by two giant animated pots.

---

"You again?!" I shout.

"Yes, me!" he declares. "And this time, I've brought reinforcements!"

The pots lurch forward, their lids clanking ominously.

"Why can't I just eat in peace?" I groan.

Reina pulls out her wand. "Looks like we're fighting our way to lunch."

---

Narration Mode Activated

"Fighting animated cookware. This is my life now. I hope you're happy, author."

[Author's Note: I'm having a blast, thanks.]

---

The pots start spewing streams of boiling soup, and students scatter in all directions.

I summon a golden barrier to block the attack. "Reina, cover me!"

"On it!" she shouts, launching ice spells at the pots.

---

Blobby flutters around, shouting encouragement. "Go, team, go!"

"Blobby, do something useful!" I yell.

"Like what?"

"Anything!"

---

The blob suddenly glows brightly, and the pots freeze mid-attack.

"Whoa," Reina says, staring at Blobby. "Did it just…stop them?"

"Of course I did!" Blobby says proudly. "Told ya I was powerful!"

---

The Sauce Mage looks panicked. "This isn't over!" he shouts, disappearing in another puff of paprika.

I sigh, lowering the barrier. "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

---

In a dark, smoky room, the Sauce Mage kneels before a council of shadowy figures.

"You've failed again," one of them says.

"But I have a new plan," the Sauce Mage replies, grinning. "This time, I'll unleash my greatest creation yet."

The room fills with ominous laughter.

End of Chapter 15